trust issues.....stupid hormones
i had some thoughts and they wouldnt go away.
i may have feelings for guys but do i trust the guy. How do i know i can trust any guy at the moment. Do i even trust myself? My walls are higher than they have ever been thanks to Brad. I gave him my trust, my heart and my soul and he tore them all apart! I only trust 1 guy and thats my best mate Rob.
You know for a short while before rob and i became best friends and stuff, in the times of still trying to get to know each other, i swear i had feelings for him. I know 2 years ago we hung out one night, coz i felt like crap and cancelled work, rob and i were hugging and i wanted to kiss him. That was a bad thing becoz we were best friends by then. We've been mates for 4 years and even to this day, whenever i hang out with him, i can never tell if i have feelings for him or if i love him coz he's my best mate!!
Anyway maybe i trusted brad too much. Yes i loved him, but i should of kept some walls up...why did i bring them all down? Out of all the guys ive been with and all the guys i know, why him? Does that mean, because i trust rob, he is gonna break my trust? Maybe rob is the only guy i should trust or maybe i should never trust again!
Can i even trust my girls? girls in my past have broken my trust. told my secrets, lied to me, used me etc.
this all sounds so stupid!! Why did those kinds of thoughts pop into my head? Stupid hormones!!!