(no subject)
Right when you think life is getting better, it takes a big shit right on top of your head. I wish when things affected my life and not just someone else's that I would get some sort of consideration or say in the matter. I love when things get crappier than they already are. First I only have Saturdays, those get cut in half because of stupid crap and now my Saturdays are gonna be gone and all I have is Sunday and I have to work smack in the middle of the day. Fuck it. I can't put up with this shit much longer. If things aren't already fucking hard enough.
I already have enough crap on my mind right now. I don't have the time for this shit to happen right now. I don't have the time to feel angry and upset. I don't have the time to be in a situation where either I give someone what they want and be miserable or not give them what they want and feel guilty for it. What a shitty ass position to be in. Not to mention, after committing and FINALLY getting the Sunday hours I have been wanting, I will have to give them up. That would mean I could only work 5 hours a week which would only be $50 a week. What kind of bullshit is that? I have a $160 bill I have to pay every month for my loan...so what do I have to do? Start chipping away at my savings I guess. Maybe I shouldn't quit Sundays. Maybe I shouldn't have to change my life to accomodate someone else...they make the choice to change my life, so why should I have to change my Saturdays and then my Sunday too? It's like there is no common ground with this. If I have to give up my Sunday, then someone should pay my bill for me because as sad as it sounds...the two extra hours of work will help.
I'm glad that my week has officially been screwed over. I feel like shit. I guess I can go and make less in a month than a used to make in a week. That's fucked up. Like I said before...it doesn't matter how I feel because in the end it is me who has to change and it is me who has to do all the giving up while other people gain things like easier lives that don't make them tired or worn-out. Well guess what? My life isn't exactly the easiest either and it's not getting easier, but it's my life and I have to deal with it.
I already have enough crap on my mind right now. I don't have the time for this shit to happen right now. I don't have the time to feel angry and upset. I don't have the time to be in a situation where either I give someone what they want and be miserable or not give them what they want and feel guilty for it. What a shitty ass position to be in. Not to mention, after committing and FINALLY getting the Sunday hours I have been wanting, I will have to give them up. That would mean I could only work 5 hours a week which would only be $50 a week. What kind of bullshit is that? I have a $160 bill I have to pay every month for my loan...so what do I have to do? Start chipping away at my savings I guess. Maybe I shouldn't quit Sundays. Maybe I shouldn't have to change my life to accomodate someone else...they make the choice to change my life, so why should I have to change my Saturdays and then my Sunday too? It's like there is no common ground with this. If I have to give up my Sunday, then someone should pay my bill for me because as sad as it sounds...the two extra hours of work will help.
I'm glad that my week has officially been screwed over. I feel like shit. I guess I can go and make less in a month than a used to make in a week. That's fucked up. Like I said before...it doesn't matter how I feel because in the end it is me who has to change and it is me who has to do all the giving up while other people gain things like easier lives that don't make them tired or worn-out. Well guess what? My life isn't exactly the easiest either and it's not getting easier, but it's my life and I have to deal with it.