(no subject)
i have a new boy and i like him alot.. alot alot... he makes me feel real good. A happiness i have never felt before.. i didnt know it was possible to be this happy with someone.. to care about someone so much and they return the favor.. im confused right now.. im just out of a very rocky relationship which i was hurt very badly and i wouldnt want someone else to feel that pain... its a horrible thing.. but right now my emotions are crazy.. and i dont want to jump into something and end up fucking it up. because.. i dont fuck up. so i wont. but regardless that i dont want to jump into it right now.. doesnt mean i dont care or that i wont get involved when he gets back in 2 months from boot camp.. im not going to lie... 2 months is going to be rough.. but it will give me time to think about me and what i really want and what will make me happy.. im 99% sure.. but the 1% gives me doubts.. not on him but on me being in a relationship so soon with other baggage attached to it.. i wouldnt want someone to do that to me so i refuse to do that to someone else. i dont know if he understands where im coming from right now but he will.. im not trying to mess things up at all.. because everything feels so right. right now. but i need to see what these 2 months brings.. i can spend time at home with my family.. try and go back to school and whatnot.. im not looking for anyone really because i have someone who is amazing and wonderful and everything else good i can say.. but hes leaving me.. :( its not his fault.. i want him to do what he has to do for himself.... u need to love yourself before you can love someone else.. and thats what i need to work on.