wah wah wah wah pityparty5000
I feel embarrassed to admit how miserable I am right now.
Partly, because I don't want anyone to think it's because I'm in Spain, or that there are problems with Pau. That's not the case. I think I'm probably going through the normal process of someone trying to start a life in another country who already has a partner.
Every time I have time to myself I feel relieved...but...have nothing to do and no one to hang out with so I get sad.
I end up cleaning...cleaning things that the other person who lives here will just mess up and leave messy tomorrow.
I end up cooking....cooking things for someone who never has time to make a meal for me.
It makes me sad.
I have friends...with kids...and no time.
Remind me not to have kids.
I have Bartleby, but mostly I just end up feeling sorry that he has to live in this apartment, in this city...without understanding why.
I talk to my mom, but it's sad that I can't see her.
I'm beginning to give up.
It's hard to have a bad week, with an exhausted partner who can't spend time with you..and who is so buusy it's making his head hurt....and arrive at a weekend to be filled with activities for your partner's birthday, and his school. I feel like I don't fucking exist and like at the same time I'm an asshole for not knowing how to make Pau's life less stressful. On top of that, I'm not very good at making friends. Everyone I meet seems to already have a family and friends. I don't seem to fit in anyhere.
Partly, because I don't want anyone to think it's because I'm in Spain, or that there are problems with Pau. That's not the case. I think I'm probably going through the normal process of someone trying to start a life in another country who already has a partner.
Every time I have time to myself I feel relieved...but...have nothing to do and no one to hang out with so I get sad.
I end up cleaning...cleaning things that the other person who lives here will just mess up and leave messy tomorrow.
I end up cooking....cooking things for someone who never has time to make a meal for me.
It makes me sad.
I have friends...with kids...and no time.
Remind me not to have kids.
I have Bartleby, but mostly I just end up feeling sorry that he has to live in this apartment, in this city...without understanding why.
I talk to my mom, but it's sad that I can't see her.
I'm beginning to give up.
It's hard to have a bad week, with an exhausted partner who can't spend time with you..and who is so buusy it's making his head hurt....and arrive at a weekend to be filled with activities for your partner's birthday, and his school. I feel like I don't fucking exist and like at the same time I'm an asshole for not knowing how to make Pau's life less stressful. On top of that, I'm not very good at making friends. Everyone I meet seems to already have a family and friends. I don't seem to fit in anyhere.