i dont know how to feel......i just feel
Don't know what I was looking for when I went home, I found me alone
And sometimes I need someone to say, "You'll be all right. What's on your mind?"
There is so much on my mind right now i dont even know if i will be able to cover it so im just going to start.
I think the quote above really signifies what this journal entry is really about. I mean writing in this thing is a really good way for me to let my feelings out and all that but sometimes i just want someone to talk to.
This weekend was really cool, but it was also intriguing. Wednesday night I went out with my mom's new car and that was aweomse, i love that car it rides so nice and its just a really freaking nice car. I went over to matts house but then we just got a couple of movies and went over to Jen Kappelhoffs(sp?) and watched them. After we watched American History X me, braker, kevin and nick went to In N out and it was delicious. Then i went home. Thursday was thanksgiving and my Uncle Bruce came over for dinner and that was cool to catch up with him since i hadnt seen him in a long time. Thursday night i went over to matts house but we didnt really do anything of much importance just hung out and all that. Friday we hung out and stole a sign of cameo drive that looked like a penis and saturday once again we just chilled and shot the shit.
What i find sorta funny about this whole weekend is that for the most part, all the people that had gone away for school were all out in the garage being social with each other while the people who stayed home for school, well basically werent all that social. I shouldnt really put matt in that group because I know that on like friday night i think it was danielle was upset about somethin and he was being a good guy and being there for her, so i cant hold that against him, but like brian and michelle were back to their arguments again and making it pretty uncomfortable for everyone else, not to mention the fact that they did very little socializing with everyone that they hadnt seen in so long. Well anyway thats pretty much it about the weekend...
The next thing that is going through my mind was triggered by the conversation that jeff, braker, matt and I had. We mainly just talked about classes and school and what carrer's that we were planning on choosing, and basically what we wanted to do with the rest of our lives. It seems so strange to me that we spent about 2 hours talking about this because it just seems like such a vast topic to be talking about. We are 18 years old and we are trying to figure out what we are going to do for the next 40-60 years of our lives. It just doesnt seem like you can figure it out in one night. It also raised an interesting question in my mind. What am i living for? I dont ask this in the sense that I feel like I want to kill myself or anything like that, but I just dont know what I'm living for. I mean i know what i want to do with my life, well im pretty sure that i know whati want to do with my life, but i dont know i just dont feel like im living for anything really. I mean i have a goal or a purpose or whatever, i mean right now its to make it out of college, and to get a job, star a family, make a ton of money and be happy or whatever but i just dont feel like im living for something you know? I dont know, this is a really hard feeling to describe.
Last but not least Im not really sure what teh status of my relationship is with michaela....
Goodnight
And sometimes I need someone to say, "You'll be all right. What's on your mind?"
There is so much on my mind right now i dont even know if i will be able to cover it so im just going to start.
I think the quote above really signifies what this journal entry is really about. I mean writing in this thing is a really good way for me to let my feelings out and all that but sometimes i just want someone to talk to.
This weekend was really cool, but it was also intriguing. Wednesday night I went out with my mom's new car and that was aweomse, i love that car it rides so nice and its just a really freaking nice car. I went over to matts house but then we just got a couple of movies and went over to Jen Kappelhoffs(sp?) and watched them. After we watched American History X me, braker, kevin and nick went to In N out and it was delicious. Then i went home. Thursday was thanksgiving and my Uncle Bruce came over for dinner and that was cool to catch up with him since i hadnt seen him in a long time. Thursday night i went over to matts house but we didnt really do anything of much importance just hung out and all that. Friday we hung out and stole a sign of cameo drive that looked like a penis and saturday once again we just chilled and shot the shit.
What i find sorta funny about this whole weekend is that for the most part, all the people that had gone away for school were all out in the garage being social with each other while the people who stayed home for school, well basically werent all that social. I shouldnt really put matt in that group because I know that on like friday night i think it was danielle was upset about somethin and he was being a good guy and being there for her, so i cant hold that against him, but like brian and michelle were back to their arguments again and making it pretty uncomfortable for everyone else, not to mention the fact that they did very little socializing with everyone that they hadnt seen in so long. Well anyway thats pretty much it about the weekend...
The next thing that is going through my mind was triggered by the conversation that jeff, braker, matt and I had. We mainly just talked about classes and school and what carrer's that we were planning on choosing, and basically what we wanted to do with the rest of our lives. It seems so strange to me that we spent about 2 hours talking about this because it just seems like such a vast topic to be talking about. We are 18 years old and we are trying to figure out what we are going to do for the next 40-60 years of our lives. It just doesnt seem like you can figure it out in one night. It also raised an interesting question in my mind. What am i living for? I dont ask this in the sense that I feel like I want to kill myself or anything like that, but I just dont know what I'm living for. I mean i know what i want to do with my life, well im pretty sure that i know whati want to do with my life, but i dont know i just dont feel like im living for anything really. I mean i have a goal or a purpose or whatever, i mean right now its to make it out of college, and to get a job, star a family, make a ton of money and be happy or whatever but i just dont feel like im living for something you know? I dont know, this is a really hard feeling to describe.
Last but not least Im not really sure what teh status of my relationship is with michaela....
Goodnight