(no subject)
Well it really hurts that I no longer have a romantic relationship with Bethany! Although this is probably how it was all meant to be, I know we were put together for a reason whether it be as lovers or as friends. We learned alot from each other and helped each other to have a better self esteem. That is very important. As much as I never thought it would happen, I think I am going to go out and have fun and be a normal 18 year old! Go hang out with friends and make new friends, I would even like to be able to hang out with people and Bethany be involved, just not quite yet. I need to have fun and be an 18 year old and stop acting like an old maid or a loser.!! I am sure as hell gonna go out and have fun! When we were together I would stay at home so that I would be able to talk to her and I still want to talk to her on a regular basis, but I dont need to sit at home and be miserable and wait on her to call like I did tonight! I am not going to start partying alot though because I dont want to be a partyer I just want to go places and have a good time. I had a great time last night, and I need to get out and do things more often. Sitting on your ass doesn't make you a very fun person. Hell I may even go out and act crazy like I have never done before, I dont know what its like to be single! That's sad huh? People say its fun and you dont have to worry about anything and that sounds like it could be cool, but my heart doesnt know still! I just want to be happy instead of miserable! I am not going to let myself be miserable anymore. I will probably still cry a good bit when I sit down and really think about it but I dont have to sit and think all the time! After wednesday I probably wont be doing alot of sitting around anymore, at least I hope! sorry I am going on it is 4 in the morning and I cant sleep, I will shut up now before I get a little weird! Goodnight to all!