(no subject)
So I don't know what happened but I am going to live in a dorm for next semester. I like really had enough. Like it went too far and like I can't live my life like this. If everyone wants to be mad at me, please go ahead but your making my life miserable. I am just kinda afraid for when my mom leaves because I fear all hell will break loose.
Like my cousin's husband's relative is coming to stay with us ( supposely ) for like 6 months. Its already "crowded" in our house already. ( Meaning I get on my cousin's nerves ). If this realitive comes I feel that it would be really really bad. Like its already bad but it would be worse and I would do horrible in school. Like I spoke to my cousin briefly this morning and she was saying you know " Why don't you just go. You've been wanting to do it anyways." Like trying to make me feel bad but like there is no place for me to stay now lol. Like if the lady doesn't come thats fine ( and they still don't know because they are still discussing it and the lady is coming like next week ) but if she does come its just not going to work out. She knows it and I know that. I don't know why she is giving me a hard time. I don't know if its because of money ( I hope not because then she would be using me badly ) or is it because of something else. To me it looks like it has to be because of money now because like if her husband's aunt comes like someone would always be with her child. So I think that's kinda screwed up. And its not like that I won't be around. If they needed help I would quickly come and help in a second. I'm not going to school out of state. I just don't understand and I can't live my life like this.
I am already as miserable as it is. And seriously it is her husbands fault because he was telling my stepdad that his aunt was coming and it was "crowded" in his house and he has no privacy. So what do u think is going to happen? Right. I just can't take it and seriously it will really suck for them if his aunt doesn't come because I am out. They can hate me all they want but I wouldn't survive any longer.
I can't even enjoy the things that I should. This should be a happy time in my life and it feels like its the end of the world. Always.
It sucks because everyone says that I should go and I keep on putting bringing myself back.
I guess you can say that I feel abused.
*+* JessRS *+*
Like my cousin's husband's relative is coming to stay with us ( supposely ) for like 6 months. Its already "crowded" in our house already. ( Meaning I get on my cousin's nerves ). If this realitive comes I feel that it would be really really bad. Like its already bad but it would be worse and I would do horrible in school. Like I spoke to my cousin briefly this morning and she was saying you know " Why don't you just go. You've been wanting to do it anyways." Like trying to make me feel bad but like there is no place for me to stay now lol. Like if the lady doesn't come thats fine ( and they still don't know because they are still discussing it and the lady is coming like next week ) but if she does come its just not going to work out. She knows it and I know that. I don't know why she is giving me a hard time. I don't know if its because of money ( I hope not because then she would be using me badly ) or is it because of something else. To me it looks like it has to be because of money now because like if her husband's aunt comes like someone would always be with her child. So I think that's kinda screwed up. And its not like that I won't be around. If they needed help I would quickly come and help in a second. I'm not going to school out of state. I just don't understand and I can't live my life like this.
I am already as miserable as it is. And seriously it is her husbands fault because he was telling my stepdad that his aunt was coming and it was "crowded" in his house and he has no privacy. So what do u think is going to happen? Right. I just can't take it and seriously it will really suck for them if his aunt doesn't come because I am out. They can hate me all they want but I wouldn't survive any longer.
I can't even enjoy the things that I should. This should be a happy time in my life and it feels like its the end of the world. Always.
It sucks because everyone says that I should go and I keep on putting bringing myself back.
I guess you can say that I feel abused.
*+* JessRS *+*