(no subject)
It's all once again aparent.
I need to remember why it is this way, what it is I lack or have that repels true love away.
Or maybe it's something I do.
so that remains a question.
If a main part of being happy to me is making someone else happy, pleasing someone else, and if no one likes you being you. Do you just stay away?
Cause you can't very well change yourself and be you.
Do you just stay away and find what peace you can find with your pets?
I suppose a life with no woman for a man to please is still a life with some comfort. Music, reading and writing... I could still enjoy these things.
What's the point with no one to share them with. I believe I said this about my journal last post. I believe I meant it.
I write here to remind me how I feel this day already so upon reflection I can remember how I felt.
I really want a hug and I honestly feel like crying, my eyes are tearing up actually.
The truth is there is no one I even trust to hug, or confide in anymore, especailly now I am moving. And all my friends moved out of state or far away.
I am 28 years old now. 10 yeasr since highschool. List of things I don't have that I thought I would.
A nice car.
A solid career.
A record contract.
A wife.
A family of my own.
A house.
A reason to go to my class reunion.
I can't help but be down, everyone says to cheer up. I want to. It's making me feel even more ashamed like that my pathetic one month should be so easy to get over. it was my first one in 5 years. it hurts.
I should just do us all a favor. the world doesn't need more hermits.
I need to remember why it is this way, what it is I lack or have that repels true love away.
Or maybe it's something I do.
so that remains a question.
If a main part of being happy to me is making someone else happy, pleasing someone else, and if no one likes you being you. Do you just stay away?
Cause you can't very well change yourself and be you.
Do you just stay away and find what peace you can find with your pets?
I suppose a life with no woman for a man to please is still a life with some comfort. Music, reading and writing... I could still enjoy these things.
What's the point with no one to share them with. I believe I said this about my journal last post. I believe I meant it.
I write here to remind me how I feel this day already so upon reflection I can remember how I felt.
I really want a hug and I honestly feel like crying, my eyes are tearing up actually.
The truth is there is no one I even trust to hug, or confide in anymore, especailly now I am moving. And all my friends moved out of state or far away.
I am 28 years old now. 10 yeasr since highschool. List of things I don't have that I thought I would.
A nice car.
A solid career.
A record contract.
A wife.
A family of my own.
A house.
A reason to go to my class reunion.
I can't help but be down, everyone says to cheer up. I want to. It's making me feel even more ashamed like that my pathetic one month should be so easy to get over. it was my first one in 5 years. it hurts.
I should just do us all a favor. the world doesn't need more hermits.