(no subject)
That Hurricane sucked........................i got my root canal today and it HURT LIKE A HOBO IN A RAINBOW WORLD.......oh well ill get over it.......chris my now new boyfriend is cool.........ok in the hall today at school today Jimmy made out with me and when i told Chris he didnt care.....does he care for me or does he think im a whore or something......i mean i have been going out with a lot of people but i havent even kissed chris(well on the cheek) i dont like jimmy but chris didnt care which made me feel like no one really cares for me.....i have been really depressed latly and i have been looking for someone to talk to but nothing no one.....i cant stand the pain and emptyness on the inside but i cant do anything about it........i started cutting again and stopped eating.i cant do anything..............i made the pain on the inside come out on the outside and i saw the blood and felt the pain i fetl on the inside...my legs i have started cutting now to no one can see.....the mask i wear everyday needs to come down i cant be happy on th outside without being happy on the inside ......i dont understand why i have to feel this way i mean i cant be happy i think it is impossable to be happy now like im not going to find any happyness in my life at this moment in time.......i feel as if no one cares if i live or die no one showes it and i cant make them.....i dont have friends to hangout with so im alone everyday now and sometimes on the weekands.....i need to be around people who want to be around me.....i dont think anyone does at this point im so depressed they want to get away as fast as possible..................................yes im doing the self pitty thing