I'm soooooo sorry that your relationship with Katie was worse than mine with Miguel, you still get the award for worst relationship ever, is that what you want? Jesus, I am trying to work through this, Justin. It's just hard for me because you know damn well how long I was single for after the sperminator incident and it is just really damn nice to have someone to be my last call of the day to say "hi, i'm glad you are with me, my life is enriched by your presence in it" or something to that effect.
You have heard me say good things about them, the bad things just seems to burn into your memory more. He constantly tells me how he got so lucky to be with me and makes me feel wanted, he loves to cook and will go all out and make me dinner and light candles and have my favorite wine there that he went to the trouble of finding and he doesn't even drink wine, I love it in the middle of the night when he will nudge me and wake me up to tell me I'm amazing, those are a few of the great things in this relationship, and it's just been really shitty this past month due to the circumstances and the events that went down.
I can tell he is trying his best but he does admit things are very hard for him right now and they should be, there is a lot of stuff going down.
And you of all people should know me well enough to know that dating me is no walk in the flowers, I am pretty damn difficult.
I never write about those things or talk about those things because honestly yes, the bad are outweighing the good at this point.
and - I feel really shitty about it, so please no comments on "how can you ask all of this of Miguel when he can't trust you and blah blah blah"
I feel bad, and I will tell him about it. Me hiding it from him would mean I have something to hide from him, and there is nothing to hide because I obviously feel completely shitty about it. And I told him about the last time I got drunk and did that and he gave me a really hard time about it and I fucking deserved it.
I'm sorry I'm just unloading on you Jus, but I'm feeling a lot of pressure from so many ends, and thank you for thinking I could do better, but take a look at my long list of loser ex boyfriends...see a pattern? Look at the fact that Miguel is my first boyfriend in over a year...it all adds up.
all im sayin is you dont seem happy like you usually are, and that it jsut seems like its a relationship of convenience, but if you are happy than more power to you, i love you and will support you babe, its just some of our conversations have been really the opposite of this, but if yer happy than stick with it, i just dont want you talkin yerself into happyness like i did
You have heard me say good things about them, the bad things just seems to burn into your memory more. He constantly tells me how he got so lucky to be with me and makes me feel wanted, he loves to cook and will go all out and make me dinner and light candles and have my favorite wine there that he went to the trouble of finding and he doesn't even drink wine, I love it in the middle of the night when he will nudge me and wake me up to tell me I'm amazing, those are a few of the great things in this relationship, and it's just been really shitty this past month due to the circumstances and the events that went down.
I can tell he is trying his best but he does admit things are very hard for him right now and they should be, there is a lot of stuff going down.
And you of all people should know me well enough to know that dating me is no walk in the flowers, I am pretty damn difficult.
I never write about those things or talk about those things because honestly yes, the bad are outweighing the good at this point.
and - I feel really shitty about it, so please no comments on "how can you ask all of this of Miguel when he can't trust you and blah blah blah"
I feel bad, and I will tell him about it. Me hiding it from him would mean I have something to hide from him, and there is nothing to hide because I obviously feel completely shitty about it. And I told him about the last time I got drunk and did that and he gave me a really hard time about it and I fucking deserved it.
I'm sorry I'm just unloading on you Jus, but I'm feeling a lot of pressure from so many ends, and thank you for thinking I could do better, but take a look at my long list of loser ex boyfriends...see a pattern? Look at the fact that Miguel is my first boyfriend in over a year...it all adds up.
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