Vision Quest
5:00 AM:
Alarm goes off. Hits snooze. This repeats for an hour.
6:00 AM:
Wakes up. WHOOO!!! VISION QUEST DAYYYYY!
6:05 AM:
Eats a mushroom cap. Pees. Starts walking towards gas station for coffee and water.
6:37 AM:
Sips coffee. Looks at the other mushroom. “Fuck it. Let’s go.” Eats other mushroom.
6:54 AM:
Ok. Let’s see how long it takes to climb that mountain.
6:58 AM:
Hits a fence, turns around.
7:15 AM:
Lights a cig on top of the mountain. “That…did not take as long as expected.”
7:25 AM:
“Ope. Feeling a lil funny. The world is twinkling. Time to go explore.”
7:40 AM:
Finds abandoned mine. Nips moonshine. Takes pictures. Spills coffee.
8:00 AM: “…Imma just walk that way into the desert and see what happens. What’s that over there? How far is that? Let’s find out.”
9:00 AM:
On a completely different mountain. Feelin’ great about everything.
9:10 AM:
“I should climb another mountain. I also should have eaten more mushroom.”
9:25 AM:
“That mountain was easy. I should climb another mountain. I totally should have eaten more mushrooms.”
9:37 AM:
“THATS THE BIGGEST MOUNTAIN!!! These were easy. That can’t be as big as it looks. Should I try it?”
9:40 AM:
“I’m gonna climb the biggest mountain. No problem. I can be back down by noon.”
9:45 AM
“OUCH!!! Fuckin thorns. Wait what is that. GLASS?! In the desert? Seriously. Is this a sign? Should I not climb that mountain?”
9:48 AM:
Gets glass out of flip flop. “FUCK THAT. Not a sign. Let’s climb this mountain. Which path should I take. There’s a wash. There’s another wash. But I think if I go right here it’s the quickest way up to the spine and it looks like there’s a switchback. I should have eaten more mushrooms…”
9:56 AM:
“Ok. Ok. Watch your step. Just get to that red cactus and it looks like it levels out.”
10:15:
Gets to red cactus. It does not level out, gets steeper.
10:18 AM:
“Holy shit holy shit holy shit. Don’t look backwards. Just keep going forward. DONT LOOK DOWN. I’m so glad I didn’t eat more mushrooms.” Takes big furry coat off.
10:20: Throws big furry coat up. Climbs to it. Repeat for several minutes.
10:50 AM:
“I fucked up.”
10:52 AM:
“There is uhhhh…not a way down. And no good way to continue up. Am…am I stuck? How much does a helicopter ride cost? What the fuck was I thinking. Should have listened to that glass in my shoe. I am totally still trippin. This is how I die. For sure. Like, makes waaaaay too much sense. Falling of a mountain? Yup. That’s it. Better make a Facebook post so they know where to look for my corpse.”
11:10 AM:
“Ok seriously though. How am I gonna get down? NOT the way I just came. No way. Impossible. That almost looks like a level down there, but what’s past it? Another cliff? Fuuuuuck man. Ok. I gotta try.” Throws coat. Scoots down cliff side towards it.
11:15 AM:
Throws coat. Scoots down cliff side towards it. Tries not to cause a rockslide. Has panic attack. Repeat many times.
11:30 AM:
steadily grounded in wash. Stands upright. “fuuuuuuck ok. Phew. That was close.” Nips moonshine.
11:53 AM:
Calls Justeen. Goes off about epic tale.
12:15 PM:
“I need a sandwich.”
12:30 PM:
Eats tuna sandwich.
12:45 PM:
Returns to RV a changed man. Need to make a few phone calls and tell people how much I love em. Mushrooms have pretty much completely worn off. VISION QUEST SUCCESS.
Alarm goes off. Hits snooze. This repeats for an hour.
6:00 AM:
Wakes up. WHOOO!!! VISION QUEST DAYYYYY!
6:05 AM:
Eats a mushroom cap. Pees. Starts walking towards gas station for coffee and water.
6:37 AM:
Sips coffee. Looks at the other mushroom. “Fuck it. Let’s go.” Eats other mushroom.
6:54 AM:
Ok. Let’s see how long it takes to climb that mountain.
6:58 AM:
Hits a fence, turns around.
7:15 AM:
Lights a cig on top of the mountain. “That…did not take as long as expected.”
7:25 AM:
“Ope. Feeling a lil funny. The world is twinkling. Time to go explore.”
7:40 AM:
Finds abandoned mine. Nips moonshine. Takes pictures. Spills coffee.
8:00 AM: “…Imma just walk that way into the desert and see what happens. What’s that over there? How far is that? Let’s find out.”
9:00 AM:
On a completely different mountain. Feelin’ great about everything.
9:10 AM:
“I should climb another mountain. I also should have eaten more mushroom.”
9:25 AM:
“That mountain was easy. I should climb another mountain. I totally should have eaten more mushrooms.”
9:37 AM:
“THATS THE BIGGEST MOUNTAIN!!! These were easy. That can’t be as big as it looks. Should I try it?”
9:40 AM:
“I’m gonna climb the biggest mountain. No problem. I can be back down by noon.”
9:45 AM
“OUCH!!! Fuckin thorns. Wait what is that. GLASS?! In the desert? Seriously. Is this a sign? Should I not climb that mountain?”
9:48 AM:
Gets glass out of flip flop. “FUCK THAT. Not a sign. Let’s climb this mountain. Which path should I take. There’s a wash. There’s another wash. But I think if I go right here it’s the quickest way up to the spine and it looks like there’s a switchback. I should have eaten more mushrooms…”
9:56 AM:
“Ok. Ok. Watch your step. Just get to that red cactus and it looks like it levels out.”
10:15:
Gets to red cactus. It does not level out, gets steeper.
10:18 AM:
“Holy shit holy shit holy shit. Don’t look backwards. Just keep going forward. DONT LOOK DOWN. I’m so glad I didn’t eat more mushrooms.” Takes big furry coat off.
10:20: Throws big furry coat up. Climbs to it. Repeat for several minutes.
10:50 AM:
“I fucked up.”
10:52 AM:
“There is uhhhh…not a way down. And no good way to continue up. Am…am I stuck? How much does a helicopter ride cost? What the fuck was I thinking. Should have listened to that glass in my shoe. I am totally still trippin. This is how I die. For sure. Like, makes waaaaay too much sense. Falling of a mountain? Yup. That’s it. Better make a Facebook post so they know where to look for my corpse.”
11:10 AM:
“Ok seriously though. How am I gonna get down? NOT the way I just came. No way. Impossible. That almost looks like a level down there, but what’s past it? Another cliff? Fuuuuuck man. Ok. I gotta try.” Throws coat. Scoots down cliff side towards it.
11:15 AM:
Throws coat. Scoots down cliff side towards it. Tries not to cause a rockslide. Has panic attack. Repeat many times.
11:30 AM:
steadily grounded in wash. Stands upright. “fuuuuuuck ok. Phew. That was close.” Nips moonshine.
11:53 AM:
Calls Justeen. Goes off about epic tale.
12:15 PM:
“I need a sandwich.”
12:30 PM:
Eats tuna sandwich.
12:45 PM:
Returns to RV a changed man. Need to make a few phone calls and tell people how much I love em. Mushrooms have pretty much completely worn off. VISION QUEST SUCCESS.