(no subject)
I think my heart jumps into my throat and tears well up in my eyes every time I think about you. Giving up is always the hardest thing to do when there is nothing to give up on. I just need to say goodbye to you. Look into your empty eyes and feel your cold rigid body strain to press against mine in a forced embrace for one last time. I need to know that it's all in my head, that anything I felt was fake and only existed out my own pure desperation. Everyone was rooting for you to at least be a decent human being, to not treat me like another notch on your bed post. But here I sit, number twenty five, thirty nine, fifty six something. There's nothing about me that you will remember. You'll forget the nights we stayed up late making each other laugh. You'll forget how peaceful I looked when I slept. How electrifiying it was touching skin on skin. I don't think you ever remembered how our first kiss happened, you were so drunk. You never felt the judging eyes of your roommates, because they knew what this was all about. They looked at me like, stupid girl, what makes you think you're so special? I'm not, I am nothing in your eyes and it's taking time but I'm getting used to this empty feeling I get from you.
I'm sorry you missed out on a great friend.
I'm sorry you missed out on a great friend.