(no subject)
I have learned that my skin color is undesireable, that it is ugly. I expose myslef and all I hear is "oh my god you are white" or "holy crap Corey" It hurts more than people realize. I feel gross and unwanted. I think that's why I like the colder months so much, I get to cover up.
I mean I went to NY for the first time last year and I couldn't go certain places becuase I was too white. I had never felt that before, descrimination because of my skin. It sucked and opened up my eyes as well.
It doesn't help either that I was just potentially going to be with this one kid but he was deciding between me and another girl. He told us both about it and we knew already I mean me and this other girl are pretty good friends. We're a lot alike in our personalities and such except she is darker skinned with dark hair and deep eyes. Guess who he picked.
I've always known that I was really white but over the years having it constantly shoved in my face has just been really getting to me. And no I will not fake and bake and lotions are too much to keep up with. I just wish people saw me the way that I see myself.
I mean I went to NY for the first time last year and I couldn't go certain places becuase I was too white. I had never felt that before, descrimination because of my skin. It sucked and opened up my eyes as well.
It doesn't help either that I was just potentially going to be with this one kid but he was deciding between me and another girl. He told us both about it and we knew already I mean me and this other girl are pretty good friends. We're a lot alike in our personalities and such except she is darker skinned with dark hair and deep eyes. Guess who he picked.
I've always known that I was really white but over the years having it constantly shoved in my face has just been really getting to me. And no I will not fake and bake and lotions are too much to keep up with. I just wish people saw me the way that I see myself.