lost...
I've lost something i'm pretty sure i once had a good hold on... and i'm not very sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing to have lost...
I finally feel the way about Adham that a good girlfriend should feel about her equally good boyfriend... I miss him so much when we're not together... I never thought I'd feel this way about him... I've felt it for others... true. But he loved me so much I think i was scared to let myself love him... or at least i was scared to admit that i loved him... but I do... and now i'm not scared... well... i am... but relationships are like that most of the time... down one minute, up the next... somewhere in the air at the turn of the corner and right back where you belong at the end of the ride...
i know... i sound very dawson's creek intro-y... let me shush...
basically I've found a place where i'm happily trotting along and I like it... I like it a lot... happiness doesn't last forever... sometimes happiness is just a facade... sometimes you're lucky enough to find true happiness to help you through your psuedohappy life... then sometimes... you realize just what you've got and hang on like hell...
i used happy too much in that paragraph... sorry... it's late... i'm rambling... *must revise this in the morning*... *but probably won't*...
For all you ppl out there who've been with me through a lot over the past week... I love you more than you know... there's only a couple of you... but you know who you are... for those of you who don't know what i'm talking about... forget it... you'll never know... just be thankful you don't have to put up a facade... and relish in every minute of your perfect lives...
I feel like i've really updated this time... of course, i've probably made no sense to anyone... screw you guys... b/c i don't care... I made sense to me... and that's what journals are about...
<3
Somer*
just as a side note... I miss Johnathan... AND... I FINALLY saw Heather in Anderson!!!! Go me ^_^ <3
I finally feel the way about Adham that a good girlfriend should feel about her equally good boyfriend... I miss him so much when we're not together... I never thought I'd feel this way about him... I've felt it for others... true. But he loved me so much I think i was scared to let myself love him... or at least i was scared to admit that i loved him... but I do... and now i'm not scared... well... i am... but relationships are like that most of the time... down one minute, up the next... somewhere in the air at the turn of the corner and right back where you belong at the end of the ride...
i know... i sound very dawson's creek intro-y... let me shush...
basically I've found a place where i'm happily trotting along and I like it... I like it a lot... happiness doesn't last forever... sometimes happiness is just a facade... sometimes you're lucky enough to find true happiness to help you through your psuedohappy life... then sometimes... you realize just what you've got and hang on like hell...
i used happy too much in that paragraph... sorry... it's late... i'm rambling... *must revise this in the morning*... *but probably won't*...
For all you ppl out there who've been with me through a lot over the past week... I love you more than you know... there's only a couple of you... but you know who you are... for those of you who don't know what i'm talking about... forget it... you'll never know... just be thankful you don't have to put up a facade... and relish in every minute of your perfect lives...
I feel like i've really updated this time... of course, i've probably made no sense to anyone... screw you guys... b/c i don't care... I made sense to me... and that's what journals are about...
<3
Somer*
just as a side note... I miss Johnathan... AND... I FINALLY saw Heather in Anderson!!!! Go me ^_^ <3