(no subject)
so i decided next spring i'm goin back to school. i want to be a mechanic. i've wanted to work on cars for a good while now, i enjoy it it. i really do. there's satisfaction in fixin shit with your hands, and all that. so i tell my parents, cuz they've been all up on me, since i left school, that i'm wasting my life not goin to school, thinkin that they'd be all happy that i've made a decision to make something of myself. they have taken it upon themselves to try to tell me to take a class at oakton see if it is what i want. but it wasn't the whole just be sure it's what you want speech, it was the we're disappointed that you've decided to do shoot for something so blue collar with your life rather than be a big hotshot lawyer like all our nieces and nephews speech. i'm sick of every time i try to better myself, they try to talk me out of it, and then when they do, they go on about how disappointing i am, and that i should go to law school or something. when i wanted to be a herpetologist, they NEVER tried to talk me out of it. but that proved to be impractical, i can't afford to kill my job to go to school. and frankly, i'm not all that bright. but cars i know, and i like playin with em. everything i've done with em, be it an oil change, or brakes or whatever, there's a sense of completion, that small gratification, that hey i did that, it works cuz i made it work, and it feels good. but they don't listen, or care, it's your gonna regret it. i'm fucking sick of all this shit. months ago, they said they'd help me go back to school. now it's oh instead of paying money to dive right in, why don't you waste a couple hundred and go waste time at fucking oakton. no understanding that i'm mad at the school. because it's no big deal that when i got ASSAULTED they tried to kick ME out. they took the word of a CONVICTED FELON over me. and yeah that situation shouldn't come up again, but still. why should i give those assholes what little money i have, to see if what i want to do is really what i want to do? and they get on me for smoking. shit. i am sick to death of people making me feel like shit, because i'm not living up to what they think i should be.