A letter to a friend (you knwo who you are)

[punkbarbie007]

It’s really hard for me to write this because so much of it what’s going on between us I don’t even understand all the way. We started out hating each other and it seems that lately that’s how we’ve ended up. I’m not fully sure how to start this so I’m just gonna jump right in. We’ve been friends for a while now and I don’t regret a second of it.

Comments

Re: your last post

[punkbarbie007]

A) its not at all about popularity. i hang out with mackenzie and those kinda peopel because threr nice to me not because there popular. i could give a damn about what people think about me and how popular i am i dont see why your dragging that into the picture. B) you said my first post seemed really fake, well got news for ya it wasnt it was exactly what was going through my head. C) no im not making it up but if you do care about how i feel you dont show it very often. D) ok whatever if you wanna go on about all my friends that i would normally never hang out with fine. i hang out with those peopel because threre nice to me and we 'click' no other reason E)ok thats very true you never did get bitchy when i talked about hawaii but i never got botchy when you always go to chichago and when lidnsey and charles wade and all them visit and you tell me all about that. so were even there. yea i was tlaking an=bout hawaii last week (or sometime around then) but you were talking baout lindsey adn charles wade for weeks after it happened too so again were even there. F) i liked being your friend too and i still do that is whats left of our friendship, but when was i mena to your other friends? when was i overcritical? i could go on about your faults too but im not gonnac ause it doesnt make any difference excpet that i feel the same way about us being friends again, you had your faults that bugged me too adn thats part of the reason im hesitant to be friends again. i talked to y mum about it to (ha ha greta minds think alike) and she said the exact same thing, that we shouldnt throw away something like what we had, we knew everything about each other, were so close, were practically attacked at the hip, we were awesome best friends as much as you say you dont have a best friend and i agree i really want us to be friends again, but i think if thats to happen we both have to be more open with each other and not be so critical of each others faults. i could say more but i brned my finger horribly on the glue gun working on mr. harms project and i dont wanna call me if you want to talk abotu anything else i woudl. ttyl
jessie

Re: your last post

[trapt_007]

jess, i don't wanna keep on arguing and picking each other apart. so all i'm gonna say is that lately being with you has been really stressful and i don't need any more stress. i'm not saying that i don't want to keep on being friends, it's just that lately i've been feeling that i have to act like a different person to be accepted around you and your new friends. like when i'm hanging around with jessi and tessie, i don't have to worry about what i'm wearing, what i look like, what i say or do. but when i'm around you i feel like i have to dress perfectly [according to your standards], act certain ways and say the right things [which, to you, i never seem to do cause what was it that you said? o yea... 'beth has no feelings'.] so yea... that's all i really wanted to say, and so i don't want to be the one to draw a line in the sand, but i don't want to be a fake person anymore and if hanging around with you requires that, then i can't do it anymore.
just think about it.
-beth

Re: your last post

[punkbarbie007]

I don't understand what makes you think that you have to act/dress/be perfect when your around me. Since when do ic are how you dress? Yea, I don't like your biking shirt but I don't like Tessie's brown converse either and she doesnt feel like she needs to dres and act perfect around me. i don't get what makes you feel that you have to be different around me because, well, frankly i've noticed that you act differently around me too, and i liked you better when you acted like yourself. Sounds like we both do. i also don't get what new friends i hang out with that your talking about. you said that you feel like you have to act prefect and dress perfect when you hang around with me and my new friends but what new friends are you talking about? You nevr hang out with me when im around Mackenzie or Amanda brown or any of them so...*sighs* I cant handle it anymore, this constant fighting. i just want it to be over and us to be friends again but if you have to act differently around me for some reason then i dont think its gonna work.For the record, i didnt say you had no feelings i sadi you didnt always act liek you did. im sorry fo everything. i cant stand every noight crying so uch im making myself sick anymore. i cant physically do it, i cant handle it anymore. i hope we can forgive each other for everything weve done and be best friends again.
-Jess

Re: your last post

[trapt_007]

Well... one point i've been trying to make is that i don't want to hang around you and your new friends. And i know that last time i said that to you, you got all mad and said that i never gave them a chance or anything. But when i moved here, those were the people who were bitches to me cause i dressed and acted differently or in thier words 'imaturely' because i didn't want to sit around and talk about guys and stuff. They didn't except me for who i was but now i don't care anymore. Cause now i have real friends who are there for me when i need them, they listen to what i have to say and don't make fun of me, they don't care if i want to wear orange and red together or if i don't wear whatever the "newest trend" is, the most important things to them aren't physical apperances and social rankings but how much that person listens to you and tries to understand and overall being the best friend that they can be.
So yea... when you wrote "I cant handle it anymore, this constant fighting" i agree, but then you go on to say "i cant stand every noight crying so uch im making myself sick" and that's when i get pissed off. i feel like ur trying to make me feel guilty and agree with everything your saying. It makes me so mad that i don't even want to read anymore of what you're writing.
I don't really know what's going to happen, but once again i don't want to draw a line in the sand, so i'm not going to say that i don't want to be your friend but i don't want to have to have to deal with all of this... so i don't know.
-beth