(no subject)
Today was ok. I went to see my dad and step-mother's new house for the first time. It's in a very nice neighborhood, but the kind that I would never feel comfortable in. Their house is also really nice, but I would never want a house like that. I could never feel at home there.
So much useless shit. A ridiculously huge entertainment center. A kitchen where every appliance is the same color. Too many lonely rooms. Needlessly high ceilings.
It seems like a very Republican, WASPy neighborhood. I know that's not a very nice thing to say, but it just doesn't seem like my dad belongs there. I know I don't.
But the food was good. Their stuffing and desserts were better than my moms'. It's pretty stupid, going to two Thanksgivings. But my mother's mashed potatos and gravy were far superior than my step-mothers'.
I've also been thinking about college. I was thinking about applying to Georgia State, but the more I think, the more I don't know if I could do it. Required math and science and economics courses? I could never do that shit. I couldn't in high school, so there is no way I could do it in college. I know that I am fairly intelligent, but I could not do that shit.
When I was in high school, I took one math course three times, because I could never pass it. Even the third time, I failed it. I know that part of it may have to do with my insomnia, and my inability to stay awake at school, but even when I was awake, I couldn't do it. That math just killed me. There was only one math course I did well in: Geometry. It was so easy for me. But everything else was impossible.
So that's why I'm doubting if I will go to college. But, I would really like to study photography. God, I don't know what the fuck I am going to do.
I also don't know what I'm going to do about that other problem.
It's getting worse.
Tomorrow I'm working a split shift. So we'll see how that goes. I don't know why I always agree to those. By the end of the day, I just want to kill someone. 11 to 3, 5 to close.
Christ. I just want to get away from all this shit.
So much useless shit. A ridiculously huge entertainment center. A kitchen where every appliance is the same color. Too many lonely rooms. Needlessly high ceilings.
It seems like a very Republican, WASPy neighborhood. I know that's not a very nice thing to say, but it just doesn't seem like my dad belongs there. I know I don't.
But the food was good. Their stuffing and desserts were better than my moms'. It's pretty stupid, going to two Thanksgivings. But my mother's mashed potatos and gravy were far superior than my step-mothers'.
I've also been thinking about college. I was thinking about applying to Georgia State, but the more I think, the more I don't know if I could do it. Required math and science and economics courses? I could never do that shit. I couldn't in high school, so there is no way I could do it in college. I know that I am fairly intelligent, but I could not do that shit.
When I was in high school, I took one math course three times, because I could never pass it. Even the third time, I failed it. I know that part of it may have to do with my insomnia, and my inability to stay awake at school, but even when I was awake, I couldn't do it. That math just killed me. There was only one math course I did well in: Geometry. It was so easy for me. But everything else was impossible.
So that's why I'm doubting if I will go to college. But, I would really like to study photography. God, I don't know what the fuck I am going to do.
I also don't know what I'm going to do about that other problem.
It's getting worse.
Tomorrow I'm working a split shift. So we'll see how that goes. I don't know why I always agree to those. By the end of the day, I just want to kill someone. 11 to 3, 5 to close.
Christ. I just want to get away from all this shit.