Thanksgiving is hard
I listened to This American Life's Thanksgiving special the other day, and I couldn't help but laugh my ass off at Sarah Vowell's account of her family visiting for the holidays. I needed a laugh.
The holidays are particularly hard these days. My brother summed it up pretty well on the phone yesterday, saying that being around other people's happy families just really gets him thinking about all the things he can't have, the things that are missing, the people we've lost. My sister is in about the same frame of mind, but it's even harder for her this year, since she's currently single. Buddy's got a girlfriend, but she lives in Alaska, so that can't be easy. Me, I've got a wonderful woman to spend the holidays with, but we haven't exactly had an easy year. I'm thankful that we're having a quiet holiday. Plus, I'm struggling with family sorrow, just like my brother and sister.
The last time I spoke to my dad was Thanksgiving day 2005. I've mentioned that in previous entries, so I guess I'll leave it at that. Suffice it to say, Thanksgiving isn't easy. In just over a week, we'll be at the second anniversary of his death. Day-to-day life has gotten easier over time, but the holiday season is still a sad one for the three of us.
In the spirit of the season, Liz ordered a bunch of CDs several weeks ago, one of which is Ellis Paul's first "children's CD." We like him enough to be amused by the cheese. And there are a bunch of tracks on it that are really adult-enjoyable too. Anyway, the last track is You Are My Sunshine, in which he sings quietly into the microphone, and he's accompanied by his daughter, who's so young, it sounds like she's still learning to speak, let alone sing. The song came on the other night, just as I was about to prepare some dinner, and I just stopped in my tracks. It was such a beautiful moment, and it brought about such a torrent of emotions that I immediately started crying, with a look on my face that must have been hard to decipher: I was smiling because it was beautiful, but I'm sure I had a furrowed brow or maybe even a grimace of pain. In the bar where the song goes "You make me happy when skies are grey," his baby girl goes "no, blue!" and they have to agree on what color the sky is before they continue. I laughed hysterically because it was so funny, but again...kinda makes me want to call my dad.
The holidays are particularly hard these days. My brother summed it up pretty well on the phone yesterday, saying that being around other people's happy families just really gets him thinking about all the things he can't have, the things that are missing, the people we've lost. My sister is in about the same frame of mind, but it's even harder for her this year, since she's currently single. Buddy's got a girlfriend, but she lives in Alaska, so that can't be easy. Me, I've got a wonderful woman to spend the holidays with, but we haven't exactly had an easy year. I'm thankful that we're having a quiet holiday. Plus, I'm struggling with family sorrow, just like my brother and sister.
The last time I spoke to my dad was Thanksgiving day 2005. I've mentioned that in previous entries, so I guess I'll leave it at that. Suffice it to say, Thanksgiving isn't easy. In just over a week, we'll be at the second anniversary of his death. Day-to-day life has gotten easier over time, but the holiday season is still a sad one for the three of us.
In the spirit of the season, Liz ordered a bunch of CDs several weeks ago, one of which is Ellis Paul's first "children's CD." We like him enough to be amused by the cheese. And there are a bunch of tracks on it that are really adult-enjoyable too. Anyway, the last track is You Are My Sunshine, in which he sings quietly into the microphone, and he's accompanied by his daughter, who's so young, it sounds like she's still learning to speak, let alone sing. The song came on the other night, just as I was about to prepare some dinner, and I just stopped in my tracks. It was such a beautiful moment, and it brought about such a torrent of emotions that I immediately started crying, with a look on my face that must have been hard to decipher: I was smiling because it was beautiful, but I'm sure I had a furrowed brow or maybe even a grimace of pain. In the bar where the song goes "You make me happy when skies are grey," his baby girl goes "no, blue!" and they have to agree on what color the sky is before they continue. I laughed hysterically because it was so funny, but again...kinda makes me want to call my dad.