old is new

[punkass_l]

be it discomfort, be it pain
there's this gnawing feeling
in the pits of my stomach
it never quite goes away
like a memory with you involved
or the end of our time together
never quite resolved
and no matter how much i've evolved
or how far you've dissolved
you exist in a world
from time to time
when i close my eyes
we carry on and experience life
as if a reality
and if my subconscious experiences so
then that is my reality with you
we still live our lives together
we still have each other
"it's a new day, it's a dawn, it's a new life..."
as he sings, as they say
me, it's a new decade, no more demon days
hoping for no more change
but making, better change
it's a new life
"...and i'm feeling good"
i see more of you around
encircling in my mind
i'd like to figure why
maybe because you've been here before
been through thirty years of change
all that is life i've survived past most
more deserving more wise
i don't yet know what this all means
or if the lessons i'm to take away
are merely excuses to feel better, move on
and not destroy a life mostly unlived
i've chosen to let the fires burn all around me
while i see pass the smoke this time
instead of meddling with my hands
and letting it cloud over
the only thing that consumes me
is my reality and that reality of you
let it be if signs speak of no return
of dear ones with broken connections
but most i need to close
is the right to anyone's life
except for mine
yours i have to earn
the grace i mistook for having
i will need to find and relearn