daybreak
everyday, i am reminded to feel all that is and should be life, to feel alive. but the other day, i was reminded of just how to do that when feeling down. when i feel alone, i should go to it. welcome it, entertain it, declare it. wander to a place with no intent. lay on my back and sink into the earth, be one with nature. there is desire to go where my surroundings are as quiet as my mood. leave the "world" behind. no cell phones. no backpack. no food. hours. days. it may take some time to realize, but there is something special in that silence.
in stillness, there is life.
i would open my eyes to a seemingly blank canvas of blue sky. what became of a vacant stare eventually turned into closer examinations, revealing its slightly off-coloured blemishes in a corner, with clouds drifting in and out across the frame. there is beauty in imperfection, i thought. tilt my head forward to the rise and fall of the waves, their activity unaffecting just hours before, only with the thought to walk towards it and let it do its work in washing me away. the tides had crawled with my eyes shut, surprises, reached out and touched me as i curled my toes, as if to say hello, "did you feel that?". and there would be rustling in the trees, birds returning home, or wind whispering in my ear. in a distance, maybe a single mother watching her two kids ride a skinny boat with their imaginations, and paddle the water with bare hands. in their distance, they saw armies of boats and enemies, and they stood up to fight knowing full well their boat would capsize. the log did overturn, and they fell in, damp and in a fit of laughing cries. they fought, even in pretend. out here, it may become darker. lonelier. or colder. but none of these would stir any sort of reaction. nothing would matter until i was finally ready to open my eyes to everything. and in the moment when i realized it was dark, i looked behind me to where the sun had already set, where yesterday had already set, only to reaffirm that tomorrow will rise again. all i have to do is simply look forward.
there are no maybe's or if's, the properties of nature and their "choices" make themselves up as definites. they are about the only thing we can count and rely on as being true. strangely, i had to leave the "world" behind, just to be able to reimmerse myself in it. after that sunset, i chose to get up and walk back into it, into life. i wanted to be a better person. and realized that what defines a person is not in our abilities, capabilites, potential, or who we wish to be someday. but rather, it is the choices we make today that define who we are. and we have to own every choice we make.
in stillness, there is life.
i would open my eyes to a seemingly blank canvas of blue sky. what became of a vacant stare eventually turned into closer examinations, revealing its slightly off-coloured blemishes in a corner, with clouds drifting in and out across the frame. there is beauty in imperfection, i thought. tilt my head forward to the rise and fall of the waves, their activity unaffecting just hours before, only with the thought to walk towards it and let it do its work in washing me away. the tides had crawled with my eyes shut, surprises, reached out and touched me as i curled my toes, as if to say hello, "did you feel that?". and there would be rustling in the trees, birds returning home, or wind whispering in my ear. in a distance, maybe a single mother watching her two kids ride a skinny boat with their imaginations, and paddle the water with bare hands. in their distance, they saw armies of boats and enemies, and they stood up to fight knowing full well their boat would capsize. the log did overturn, and they fell in, damp and in a fit of laughing cries. they fought, even in pretend. out here, it may become darker. lonelier. or colder. but none of these would stir any sort of reaction. nothing would matter until i was finally ready to open my eyes to everything. and in the moment when i realized it was dark, i looked behind me to where the sun had already set, where yesterday had already set, only to reaffirm that tomorrow will rise again. all i have to do is simply look forward.
there are no maybe's or if's, the properties of nature and their "choices" make themselves up as definites. they are about the only thing we can count and rely on as being true. strangely, i had to leave the "world" behind, just to be able to reimmerse myself in it. after that sunset, i chose to get up and walk back into it, into life. i wanted to be a better person. and realized that what defines a person is not in our abilities, capabilites, potential, or who we wish to be someday. but rather, it is the choices we make today that define who we are. and we have to own every choice we make.