27
my 27th year has been consistent.
it is teaching me one important thing about myself.
the weight of this one thing, brings all of the past and future into question.
my 27th year tells me that my love, is and has always been, conditional.
this revelation surprises me very much.
all these years i tricked myself into believing i was a better person than that.
i suppose i've never been challenged quite this life-altering-way before, for me to realize it sooner.
perhaps unconditional love was just something to strive towards, something pretty to sell about myself.
clearly, i am failing when i'm not even buying it.
learning this, over and over again, makes me so sad and depressed.
1. if all the love i have is conditional, is that even considered, love?
2. if it's not love, what is it then that i have, or have left?... had, or will have?
3. will i have "it" again, since what i had is being redefined?
it is teaching me one important thing about myself.
the weight of this one thing, brings all of the past and future into question.
my 27th year tells me that my love, is and has always been, conditional.
this revelation surprises me very much.
all these years i tricked myself into believing i was a better person than that.
i suppose i've never been challenged quite this life-altering-way before, for me to realize it sooner.
perhaps unconditional love was just something to strive towards, something pretty to sell about myself.
clearly, i am failing when i'm not even buying it.
learning this, over and over again, makes me so sad and depressed.
1. if all the love i have is conditional, is that even considered, love?
2. if it's not love, what is it then that i have, or have left?... had, or will have?
3. will i have "it" again, since what i had is being redefined?