My Tribute to Efren
Sadly, I do not remember everything about Efren Najera, but what I do remember has been so special to me. Efren died so young, but he lived a fulfilling life. The countless people that knew Efren paid their respects, marking their posts with RIP. I chose to interpret that not as 'Rest in Peace', but rather as 'Rest in Party', because he never had a dull moment. His name really fits him, it means fruitful.
I met Efren at the yurt in Smugglers Notch, Vermont while I was there on vacation from August 11th-18th 2007. Sadly, I was very shy and because of that, Efren and I were not as close as we could have been. That and, I had a boyfriend, so I did not allow myself to get close to him. We mainly hung out at night, either in the yurt, at the Sycamore lounge, or wherever we came across each other. Every time I saw Efren, he made me laugh and smile, in fact, he made it his mission to make me smile 24/7. Not everyone was as respectful as Efren in Vermont. He became my knight in shining armor when midget man hit on me. Efren made him back off and leave me alone. We watched Disturbia together in the yurt. He kept jumping up and scaring me during the boring parts, but he held me during the frightening ones. He had so many crazy stories to tell, like about getting into fights and how he got shot. He told me about his motorcycle accident when a woman flung open her car door. He smashed into it and slid across the road, losing the skin on his shins and knees. Efren was the most hardcore person I know. He told Darcy to punch him in the stomach so she did; he joked around saying Im ready when are you going to do it. He was such a jack of all trades. He owned at pool, I made him help me out. We played ping pong and pool at the Sycamore lounge almost every night. He always had music playing, as if it was his own background music like in a movie. That and he was always drinking. He mixed his rum with cranberry juice so it wouldn't be on camera. And he kept stealing midget man's drink.
Smuggs hosted a movie night and local bands concert at a ski lodge one night. It was the same night I had a concussion, so Efren took care of me and made sure I was alright. We saw Boondock Saints, it was amazing. The bands were okay, despite my headache. Efren was so amusing with his head-banging, I couldn't stop laughing. I wore the same tank top a few times that week, because Efren really liked it. The fancy black one that makes my boobs look big with red, maroon, beige, and white oval spots. What I remember the most is our last night hanging out. We were at Sycamores and I still felt dizzy from my concussion. He gave me the best back massage and told midget man to leave me alone. It was somewhat of a short night though, because I had to leave early in the morning. I felt tired and weak, so Efren carried me to my car in his arms, all romantic style. His arms were so big and comforting and safe. We hugged goodbye for the last time that night. We lingered there for a while as he whispered in my ear, "Never stop smiling for me Carollynn". That was the last time I saw him.
We only had a week together in person, and I wish I took more advantage of that time. I let my shyness and insecurities get the best of me, when I could have partied it up more with Efren. I have learned that time is short, and most of the people you meet you will not have a chance to see all of the time. So make the biggest impact you can and get to know them. Thats what Efren lived by, and all of those people that commented his facebook, joined the remembrance groups, stopped by the memorial ceremony and shed tears are proof of that.
After that one week in Vermont, Efren found me on facebook a couple of months later. Since then, Efren and I spoke almost every night, either online or over the phone. We talked about everything imaginable, from ourselves to random topics that popped in our heads. He was one of the very few people that I opened myself up to, in fact, I did not keep anything from him. I could tell him the most trivial matters, and those that truly affected me. Im usually guarded and cannot let people see who I am, but this was not the case with Efren. I could trust him. He made me feel safe, even though he was 3 1/2 hours away. If we did not meet up online, either Efren would call me, or I would give him a ring. Sometimes one of us was too busy to talk, so we would call later when we got home. We would talk late into the night and I wouldn't get much sleep, but it was worth it.
If you asked me what we talked about, I doubt I could tell you. I do remember a few stories he told me though, about wrestling with his uncle, and going to a Taking Back Sunday concert so he could beat up emo kids. I couldn't stop laughing. I went drinking a couple of times, and I called Efren when I got home. I felt like he could relate best and I was not tired. I think the conversations consisted mainly of us laughing in the receiver. The conversations were so random, but I loved them. We did not have to be talking about anything in particular, just hearing Efren's voice and his laugh was enough. We jokingly made fun of each other all the time. Efren was the big teddy bear and I was his fun size mature girl, which is ironic because my name means little womanly one. But apparently, my petiteness was perfect for him. If I was asleep when he called, Efren would leave either a voice message or text on my phone, telling me he misses me and to say goodnight and he loves me and that Im cute. He was one of the few people I let call me love and babe and cutie. It just sounded so right coming from him. He texted me for every holiday too, even the minor ones. I loved it, I felt so special. Efren left me messages on facebook when he got home really late and did not want to wake me. He never forgot. I think he truly cared about me.
The more Efren and I talked, the more we got to know each other, and the closer we got. I still have the message he left me on November 9th. It said, "So like yea. Im in love wit you since like smuggs n I cant wait to see you!!!!! how this works out =D <333's". I was so shocked when I read the message, because before then I did not realize that I do love Efren. He always cheered me up when I was upset. If I had a problem with someone, he said he would scare them and kick their ass. One time, I was absolutely depressed and crying, and I needed someone to talk to. Efren was there for me. I was afraid that I would freak him out, but I got the opposite effect. He told me that he wished he was here with me so that he could hold and comfort me and let me cry on his shoulder. I have not really had that before. Boyfriends felt obligated to comfort me, and friends just felt awkward. Efren just seemed right. I let my guard down around Efren, and I never got hurt for it. I let him see me, and not my façade. I ended up telling Efren all about myself, embarrassing moments and all. He knew all about my blankie, my polar bear and snow globe fetishes, my fear of the dark and scary movies, my dorky attitudes, and our similarity of terrible knees. There is nothing that I kept from him. I can absolutely say, that Efren was the definition of the perfect guy. He was respectful but fun at the same time. Serious when needed to be, but full of life. We flirted all of the time and speculated what could happen if we lived closer.
Efren was supposed to visit for a few days before New Years Ever. However, he could not get off work. I was really upset that he could not come and told him so. But I quickly forgave him, knowing he would come see me if he could. So we decided he would come for February break, no matter what. He was going to tell his bosses in the beginning of February. We were going to play in the snow and go hiking. Go to parties and go clubbing. He was going to come down in June to take me to prom. I could not think of anyone I would rather be my date. We were going to draw each other, yea he's an artist too. Too bad he never got to see my amazing representation of him. When Efren heard that my top college is Tufts University, he was happy. If I ended up going there, we could see each other all of the time, and who knows, maybe we would have ended up together. I do not have any photos with him because I never had my camera with me in Vermont. So we were going to fill my memory card with pictures of us. Before he visited, he was going to have to get me a snow globe. I told him he would not be able to come if he did not bring one, but I would have just been ecstatic to see him. We loved each other, and I felt like I knew everything about him. Now I am not so sure.
I wish I had a chance to get to know Efren better. I learned so much about him, not just what he enjoys to do, but who he really is. I could have known more if we had more time. I cannot remember everything, but what I do remember is amazing. He loved weird movies, like Edward Scissorhands, and music was his thing. Almost any kind of music. It followed him around. He dressed for himself. He did not care what others thought about it, as long as he liked it. He always had a hat and sunglasses, even in the dark. Usually they were these colorful fun glasses too. There were these pants, they were orange and red plaid/ checkered. But he always pulled it off. He was such a bright person, just like his favorite colors: hot pink, royal blue, and lime green. Efren was always around the action, maybe because he lived so close to Boston, in Acton. But I think he created the fun. It came to him. He was always doing something, BMXing, skateboarding, going to shows, playing guitar and bass. He was always eating, good thing he was an amazing cook too. He danced all the time, on his own or in a club. He partied, went camping, and loved animals. He was a big guy, the sweetest. No matter how cold it was, Efren was comfortable, he called himself warm blooded. He said he would send me his heat so I wouldn't be cold. Efren was only a year and two days older than me, but in the same grade. His birthday was June 23, 1989.
I love Efren, and he loved me too. I do not know if he told anyone about me, or what else he thought. But he was special. There is a quote on his facebook that really helps me out right now. It states, "I know it seems hard sometimes but remember one thing. Through every dark night, there's a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it gets, stick your chest out, keep your head up, and handle it". His death is tragic, and I do not know if I can ever completely get over it, but he is right. I have to remember the positive side, he was an amazing person, and I am better for knowing him. I read a message he had left me when I was upset, and it hurts. He said, "I will always be here for you, if not physically, at least emotionally and to talk to." I know I can never see him again. But remembering him, and how much he enjoyed life is a comfort. I have been more religious since he died. I believe in heaven more, and he is up there. He is helping all of us, because that is the kind of guy he is. That is why I love Efren, more than a friend.
I met Efren at the yurt in Smugglers Notch, Vermont while I was there on vacation from August 11th-18th 2007. Sadly, I was very shy and because of that, Efren and I were not as close as we could have been. That and, I had a boyfriend, so I did not allow myself to get close to him. We mainly hung out at night, either in the yurt, at the Sycamore lounge, or wherever we came across each other. Every time I saw Efren, he made me laugh and smile, in fact, he made it his mission to make me smile 24/7. Not everyone was as respectful as Efren in Vermont. He became my knight in shining armor when midget man hit on me. Efren made him back off and leave me alone. We watched Disturbia together in the yurt. He kept jumping up and scaring me during the boring parts, but he held me during the frightening ones. He had so many crazy stories to tell, like about getting into fights and how he got shot. He told me about his motorcycle accident when a woman flung open her car door. He smashed into it and slid across the road, losing the skin on his shins and knees. Efren was the most hardcore person I know. He told Darcy to punch him in the stomach so she did; he joked around saying Im ready when are you going to do it. He was such a jack of all trades. He owned at pool, I made him help me out. We played ping pong and pool at the Sycamore lounge almost every night. He always had music playing, as if it was his own background music like in a movie. That and he was always drinking. He mixed his rum with cranberry juice so it wouldn't be on camera. And he kept stealing midget man's drink.
Smuggs hosted a movie night and local bands concert at a ski lodge one night. It was the same night I had a concussion, so Efren took care of me and made sure I was alright. We saw Boondock Saints, it was amazing. The bands were okay, despite my headache. Efren was so amusing with his head-banging, I couldn't stop laughing. I wore the same tank top a few times that week, because Efren really liked it. The fancy black one that makes my boobs look big with red, maroon, beige, and white oval spots. What I remember the most is our last night hanging out. We were at Sycamores and I still felt dizzy from my concussion. He gave me the best back massage and told midget man to leave me alone. It was somewhat of a short night though, because I had to leave early in the morning. I felt tired and weak, so Efren carried me to my car in his arms, all romantic style. His arms were so big and comforting and safe. We hugged goodbye for the last time that night. We lingered there for a while as he whispered in my ear, "Never stop smiling for me Carollynn". That was the last time I saw him.
We only had a week together in person, and I wish I took more advantage of that time. I let my shyness and insecurities get the best of me, when I could have partied it up more with Efren. I have learned that time is short, and most of the people you meet you will not have a chance to see all of the time. So make the biggest impact you can and get to know them. Thats what Efren lived by, and all of those people that commented his facebook, joined the remembrance groups, stopped by the memorial ceremony and shed tears are proof of that.
After that one week in Vermont, Efren found me on facebook a couple of months later. Since then, Efren and I spoke almost every night, either online or over the phone. We talked about everything imaginable, from ourselves to random topics that popped in our heads. He was one of the very few people that I opened myself up to, in fact, I did not keep anything from him. I could tell him the most trivial matters, and those that truly affected me. Im usually guarded and cannot let people see who I am, but this was not the case with Efren. I could trust him. He made me feel safe, even though he was 3 1/2 hours away. If we did not meet up online, either Efren would call me, or I would give him a ring. Sometimes one of us was too busy to talk, so we would call later when we got home. We would talk late into the night and I wouldn't get much sleep, but it was worth it.
If you asked me what we talked about, I doubt I could tell you. I do remember a few stories he told me though, about wrestling with his uncle, and going to a Taking Back Sunday concert so he could beat up emo kids. I couldn't stop laughing. I went drinking a couple of times, and I called Efren when I got home. I felt like he could relate best and I was not tired. I think the conversations consisted mainly of us laughing in the receiver. The conversations were so random, but I loved them. We did not have to be talking about anything in particular, just hearing Efren's voice and his laugh was enough. We jokingly made fun of each other all the time. Efren was the big teddy bear and I was his fun size mature girl, which is ironic because my name means little womanly one. But apparently, my petiteness was perfect for him. If I was asleep when he called, Efren would leave either a voice message or text on my phone, telling me he misses me and to say goodnight and he loves me and that Im cute. He was one of the few people I let call me love and babe and cutie. It just sounded so right coming from him. He texted me for every holiday too, even the minor ones. I loved it, I felt so special. Efren left me messages on facebook when he got home really late and did not want to wake me. He never forgot. I think he truly cared about me.
The more Efren and I talked, the more we got to know each other, and the closer we got. I still have the message he left me on November 9th. It said, "So like yea. Im in love wit you since like smuggs n I cant wait to see you!!!!! how this works out =D <333's". I was so shocked when I read the message, because before then I did not realize that I do love Efren. He always cheered me up when I was upset. If I had a problem with someone, he said he would scare them and kick their ass. One time, I was absolutely depressed and crying, and I needed someone to talk to. Efren was there for me. I was afraid that I would freak him out, but I got the opposite effect. He told me that he wished he was here with me so that he could hold and comfort me and let me cry on his shoulder. I have not really had that before. Boyfriends felt obligated to comfort me, and friends just felt awkward. Efren just seemed right. I let my guard down around Efren, and I never got hurt for it. I let him see me, and not my façade. I ended up telling Efren all about myself, embarrassing moments and all. He knew all about my blankie, my polar bear and snow globe fetishes, my fear of the dark and scary movies, my dorky attitudes, and our similarity of terrible knees. There is nothing that I kept from him. I can absolutely say, that Efren was the definition of the perfect guy. He was respectful but fun at the same time. Serious when needed to be, but full of life. We flirted all of the time and speculated what could happen if we lived closer.
Efren was supposed to visit for a few days before New Years Ever. However, he could not get off work. I was really upset that he could not come and told him so. But I quickly forgave him, knowing he would come see me if he could. So we decided he would come for February break, no matter what. He was going to tell his bosses in the beginning of February. We were going to play in the snow and go hiking. Go to parties and go clubbing. He was going to come down in June to take me to prom. I could not think of anyone I would rather be my date. We were going to draw each other, yea he's an artist too. Too bad he never got to see my amazing representation of him. When Efren heard that my top college is Tufts University, he was happy. If I ended up going there, we could see each other all of the time, and who knows, maybe we would have ended up together. I do not have any photos with him because I never had my camera with me in Vermont. So we were going to fill my memory card with pictures of us. Before he visited, he was going to have to get me a snow globe. I told him he would not be able to come if he did not bring one, but I would have just been ecstatic to see him. We loved each other, and I felt like I knew everything about him. Now I am not so sure.
I wish I had a chance to get to know Efren better. I learned so much about him, not just what he enjoys to do, but who he really is. I could have known more if we had more time. I cannot remember everything, but what I do remember is amazing. He loved weird movies, like Edward Scissorhands, and music was his thing. Almost any kind of music. It followed him around. He dressed for himself. He did not care what others thought about it, as long as he liked it. He always had a hat and sunglasses, even in the dark. Usually they were these colorful fun glasses too. There were these pants, they were orange and red plaid/ checkered. But he always pulled it off. He was such a bright person, just like his favorite colors: hot pink, royal blue, and lime green. Efren was always around the action, maybe because he lived so close to Boston, in Acton. But I think he created the fun. It came to him. He was always doing something, BMXing, skateboarding, going to shows, playing guitar and bass. He was always eating, good thing he was an amazing cook too. He danced all the time, on his own or in a club. He partied, went camping, and loved animals. He was a big guy, the sweetest. No matter how cold it was, Efren was comfortable, he called himself warm blooded. He said he would send me his heat so I wouldn't be cold. Efren was only a year and two days older than me, but in the same grade. His birthday was June 23, 1989.
I love Efren, and he loved me too. I do not know if he told anyone about me, or what else he thought. But he was special. There is a quote on his facebook that really helps me out right now. It states, "I know it seems hard sometimes but remember one thing. Through every dark night, there's a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it gets, stick your chest out, keep your head up, and handle it". His death is tragic, and I do not know if I can ever completely get over it, but he is right. I have to remember the positive side, he was an amazing person, and I am better for knowing him. I read a message he had left me when I was upset, and it hurts. He said, "I will always be here for you, if not physically, at least emotionally and to talk to." I know I can never see him again. But remembering him, and how much he enjoyed life is a comfort. I have been more religious since he died. I believe in heaven more, and he is up there. He is helping all of us, because that is the kind of guy he is. That is why I love Efren, more than a friend.