Ef's Memorial/ Wake
Theres so much more i want to write, but ill leave it at this for now. I drew a picture for Efren's father, Efren Sr. Najera. Its posted below, so is the back with the message I wrote. The message states,
"Dear Efren's family,
Although I have only known Efren since this past summer, we were very close. We could only have been closer if we did not live 3 1/2 hours apart. We talked all of the time, either online or over the phone. Efren always cheered me up; I found it impossible not to smile while talking to him. He never failed to find a bright side in a bad situation. He had this fun-loving charismatic way about him that I adore. I admire that Efren allowed himself to take advantage of the life he had and enjoy every second of it. I doubt he ever had any regrets; he was too busy making people laugh to worry about that. It was Efren that coaxed me out of my shell, and made me open up to people. For that, I am grateful. When we met in Vermont, Efren made it his mission to make me smile. I remember the last thing he said as we hugged goodbye, "Never stop smiling for me Carollynn," and I never will. Efren is the most amazing friend I could ask for. i have never met anyone like him, and I never will, he is truly a one of a kind. I whole-heartedly love Efren, and I will miss him dearly. He is forever in my heart.
With love,
Carollynn M. Goldenberg"
It was a long trip, especially since we had to pick up Josh too. It was a little over 3 1/2 hours. Mom drove there and I drove home. I felt so awkward when we got there, because I did not know anyone other than those that came with me, mom, Josh, and Amanda. There were posters displaying pictures of Efren, both from facebook, and older photos. And in the main room, there was a a slideshow. It was so depressing. Then I noticed the casket, and I broke down. It was the first time that I allowed myself to let out my emotions out. Until today, it didnt feel real. I kept expecting it to be a joke. A cruel and horrible joke. I started to cry, and i couldnt stop. It welled up inside of me as I walked closer to him laying there. He just looked all wrong. He was stiff in his puffed up suit. Its not him. He looked so amazing, but it wasnt right. Hes so comfortable and layed back, he shouldnt have to wear a suit like that, not yet. hes supposed to have prom and his wedding first. He was supposed to go to prom with me. I prayed for a while, kneeling there. When I finally got up, I couldnt see through the tears. I felt so vulnerable, dabbing at my face with tissues. My mom and amanda tried to comfort me with a hug. It helped a little, but its so hard. I could tell they were upset too, but Im devastated. Efren and I were so close, I love him more than a friend. Well after i got myself under as much control as I could muster, I made my way to Efren's father. I gave him the portrait I made, he was soo impressed. Especially since i drew it in such short notice. The woman, Pearl, that contacted me on facebook was there with him. I think shes Mr. Najera's girlfriend or something. She adored the picture as well. He asked how we knew Efren, and i told him that i met him over the summer, but im from New York. He was surprised that we had come so far to see his son. I pointed out that Efren is such an amazing person, and everyone he met was drawn to him. We chatted for a little bit. Then I expressed my condolences, and we hugged goodbye. He seems like such a nice man. I cried some more after that. I couldnt help myself. Pearl put my picture on display in the front of the room. I hope it expresses how much i care for Efren. Well Ill write more later.
"Dear Efren's family,
Although I have only known Efren since this past summer, we were very close. We could only have been closer if we did not live 3 1/2 hours apart. We talked all of the time, either online or over the phone. Efren always cheered me up; I found it impossible not to smile while talking to him. He never failed to find a bright side in a bad situation. He had this fun-loving charismatic way about him that I adore. I admire that Efren allowed himself to take advantage of the life he had and enjoy every second of it. I doubt he ever had any regrets; he was too busy making people laugh to worry about that. It was Efren that coaxed me out of my shell, and made me open up to people. For that, I am grateful. When we met in Vermont, Efren made it his mission to make me smile. I remember the last thing he said as we hugged goodbye, "Never stop smiling for me Carollynn," and I never will. Efren is the most amazing friend I could ask for. i have never met anyone like him, and I never will, he is truly a one of a kind. I whole-heartedly love Efren, and I will miss him dearly. He is forever in my heart.
With love,
Carollynn M. Goldenberg"
It was a long trip, especially since we had to pick up Josh too. It was a little over 3 1/2 hours. Mom drove there and I drove home. I felt so awkward when we got there, because I did not know anyone other than those that came with me, mom, Josh, and Amanda. There were posters displaying pictures of Efren, both from facebook, and older photos. And in the main room, there was a a slideshow. It was so depressing. Then I noticed the casket, and I broke down. It was the first time that I allowed myself to let out my emotions out. Until today, it didnt feel real. I kept expecting it to be a joke. A cruel and horrible joke. I started to cry, and i couldnt stop. It welled up inside of me as I walked closer to him laying there. He just looked all wrong. He was stiff in his puffed up suit. Its not him. He looked so amazing, but it wasnt right. Hes so comfortable and layed back, he shouldnt have to wear a suit like that, not yet. hes supposed to have prom and his wedding first. He was supposed to go to prom with me. I prayed for a while, kneeling there. When I finally got up, I couldnt see through the tears. I felt so vulnerable, dabbing at my face with tissues. My mom and amanda tried to comfort me with a hug. It helped a little, but its so hard. I could tell they were upset too, but Im devastated. Efren and I were so close, I love him more than a friend. Well after i got myself under as much control as I could muster, I made my way to Efren's father. I gave him the portrait I made, he was soo impressed. Especially since i drew it in such short notice. The woman, Pearl, that contacted me on facebook was there with him. I think shes Mr. Najera's girlfriend or something. She adored the picture as well. He asked how we knew Efren, and i told him that i met him over the summer, but im from New York. He was surprised that we had come so far to see his son. I pointed out that Efren is such an amazing person, and everyone he met was drawn to him. We chatted for a little bit. Then I expressed my condolences, and we hugged goodbye. He seems like such a nice man. I cried some more after that. I couldnt help myself. Pearl put my picture on display in the front of the room. I hope it expresses how much i care for Efren. Well Ill write more later.
