iiiiiiii want to sink my teeth into you
Andrew: So you're the famous Tony, huh?
Tony Primo: Yeah, who are you?
A: I'm Andrew, the new cashier.
TP: Cut your fuckin' hair, you look ridiculous.
So I've been able to go from zero to caffeine junkie in just two days. I now am the morning/afternoon "cashier with personality" at Caffe Primo, a restaurant that could be likened to Urth Cafe's Italian methamphetamine-addict cousin. Every item on the menu is no less than three times the quality of its Urth Uquivalent, which means panninis, frittatas, crazy delicious salads, soups, gelato, pastries, cookies, and coffee.
And ohhhhh, the coffee. I get free unlimited brewed coffee (and we always have two going at a time), and I'm required to taste each batch I brew. I brew two batches in an hour, which means by 4:05 PM today I was over-revved rotary engine manic. The caffeine high hasn't subsided yet, and I'm a little concerned that I won't be able to sleep as early as I'd hoped. My shifts start at 7:30 AM, which means I'm up at six, so I definitely need my beauty sleep.
I was standing outside Equinox (Hollywood's most exclusive gym) handing out coupons for half-off on a smoothie for a good hour today. Most people were very excited to take one, but two people stood out as definite party poopers. One certain Fred Savage responded with "No no no, I'm alright, thanks!" -- at least he was honest and semi-polite. Frankie Muniz, on the other hand (whose left arm is now covered in tattoos), said "I'm just going to run into the gym, I'll be right out". He was not right out. Yesterday, I served coffee to Kurt Russel. He sucks.
There was a funny incident at the caffe today. I was talking to a thirty-something year old hispanic man outside the gym, who works for the company who owns all the land the caffe, gym, and other things are on. His job is to water the cement. He was doing so at 8:30 AM, and still at 1:30 when I went out again. At about 2:00 PM, the following conversation transpired:
Man: Who's that nigger who works at your place?
Andrew: Huh? Who?
M: I don't know what she is, she looks half black half and half chinese, but damn is she fiiiiiiiine.
A: Oh, I know who you're talking about! I saw her once when I was applying there, she is pretty hot.
M: Yeah bro, let me know when she works --
A: Sure thing!
I then went back to the caffe. Five minutes later, the aforementioned girl walked up to the counter and started up with me:
Black: Wow, and who are you?
Andrew: Andrew [extends hand], what's your name?
B: My name's ****** (I have no idea what her name was), but I just stopped shaking hands because I saw your buddy Alex go number two without washing his hands.
A: Well that's your loss, not mine. I have coffee to brew, you're waiting on a sandwich.
B: What time are you working until?
A: Three thirty.
B: Oh damn that sucks, I don't start until four thirty!
A: ...
B: You're really interesting, I wanted to get to know you!
A: 'kay...
B: Well -- uh, I gotta run. I'll be back though, wait for me!
A: Sure thing!
No, I didn't wait for the chocolate-faced girl. Who thought I would? Even my managers were rolling their eyes and making jokes afterwards.
I was going to keep writing, but I suddenly had the impulse to clean my room instead. C'est la vie!
