from now on, I'm never erasing a sentence or changing structure again
I saw Reel Big Fish tonight! I met Aaron Barrett (lead singer) at Starbucks earlier in the day, and he signed my coffee cup. He also made a lot of faces at me throughout the show, which was plenty cool. I haven't liked the band in a very long time, and still kind of don't -- the part of me that doesn't has a lot to do with the fact that for the first third of the set Aaron seemed (at least to me) to be hating every second of it, and fighting nonverbally and passively with the other band members. Despite this, their performance is something incredible. Musically it is tremendously tight, all hooks exaggerated in a very "damn, this is entirely too catchy to listen to more than once every six years" kind of way. I attended the show with Richard and Jessica (who understandably left during Streetlight Manifesto's set) -- the opening acts were Westbound Train, followed by Suburban Legends.
Argh, a little frustrated. I feel I'm losing control of myself again. I want to add that ska music (at least third wave), despite it being immensely immature, thoughtless and ultimately devoid of genuine substance, is wonderfully happy and full of positive energy. That's how every single band was tonight, and I at least could appreciate that even if every single song was a ho-hum, 4/4 two-tone beat.
New paragraph just because I'm trying to separate myself from myself once more. I had a really really amazing conversation tonight, that if I'm lucky could change my life permanently. I'm really interested in mentally ill people, including the very mild to the functionlessly severe, and I'm finding over and over again that they have just so much to offer in terms of being unique and amazingly self-actualized (or at least being on the path). I also had an amazing conversation yesterday and may be participating in a little journal of sorts documenting bipolar manic experiences. Unrelated, I find it actually sickening that people (of both sexes) find me much more attractive when I am in a more hypomanic state. It's really a little like being God, because you have to be a really good person in order to effectively (and let me add, temporarily) live with having everything you want in your world at your fingertips. It's totally do-able though, and I say it's healthier than allowing to be completely taken control of.
Every time I glance at the time it is significantly later than the last time I checked (usually at least twenty minutes), and I've slept very little in the past few days. I'm going to be good to myself and try to sleep.
My life right now feels like a maze with invisible walls that are only a barrier to me and nobody else. Nobody else can see them unless they closely follow me, and I can't see the endpoint of the maze because I'm surrounded by walls. On the more optimistic flipside, I'm feeling out every passageway in a remarkably (especially to me) quick manner, and I genuinely think I'm going to find my way out for good this time. Of course, maybe I'm just delusional. But I don't think so!
Argh, a little frustrated. I feel I'm losing control of myself again. I want to add that ska music (at least third wave), despite it being immensely immature, thoughtless and ultimately devoid of genuine substance, is wonderfully happy and full of positive energy. That's how every single band was tonight, and I at least could appreciate that even if every single song was a ho-hum, 4/4 two-tone beat.
New paragraph just because I'm trying to separate myself from myself once more. I had a really really amazing conversation tonight, that if I'm lucky could change my life permanently. I'm really interested in mentally ill people, including the very mild to the functionlessly severe, and I'm finding over and over again that they have just so much to offer in terms of being unique and amazingly self-actualized (or at least being on the path). I also had an amazing conversation yesterday and may be participating in a little journal of sorts documenting bipolar manic experiences. Unrelated, I find it actually sickening that people (of both sexes) find me much more attractive when I am in a more hypomanic state. It's really a little like being God, because you have to be a really good person in order to effectively (and let me add, temporarily) live with having everything you want in your world at your fingertips. It's totally do-able though, and I say it's healthier than allowing to be completely taken control of.
Every time I glance at the time it is significantly later than the last time I checked (usually at least twenty minutes), and I've slept very little in the past few days. I'm going to be good to myself and try to sleep.
My life right now feels like a maze with invisible walls that are only a barrier to me and nobody else. Nobody else can see them unless they closely follow me, and I can't see the endpoint of the maze because I'm surrounded by walls. On the more optimistic flipside, I'm feeling out every passageway in a remarkably (especially to me) quick manner, and I genuinely think I'm going to find my way out for good this time. Of course, maybe I'm just delusional. But I don't think so!