Valentine's Day Without You
I want to find this love to let me go. I want to carry it beside my dreams as a reality --a truth. I want to be whatever you have for me, not the world. I want to hope and believe and know. I want to be with you beyond all suffering, beyond all pain, inside the joy.
I want to kiss you, breathe in the laughter, live the best surrender of all: the one I taste so sweetly with you. I want to feel your fingers pushed up again my own, fitting into the spaces between so perfectly, matching up the lines. I want to watch the stars with you by my side, dance the kitchen with you in my arms. I want to be with you.
But today, those things seem far away: farther than the ocean or your hands or my past. They are an eternity of hellos and goodbyes. Today, I'm left to wonder that I ever survived the distance at all because without you I'm confused. Today, I'd like to dream, but I'm lost in a space of gray, fading into the earth. I'm dusty; I'm alone. I'm scared, and I miss you.
Maybe tomorrow will be better, but today I need the phone cradled to my ear as I fall sleep. Today, I need you in any way I can have you. I need the little things to remind me that the greater things are going to follow. I need to know that this day isn't always going to be spent wallowing in lonely words.
I want to kiss you, breathe in the laughter, live the best surrender of all: the one I taste so sweetly with you. I want to feel your fingers pushed up again my own, fitting into the spaces between so perfectly, matching up the lines. I want to watch the stars with you by my side, dance the kitchen with you in my arms. I want to be with you.
But today, those things seem far away: farther than the ocean or your hands or my past. They are an eternity of hellos and goodbyes. Today, I'm left to wonder that I ever survived the distance at all because without you I'm confused. Today, I'd like to dream, but I'm lost in a space of gray, fading into the earth. I'm dusty; I'm alone. I'm scared, and I miss you.
Maybe tomorrow will be better, but today I need the phone cradled to my ear as I fall sleep. Today, I need you in any way I can have you. I need the little things to remind me that the greater things are going to follow. I need to know that this day isn't always going to be spent wallowing in lonely words.