Fuckme
For some reason
I feel like crap.
Yes I have a cold
but it's beyond that.
I think things might be ending with something
but Im not sure.
I really really hope its just my teenage hormones being retarded
Because I dont want it to end.
I'm getting really irritated with certain things
even though I shouldn't.
I need more friends.:(
I need to figure out what I'm going to do with my life.
I'm so unsure of everything anymore and it's just eating at me.
Sometimes I'm positive I know what career I want, and Where I want to live.
Then it's days like these that I just don't know.
All these colleges are sending me mail and I want to go...
Then I think about how I can't even go a weekend without being super homesick.
If I move away, what will happen to brendan and I?
then I hear all that stuff about how Highschool relationships
almost NEVER work out which makes me super depressed because
I know I love him.
I just don't know what's going on right now.
I'm like completely oblivious to everything :(
I wish there was someone I could talk to about it
so I could have some reassurance.
But there isn't anyone who I can talk to.
My mom will just make me ticked off
My dad doesnt really talk
The fantasy world or my so-called life
is getting punched in the nuts.
And reality is just pounding me.
I'm probably going crazy or something.
I don't want to move on with my life.
Things are just fine the way they are now.
I don't want to lose brendan or anyone for that matter.
I just want to marry brendan, have an excellent job, live someplace warm, and die happy.
But that probably wont happen.
I'll probably do something retarded to mess things up with brendan,
get bored with my job,
stay in stinky erie
and die alone.
Maybe the only thing that can keep me happy is staying with brendan
because he seems to be the only thing i truely care for and want.
But for some reason I just don't know what's going on to make me think so negatively.
I'm just scared I'm losing him :'(
Boo for life being the suck.
I feel like crap.
Yes I have a cold
but it's beyond that.
I think things might be ending with something
but Im not sure.
I really really hope its just my teenage hormones being retarded
Because I dont want it to end.
I'm getting really irritated with certain things
even though I shouldn't.
I need more friends.:(
I need to figure out what I'm going to do with my life.
I'm so unsure of everything anymore and it's just eating at me.
Sometimes I'm positive I know what career I want, and Where I want to live.
Then it's days like these that I just don't know.
All these colleges are sending me mail and I want to go...
Then I think about how I can't even go a weekend without being super homesick.
If I move away, what will happen to brendan and I?
then I hear all that stuff about how Highschool relationships
almost NEVER work out which makes me super depressed because
I know I love him.
I just don't know what's going on right now.
I'm like completely oblivious to everything :(
I wish there was someone I could talk to about it
so I could have some reassurance.
But there isn't anyone who I can talk to.
My mom will just make me ticked off
My dad doesnt really talk
The fantasy world or my so-called life
is getting punched in the nuts.
And reality is just pounding me.
I'm probably going crazy or something.
I don't want to move on with my life.
Things are just fine the way they are now.
I don't want to lose brendan or anyone for that matter.
I just want to marry brendan, have an excellent job, live someplace warm, and die happy.
But that probably wont happen.
I'll probably do something retarded to mess things up with brendan,
get bored with my job,
stay in stinky erie
and die alone.
Maybe the only thing that can keep me happy is staying with brendan
because he seems to be the only thing i truely care for and want.
But for some reason I just don't know what's going on to make me think so negatively.
I'm just scared I'm losing him :'(
Boo for life being the suck.