2nd day in a row i was up before 12 PM!....WOOHOO!!! *allthough i doo end up going back to sleep :)*
WOW!!! im so fucking tired....okay well i dunno what im starting out with im jus gonna start with this..some guy that i know and i havent talked bout for a long time...i think we may have a chance..things happened.. ;-)..but i dont wanna hurt this certain someone...that will i think make me feel like SHIT..ill get over it tho..*YAWN*..geez im really tired...but anyways...im gonna talk bout thursday...O GOD! that was a REALLY fucked up day...ill tell ya pretty much what happened...i wake up and shantell asks me if i want to go to indiana with her rick and the baby...so we went to my moms work and she says yeah but then says ask granny...and so yeah i didnt end up goin...it wasnt even the fact that i couldnt go..it was the fact that my mom didnt have the choice to let me go or not...ya know...i dunno...well that got me in the dumps a lil...so when we got back i was so down it was unreal...i just guessed that was what was wrong....but i dunno....so i broke into my moms room..it wasnt all that hard...i did it so i could get away...and the fact that in there is the only cd player in the house...so i tried that...i got thirsty so i opened up there lil fridge thing and there were 2 bottle of boonesfarm in there..so i drank one...yeah..didnt care...while i was tryin to get away people wouldnt leave me alone...like gary...hm...terry came to get me cuz rick wanted me outside..he wanted to borrow some of my gangster music...haha...well after i was done drinking it i went over to my aunts and asked her if she had any weed and she did so we got high...and then when i finally came home they asked who was in their room and who drunk the wine and i said..that would be me...my mom didnt believe i drank it..but i did..yeah yeah yeah *long story* but i ended up cutting big time and i took the rest of my anti-depressants which there was a good bit..bein honest..i think i wanted to die but that didnt work out to well cuz im still breathin..(im pretty open bout this and thats wierd) and the next thing i knew woke up at aunt becky's on her couch....when i woke up i didnt know where i was and i had no idea what time it was...i ended up realizin where i was and i walked to grandmas (home)..i felt soo fucked up..i was all wierd feeling like i was kinda floating and my face was numb and my mouth was numb and my eyes were wierd like...yeah anyways...but when i got there no one was there but i thought that they were sleeping...well i called tabby...woke her up...and she said sumthin bout everyone down at the house on that corner PARTYING...how fucked up is that -lol-...but i know now that terry gary jacob and travis came to get me but they couldnt find me...cuz i was long lost at my aunt beckys haha...well the phone was goin dead so i was goin to walk down there to see whats goin on...get a cig...and get terrys phone...i got to the bottom of the hill and all im gonna say is..EAST VIEW FUCKIN DRAMA!!...haha..so later on when we got back down there...i was sittin on the couch and another long story but gary had my mom and john thinkin we were fuckin..there was a lil talk there..and then my mom says..terry...why couldnt it have been you...lmao..terry got up and put his arms out and was like i dunno...thats what im askin -lol-...then after gary quit yellin for me to come into my br with him...-lol-...me and terry were told to go up to g-mas to get the dogs...well we did but then we were there tryin to find biscut and john comes walkin up the steps...so then it was jus my mom and gary down in the house sleepin...cuz me and terry didnt go back down there...me him jacob and travis was talkin in the back rooms...that not alot of people know bout...-lol-...we all hung out and then travis and jacob went to bed and it was jus me and terry and...we fell asleep back there....and yeah...the next morning gary comes to wake me up and terry says this is were we (me and terry) slept last night..and gary said she give it up..and terry must have made a face or sumthin cuz then he goes no im jus fuckin with ya..and gary says..ashleys not a virgin ashleys not a virgin...and terry told him man dont say that..things like that get around east view in 5 minutes..(by the way..i am still a virgin..-lol-..)....yesterday..john was opening a beer and i was like get me one and he handed that one to me and got another...i drank 2..i hate beer...but then again ive been drinkin it alot...ive become so bad lately ive been gettin at least a lil messed up every night...its bad...some shit is goin on so i came up here (midges) last night...and jacob stayed up here with phillip who is finally back...and tabby came over...we stayed up all night...jus fuckin around...it was pretty ok...welp...im goin cuz im so tired and this is only makin me even more tired...LATER