how do you function with a broken heart?
i hate everything. i hate everyone. i hate life.
its so weird for me to be like this. and im not even being dramatic, this is really how i feel and i fuckin hate it. its just not me at all. or atleast its not the old me. ew, is this the new me? i knew i was never going to be the same after that day but is this what that means? am i gonna be bitter and depressed from now on? i fuckin hate this shit. i dont know what to do anymore. everyone says it will get better with time. well you know what you fuckin assholes, ITS NOT GETTING BETTER! if anything, i feel like im getting worse. i mean of course i dont feel like i did the first few days (even though the other day i did and seriously thought i was gonna drop dead right then and there from a broken heart) but i still feel as horrible as i did after the first month or so. the more time that passes, the more things i think about, and the more i wish...i dont know what i wish. i wish i had a time machine but i know santa aint gonna bring me that for christmas. i need help and i dont know what to do. im afraid and i feel like i have no one. and im starting to believe i really dont. im more lonely than ive ever been in my whole life. im trying so fuckin hard to just be strong and move on with life but i cant. i just cant. and im starting to think i never will. omg, i dont want this to be my life. i think im going crazy. like, for real. i cant control my thoughts. they completely take over my brain and i cant make them stop. and my stupid fuckin dreams arent helping me. im so lost. so broken. i dont know what to do.
its so weird for me to be like this. and im not even being dramatic, this is really how i feel and i fuckin hate it. its just not me at all. or atleast its not the old me. ew, is this the new me? i knew i was never going to be the same after that day but is this what that means? am i gonna be bitter and depressed from now on? i fuckin hate this shit. i dont know what to do anymore. everyone says it will get better with time. well you know what you fuckin assholes, ITS NOT GETTING BETTER! if anything, i feel like im getting worse. i mean of course i dont feel like i did the first few days (even though the other day i did and seriously thought i was gonna drop dead right then and there from a broken heart) but i still feel as horrible as i did after the first month or so. the more time that passes, the more things i think about, and the more i wish...i dont know what i wish. i wish i had a time machine but i know santa aint gonna bring me that for christmas. i need help and i dont know what to do. im afraid and i feel like i have no one. and im starting to believe i really dont. im more lonely than ive ever been in my whole life. im trying so fuckin hard to just be strong and move on with life but i cant. i just cant. and im starting to think i never will. omg, i dont want this to be my life. i think im going crazy. like, for real. i cant control my thoughts. they completely take over my brain and i cant make them stop. and my stupid fuckin dreams arent helping me. im so lost. so broken. i dont know what to do.