Titles are for ladies and queers
I'm sorry I didn't say this sooner, but congratulations, my good friend, Becks Hathaway! It's not everyday you get a husband with built-in children! Unless you're one of them broads what like to dabble in golddiggery. But I've known you for a while. And you're all right.
I wish I could have been there, and I hope you don't hold it against me that I wasn't! I'm still a little sad over it.
The following is a short list of things I wish we could have done before you ruined your life (haha, jk):
-Punch some smelly slytherins in the face
-Comb the streets of San Fransisco with a video camera and find out, once and for all, what the homosexual agenda really is. Here is my guess: Go to gym. Buy milk. DESTABILIZE CHRISTIAN RIGHT AND SPIT ON INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE. Tivo Grey's Anatomy.
-Go to a movie and not forget my wallet at home
-Almost kill more pedestrians. Oh, no wait! You told me not to ever tell anyone about that. You can ignore that, everyone.
-Tell your brother not to go down on himself
-Where is it
Really, though, all my best! Much love and all that.
Last night I was walking from my room to the kitchen and I stepped right into a spider web. Don't you hate that? I do. Especially since it caught on my bare leg. That's how low it was, it caught on my fucking leg. It was, like, parallel to the ground and it caught my leg around my shin. What the hell kind of spider does that? Like I didn't have reason enough to hate spiders as it was. Fuck you, parallel web-spinning, leg-catching spider. Fuck you and all your brethren. And sistren. And brother-in-lawthren. Fuck all of you. Plus your fuckin' mother.
I don't really use my computer too often anymore, mostly because it's eleven years old and does little more than take up space and hold the poor music files I have left hostage because I have no means of getting them out. But since I've taken up writing the recaps for Niños Ricos, I've spent a lot of time just sitting around listening to what I still have clanking around in here. I recently found I still have Kibou no kane ga naru asa ni by The Alfee! Why should any of you care? You shouldn't, so don't worry about it. It was the theme song for Salaryman Kintarou, which was my very first J-drama! As such this song is dripping with what I understand is called sentimental value. It still gives me the warmest of warm fuzzies when I listen to it. Sure, to this day I have no idea what any of the lyrics mean, but so what? People all over the world listen to music in English with no idea what it means and they don't enjoy it any less.
If Nigga (No, really, that's what he calls himself.) says ROMANTIC STYLE IN DA WORLD one more time I will find him. I will find him and punch him. N-n-n-n-na-nai-not joking. I will move heaven and earth to find him and smack him one right in the face.
Maybe just a strongly worded email? I'm not a violent person by nature. Plus it saves me a roadtrip.
It's been a slow week. I'm feeling very blahful right now, but at the same time very hopeful because I know of a few places in town that are hiring. I need a job. You all know this. You're probably all sick of me bitching about this, as well you should be. Especially since getting a job means buying a new computer and getting internets and getting to talk to all of you again! Then you can all be sick of me for an entirely different set of reasons! Hooray!
To tide me over in the meantime, I went to work with Dad last weekend. It sucked but I did get some spending money. I haven't spent it yet because I really want to buy Juan Son's Mermaid Sashimi CD, among other things. The only problem is that I'd have to go to LA to find it, if not TJ. Eugh. Chava says he'll burn a copy for me but my mail carriers are notoriously suckful. So if he sends it and it gets lost I'll have to find a way to buy it anyway. He had a concert last Saturday and everyone was encouraged to wear costumes, I wish I could have gone! Stupid Mexico. Next time I go to Cuernavaca I'm looking up any and all music venues in the surrounding area. The only one I know of at the moment is called Krishna bar, I think.
I didn't know Midi from Moenia was in Jot dog! Chava, did you know this? And Jot dog isn't so named so that people like me accidentally say joto, is it? 'Cause that's kind of embarrassing. Especially if someone thinks I'm calling them a fag and I get smacked in the mouth. Boy, would my face be red. And not just from the busted capillaries.
Act now! Final full week of Niños Ricos updatery! This one's called, "Nothing happened!" or, "Santi's stiff drink!"
Just kidding. Go read now, Lor.
This is the last full week I'll write for you, Lor. I'd already written this out by the time we had our little chat and you said you pretty much just wanted Santiago/Diego goodness. There's some good stuff in here, but if you can't make it through, just chew on the stuff I wrote about the boys. You can do eet!
Back at the po-lice station, Manuel and Matías are getting a stern talking to by Manny's guardian/daddy's lawyer. Manuel doesn't really care, he's just mad she can't do anything to get the girls out of jail. She says they'll be fine as soon as a member of their family comes and sees them.
Esteban's chillin' in his room when he gets a visit from Matías. He says he's had quite a day, since, as you know, he wasn't at school. Esteban says, "You know, I didn't even notice." Mati tries to regain Esteban's interest by making him guess who he was with, but he just says, "Either spill it already or get the fuck out." so spill he does, they were with David's little sister, and with the gardener's little sister, too. But before he could seal the deal the whole house is ambushed by the special service, which I again assume is, like, their equivalent to those cats in SWAT we have stateside. Esteban calls bullshit, why would the special service be poking around Manny's house? Mati says that's the thing...it turns out Manuel is none other than the son of alias Don J!
Esteban's like...wtf? Manuel is that guy's son? We have to kick him the fuck out of our school, then! We can't be associating mobsters.
Good friend, that Esteban.
And over at Manuel's, he's packed a bag because he gots to get the hell up out of that house. By now, daddy's lawyer says the cops have got bugs and taps all over the place and the house is no longer safe. He can't use his cell phone either so he's going to have to lay low for a few days. Manny's gonna have to ask a friend if he can stay over for a few nights.
Amelia is in Juan's dad, Cesar's office. She aspires to be a politician. Or at the very least bang one. She's been going on and on to Cesar about how she'd like to see his office and learn more about his workaday world. Cesar asks Amelia how much time she's got. She says she's got all afternoon, and most of the evening, unless he needs more time, then she's got all night. Cesar says she can help out with this and that around the office, and of course she'll be paid for her troubles. Amelia says she's not in it for the money. Ew.
Later, over lunch, Cesar asks Amelia what her relationship with his son is. She says she cares for Juan, but not as anything other than a friend, no matter how badly he might want something more. She asks what made him ask something like that and he just says he wanted to make things clear.
Hrm!
David's dad has left the house. Aside from being an alchie on the downlow, it seems he's become something of a burden on the family. He leaves them a note that says he'll give them a call when he can get his shit together. Really, I don't know what he's planning.
Lucía is still at school talking to Mr. Donnelly. She asks him not to fire David's mom because she believes the incident earlier wasn't her fault either. What's more, she's still looking for a job, so she asks if she might come on as the cafeteria's administrator. She thinks she and David's mom can do well together, and wouldn't you know... she gets the job!
She meets Esteban's dad, Guillermo outside and he asks if he can give her a ride. She accepts, 'cause she's got an apartment to find! Still!
While on the apartment hunt, Guillermo takes some time to chat Lucía up. He says he's finally getting seperated from Monica, and the first thing he wants to do is --but Lucía has to stop him there. She says she's got enough on her plate as it is, she can't be in a relationship right now.
Guillermo concedes, but says this isn't the last time they talk about this.
Hooray! Lucía finds an apartment within her budget! And Guillermo is quick to point out it's got three bedrooms, even! One for Alex, one for her, and one for...what have you. They share a laugh and Guillermo says he really should think about where he's going to live. Lucía asks him if he has any savings and he says he has absolutely nothing, it's what he gets for leaving Monica in charge of his finances since..forever. Her errands done, Guillermo takes Lucía back to the De La Torre household.
Meanwhile, Veronica makes a visit to Monica. She needs a loan. Monica's sorry to hear that, but says she should ask her husband because she just gave him one. This is the part where Monica lets Veronica know that Robert is pretty much indebted to pretty much everyone they know. Pretty much. Veronica's like, I need a @()*%&# drink.
David comes home and finds his dad's note, and is appropriately distressted. And kind of pissed. And then he gets the call that Lola's in jail. He's a little more pissed now. So he and mom go down to der station and get her ass out. She tries to apologize but before she gets very much out mom gives her the ol' telenovela BITCHSLAP! Mom says she has enough to go on worrying about with her father leaving home without having to come and bail her shit out of jail, too.
David's not any happier, and has to remind Lola of all the shit he had to go through to try and get her back into school. She's still on academic probation and it's a stunt like this that could get her ass kicked out again.
Don't worry, Rocío got out too, and her sister was just as pissed.
Lucía's back at the De La Torre household and gives Roberto the good news, she's found a job, aaaaand an apartment. Roberto is glad to hear it and he doesn't want to sound rude, but he thinks it might be a good idea for her and Alex to leave as soon as they can. Lucía knows all about Roberto's problems and she says she can't just leave after all he's done for her. Roberto says he has nothing to thank her for, and besides, her pay would be better spent covering her own and Alex's expenses. He'll think of a way to get out of this mess.
And just when you think we're going to have a third Santiago-free episode in a row...there he is! At the very end.
Veronica and Roberto are having a shouting match to end all shouting matches. Just then the door bell rings. It's Santiago. Why Santiago has to ring the door bell at his own house is a mystery to me. He hears what's goin' down and wants to know what the crap is going on...so he asks them what the crap is going on. Veronica says it's none of his damn business. "So stop screaming so everyone can hear." he says. But Roberto says Santiago has a right to know. It's not like he won't find out anyway. Roberto says, "Santiago, we're ruined. We've lost everything but the house, and I'm putting it up for sale."
Santiago doesn't actually seem all that shocked, which is weird.
Veronica starts in again, saying Roberto pissed away their fortune gambling. Not to be outdone, Roberto says Veronica could have helped by not giving in to her crazymad spend lust. Before they can bitch at each other some more, Santi interrupts them.
"Hey! Congratulations. Really! We've---well, you've finally managed to break our happy little family apart! You know what? I'm leaving. I'm not going to stick around to see what my two 'idols' make of this situation." And off he trots to his room.
Now, he could go to Diego's house, but my guess is he'll move in with aunt Lucía and Alex and live in that wondrous 3rd bedroom of hers. He already loves them more than his parents.
-
Tuesday! And Diego lives! More on that later.
Alex is going all over town looking for a job. No luck, until Anaís says she's friends with this dude who owns a bar downtown, she's sure he owes her a favor so maybe she can help. So they hit up the club, haaaay. Anaís says this'll be easy because she's this bar's best customer and worst nightmare. Haw. Long story short, just as Anaís expected, the guy is more than happy to accomodate Alex. She'll be working from six to midnight and she can start the next day. Huzzah!
David and family are freaking out because dad's left home. Still. Mom and Lola are praying their asses off.
Manuel makes the mistake of going to Esteban's house to ask for a place to stay. Esteban ain't too happy about this. He asks Manny why he never bothered to tell them he was Don Jorge's son. Not only is his dad a known felon, he's the most wanted COLOMBIAN DRUG LORD, YEAH! in the country. Manuel did it to keep him and his dad safe. That's all well and good for him, but that leaves all of his friends more or less exposed. Manuel says he never thought of it that way. So Esteban says if he'd had some consideration and been up front about this sooner he might have been able to help him. As it stands, he's not letting Manuel stay the night. And then Esteban even tells one of his bodyguards not to ever let his shit on the premises again. Aw.
We're at Diego's house and everyone's favorite curly haired something-or-other stops by! Santiago asks if he can maybe stay the night and obviously Diego's like, "Of course you can, Santi! You know you're welcome anytime." (Yes, I forgot to mention Diego is the only person who uses the diminutive form Santi) Cavalier though he were wif his mommy and daddy, Santiago actually seems sad now. He tells Diego he might have to stay for a few days or more on account of his family's ruined now. It turns out his dad is a compulsive gambler and he lost his family's entire fortune at der bettin' tables. Mom and dad are putting the house up for sale and he really can't be there right now. He says if he keeps breathing the air at his house, he's liable to be found hanging in his room. The doorbell rings and Diego goes to answer, as he goes he reiterates that it's not a problem, but says playfully to Santiago that if he tries to pull any of that shit here he's in for some trouble.
Wouldn't you know, it's Manuel!
He walks in, backpack in hand and asks if he can have a place to stay, adding, "And before the two of you say anything, yeah...I'm a drug lord's son."
Diego and Santiago just stare at each other.
David's dad is still cruising around town looking for work, handouts, et al. He ends up in a church begging a priest for help because he's become a burden on his family. Priest dude tries to level with him and says if his family still loves him he'll never be a burden --so go the fuck home. He calls up the family and they all want him to come home too, but he won't tell them where he is and he's not coming home yet. Still don't know what the shit he's up thinking.
Back at the Aguirre house, Diego says to Manuel that he doesn't care what his father is, and he'd be happy to help. However! He still has to ask his mom and see if she's okay with it, if she says no then there's not a whole lot he can do. Manuel understands and says he's just glad he wasn't turned away at the door. A somewhat insulted Santiago adds, "You know we're not like those shallow brats at school." and Manuel feels better, then realizes Santiago's over so late and asks, "Hey, I'm sorry. Were you two working on something?" Santiago goes, "Yeah. Diego was just cheering me up. It's become a hobby of his."
Diego comes back in and puts his arms around Santi and Manuel, "Guess what! It looks like the three of us are going to be bunking together!"
And you can almost hear the theme to Three's Company theme reverberating through the Colombian air.
Diego's mom comes in and says Manuel can stay a few nights, but he really should think of another place to stay. "I'm not kicking you out, and I'm not worried about our safety, I'm worried about yours." Manuel says, "I understand, ma'am. I'm grateful for you letting me stay, and I'll do my best to stay out of your way while I'm here. If you don't mind, I'll be in the garden. I'd like to be alone for a while." After Manuel goes outside, Diego's mom thinks she should go out and talk to him, leaving Santi and Diego alone again. Santiago's like, "Um, Diego? Where are we going to sleep?" He thinks about it for a second and is all, "Don't even worry about that. We'll figure something out." And then it dawns on him, "Oh! I'm sorry! Does it bother you that Manuel is staying with us?" But Santi's like, "Of course not. This is your house, and if having Manuel here doesn't bother you then I'm not worried either." So off goes Diego, presumably to figure out the sleeping arrangements, leaving Santiago alone and looking kind of sad again. Aw.
Guillermo's on his way home only to find Monica waiting for him on the front steps. He spots some briefcases and asks, "What's this?" Monica says it's his severance package. Guillermo laughs it off and says that's fine, he's just going to go inside to check and see if there's anything he might have overlooked. But Monica's like, nuh-uh, bitch. "I've already told security not to let you inside without my authorization." 'So give me your authorization.' "I won't." And then she takes his housekeys, oh shit. Still not altogether surprised or pissed, Guillermo says, "Let me guess. You've drained my bank account, haven't you?" 'Heavens, no! I'm not a monster, you know. I've left you a little something. I think its enough for you to find someplace to lay your head. Oh, and tell that lover of yours that she's next.'
Still laughing, Guillermo says, "Oh, I will! I'll let her know." Monica tries to get the last word in by saying she knows he'll come crawling back. He says, "No. I don't think I will. Goodbye! Whore." And off he drives!
It's kinda funny, I guess. Considering Lucía kinda doesn't want anything to do with Guillermo at the moment.
(Fun fact! What he actually calls monica is 'zorra' which is the female genitive of fox. Unlike in English, calling somebody a fox in spanish is NOT a compliment. Do not call a woman a fox. What you are doing is calling her a slut. Unless she IS a slut, in which case, go crazy)
So a little later, Esteban finds Monica and asks where Guillermo is. She tells him that he's left to go with his lover. Esteban's like, "That's funny. I thought the one who was all about the partying and extra-marital affairs was you." Monica is displeased. "I suppose you're going to take his side, then?" He says, "Monica, I really don't have any interest in taking sides, but now that I think about it, you did mention something to me about a military school in the states? Let's just say I'm on your side and we can forget all that ugliness, yeah?"
Monica thinks it over and agrees to his terms. "Aren't we clever?" Esteban lays his head in Monica's lap and says, "Well, I am your son. Aren't you proud of me? I do feel sorry for dad, though. You're going to destroy him, aren't you?"
Lucía's in Alex's room, telling her that uncle Roberto and aunt Veronica are going bankrupt now, so the best thing for the both of them is to leave as soon as they can. Alex is like, where the crap are we going to go? So mom's like...I found a job! And an apartment! We. Are. Fucking. Set! Alex is kinda mad she waited so long to let her know, but she's glad. Still, she feels bad. She wants to help her aunt and uncle out 'cause they've done nothing but help since they came to their door. Lucía agrees but she says they'll have plenty to be going on with, what with their new expenses.
Alex is all, "Oh, don't worry, I'll help! I got a new job too!" Lucía is displeased.
She wants to know what binnis Alex has getting a job without her permission when she should be studying. She also wants to know where this place is, and she wants to check it out herself. Alex begs her not to, 'cause that shit would be embarrassing.
So where does Guillermo go when he's down and out? Why, to Eduardo's house! Otherewise known as Isa's daddy. Guillermo is grateful for having a friend like Eduardo to count on. Eduardo says he can stay as long as he needs. What a pal!
Guess who's at Amelia's house? Yep. Juan's dad. Amelia wants it bad, and Cesar wants to give it to her. Kind of. He keeps thinking her parents are going to come home but she keeps telling him they won't be home for months. So he finally starts getting into it until the doorbell starts ringing. Cesar freaks out, and with good reason, because it's Juan at the door. And he is livid. He's disgusted by his dad, and thinks he got Amelia drunk so he could fuck her. Not that he's any happier with Amelia, he still calls her a whore (Zorra! There's that word again!) Cesar gets up and tries to explain and Juan's like, "Oh! What! Are you going to hit me or something? 'Cause that's really all that's left, isn't it? Come on! Hit me!"
Oh, silly Juan. Daddy doesn't want to hit you! He just wants to fuck your girlfriend.
This scene here disturbs me. Because Isa's dad creeps me the fuck out. It's late and he's come to call at Monica's house, he's just heard she and Guillermo split up and he's come to console her. Which is novela speak for "Let's fuck on the dining room table. Now." So they totally do. No subtle nuance like with your main gays, no. Just incredibly creepy relations. And kind of graphic considering neither of them took any of their clothes off during the scene. Ew.
-
It's Wednesday! That means it's hump day. Here and on NR, too! Oh wait. That was last night.
The morning is here, and Esteban is up bright and early as Isa's dad is gettin' up out of Monica's room. Ever the cheerful young man, Esteban says, "Good morning, Eduardo! I was just wondering. What's Isa's father, my would-be father-in-law doing sneaking out of Monica's room like he was a teenager? Also, I was wondering why you look like you've just showered?" Eduardo don't appreciate this lip, he says he heard Guillermo and Monica had just split up and he thought she could use a friend. He only showered there because they were up all night talking and he's got to go to work. Esteban's like...yeah, that's nice, 'cause he doesn't believe his story at all.
After he leaves, Esteban goes to mommy dearest's room, where she is just waking up.
"My, don't we look tired? Long night?" Then comes the part where Esteban shows how good he is at saying some really nasty things while sounding perfectly casual and friendly. Kid doesn't even bat an eye. Followed by the part where mom brings the telenovela BITCHSLAP! but oh! Instead of standing there and taking it like people in telenovelas do, like, 98% of the time, Esteban catches her, mid-bitch. Pride-obliterating BITCHSLAP! deflected, Esteban reminds mommy how disgusted he is by her, and is off on his merry little way.
It's breakfast time at Casa de Diego! The boys are in their unis and mom is all dressed and ready to go. Diego's mom tells the boys to hurry and finish breakfast so she can get going too. Manuel gets up and says again how grateful he is for the two of them letting him stay. Diego once again tells him he doesn't blame him for what his father does, it's not like he chose it. He tries to get it through Manny's head that that's what friends are for and gives him a very sweet hug.which Manny is only too happy to return. Santiago thanks them again, too, and he hopes that he won't have to bother them again. Diego's mom, Aura is all like, pfft, you dumb bitches know you're always welcome. She asks if they're ready to go to school yet because she's got to go.
Diego asks why she's so dressed up so early in the morning and she says it's because she starts her new job today. An excited Diego gives mommy a kiss and wishes her good luck. She says she'll wait for the boys in the car and leaves, with Manny running behind to follow her, leaving Diego alone with Santi. Now, the look that Diego gives Santiago, I cannot even describe to you, Lor. It would have been a good time for their theme song of forlorn secret gay yearning. If you could have seen it it would have broken you. I tried to warn Iván but I think it broke him, too.
David and Alex are suspended, as you know, so David is off to comb the city looking for his father. Alex is such a sweetie she says she wants to go with and help him look. Isn't that cute?
As for pop, he's still at the church he spent the night in. The priest is once again trying to get him to go home. Dad says he's already called home and says they didn't even notice he was gone. "Don't you see my family doesn't even miss me? You've got to help me!" Priest dude is like, even so---you need to go home and get the hell up out of here. And then, oh shit. His flask falls out of his pocket and now priest dude is pissed. Dad tries to explain that he really is sick, even if he exaggerated a little. Priest dude ain't havin' this and kicks him out of the Lord's house.
Time for school! Esteban's in Mr. Donnelly's office. He's still under suspension too, but it's ok, he's not attending class. He's got more important shit to take care of, anyway. Like telling Mr. Donnelly that he needs to kick Manuel De la Rosa the fuck out of GMS. -- Have I told you the name of their school yet? Because I'm not exactly sure, up until now it's always blurred. I thought it maybe contained a word that was perfectly acceptable in Colombia, but maybe considered a vulgar term to a predominantly Mexican/Puerto Rican/Cuban/whatever, stateside audience. Because that happens, believe it or not! I can't think of any examples off the top of my head, but a word considered completely benign in Mexico can be a horribly vulgar term in, say, Argentina. "Hello!" = "Suck my dick, person of ill-repute!" It's not unlike how in the UK and Australia they say bum bags instead of fannypacks because over there fanny means pussy. Learning is fun!
Another reason their school name has been blurred up until now might be 'cause they just plain fucked up. During the times I've managed to find their school name un-blurred it says Gimnasio Moderno San Simon. Okay. But the other night they didn't bother to blur it and it said Gimnasio Mixto San Simon. So maybe someone fucked up what the school was supposed to be called and just blurred that shit until they could fix all the signs? I don't know. Gimnasio Moderno San Simon or Gimnasio Mixto San Simon? I don't know! "Elite Way School" was so much easier and in English. Enough of my rambling! --
So like I was saying, Esteban wants Manuel out. He says Manuel De La Rosa isn't actually Manuel De La Rosa. He's really Manuel Cervantes, son of Jorge Cervantes, also known as Don Jorge, the most wanted man in the country. Never mind the fact that daddy's a COLOMBIAN DRUG LORD, YEAH! it means that Manuel enrolled using bogus documents and that alone should be enough to kick him the fack out.
If that's not enough, he knows that a lot of the students and parents are already talking about it, and they already want him out, too.
Recess time is heeeeeere! Matías and PSP kid Miguel sneak off to THE BROAD-ASS SIDE OF A BUILDING to smoke some gonj! This next part gets a little fuzzy because my attention was elswhere at the time (it takes a lot to distract me from NR, but that's neither here nor there!) but the gist of it is, Miguel's thinking about trading up, he's tired of his car and he's had his eye on...wow! The same exact model Mati drives! Matías says he'll be more than willing to help in exchange for say....some piccies of Miguel's sister? PSP kid Miguel looks offended for, like, less than a second before he's all, "Sure!" But wait, on second thought, Mati wants some video footage of his sister. Whatever will she be doing in said video footage? I wonder! But it looks like Miguel is getting a new car.
Just then, Juan comes running to join them, "Heeeeey! Don't smoke it all without me, gimme a puff!"
With the three of them now nicely toasted, Juan says he's got an idea to run by them. Remember when I told you Juan likes to take pictures? You 'member! Well! He wants to take a picture of his daddy gettin' it on with Amelia, a minor, and post the shit out of it on the interwebs! Thus, ruining daddy's political career, and totally stickin' to Amelia.
After all this hooplah with Esteban, Mr. Donnelly has to call Manuel into his office. He says that as of tomorrow, he is to be expelled from GMS forevar and evar. Manuel thinks this is bullshit. It's not his fault how his father makes his money, he didn't inherit his father's crimes. Mr. Donnelly actually agrees with Manny, and he doesn't want to expel him, but his hands are tied on the matter. The students and their parents have already started complaining.
Back in class, the kids are making a great mess of noise like they usually do when Manuel busts in on them and asks for everyone's attention. He's pissed and he wants to know who's been talking le shit. Nobody says anything, so Manny continues the attack. "That's fine. But before I go I just wanted to let you know that you're no different! Your parents are just as shady, just as crooked, just as corrupt, if not worse than my dad!"
Juliana pops up and says he's absolutely right, and she doesn't think it's cool that they're kicking him out. Diego and Santiago, of course, also stand up. Anaís gets up and says, "Yeah, I'm with them, everyone knows our parents should'v been locked up long ago for all the shit they pull." Eventually, everyone's on their feet, all hot with righteous anger.
Mauro comes in when it's time for class and he asks what's going on. PSP kid Miguel's like, "Can't you see we're in the middle or something?" and when Mr. Donnelly comes in the kids all boo him and huck wads of paper at him. Diego tried to throw a paper airplane and it was the most pitifully adorable thing I've ever seen. He whips his arm out of nowhere and it hits PSP kid Miguel in the back before it can go anywhere.
Mr. Donnelly tries to calm the kids down and says the situation is out of his hands. He doesn't want Manuel expelled either but he's got orders to follow.
Meanwhile, Esteban joins Isa in the country club's sauna. I only mention this boring scene because it ends with Isa once again, going down on Esteban. And I mention that because my question is this: If Esteban responds to this, then why not just shut Isa the hell up by fucking her after she gets him all hotted up that way? I think about these things. Does erectile disfunction not apply to dick suckery? I don't know! Do you know? 'Cause I don't know.
And we've reached the end of Wednesday with David and Alex. David gets a phone call from the po-lice. He goes white and when he hangs up Alex asks what's wrong. David says they've found his father. And he's dead.
Oh!
-
You've made it to Thursday! I hope! Here's what happened, hard and fast!
With a lump in his throat the size of a small woodland creature, David gallantly makes his way to the hospital morgue with Alex by his side. He's asked to identify the body and....OH MY GOD! Oh, wait. It's not his dad. False alarm, false alarm! Sorry, everybody! Having braved the sights of random dead guy with David, Alex says she's got to go now, she really has to get ready for her first day at work. David's so glad Alex came with him he offers to drive her home after work. She tries to say no but he insists. What a sweetie.
The kiddies at school are all out in the hall now, still yelling for Manuel to be reinstated. That is, until Juliana takes a few steps up the stairs and goes. ".......Well. We've all done what we came here for. Now that we've gotten out of class I think we can stop." Juan jumps up next to her and is pretty much like, "Are you shitting me? That's all you did this for?" and she's like, bitch, please. This is boring. I'm done. So Anaís hops up to join Juan. "Well, you're not alone. I wasn't joking, I want to help Manuel, too!" But one by one, the other kids just turn around and leave. Gasp! Even Santiago and Diego. What the shit? That pissed me off.
Meanwhile, Santiago's dad Roberto is getting punched in the stomach by some hired goons at one of the many casinos he owes a shitwad of money at. That's right, shitwad.
The owner wants to discuss Roberto's wowbig debt and Roberto assures him that he's going to pay every last cent he owes.
But the guy already knows this. Because he knows Roberto wouldn't want anything to happen to his son.
Oh noes!
Outside the school campus, Manuel is havin' in out with his lawyer. He wants to know why she isn't doing a better job of getting his ass back in school. She already tried reasoning with Mr. Donnelly, but he said She'll have to take it up with somebody parental comitte (Their answer to the PTA? I don't know.) She doesn't understand why Manuel wouldn't rather go to some other school, anyway. She says she can even get him into some school in the states but Manny ain't havin' it. He says he won't give the other kids the pleasure, he's staying riiiiiight here. Besides, he's still got a score to settle with whoever's behind him getting the boot. Whoever it was still has to pay. in blood.
Oh snap!
Esteban and Isa are still gettin' all hot and bothered in the sauna when they get caught by this scandalized woman who works at the country club. She demands they get out and get dressed, she's calling their parents! Esteban's like, "Lady, you don't scare us. I don't make a point to do what underlings tell me to. Now, if you don't mind, Isa and I are going to go and continue elsewhere. Unless you'd like to join us and watch, that is?" Bitch looks affronted and --wait for it-- gets all appropriately ape-faced! "Some other time, then."
Roberto goes to Manny's lawyer's office asking for her to lend him some money. He needs it bad. Roberto fills her in on his current financial situation and she agrees. But there's a catch. Roberto's in the parental comittee thinger and in exchange for her monies, she wants him to make a case for Manuel to be re-enrolled at GMS. Mmm, money troubles.
Manuel is leaving school when Juan catches up to him to stop him. He tells him about the scene all the students made on behalf, and how badly it ended. "Look, the only kids who really stood up for you were Anaís and me. That means any one of the other kids could be in on the whole thing. Any one of them could have gotten you kicked out!" Manuel isn't surprised, "I don't trust anyone anymore. I'll tell you one thing, though. I don't have any proof, but I'm almost positive it was Esteban and Matías who got me expelled. Don't think this is over yet."
I like this scene. Why? 'Cause Juan calls Manuel Manuelín. Not exactly a diminutive form since it's actually longer than his name, but still a very sweet endearment. To me, at least. Just like Santi! It means Juan must really wuv Manuel! Aw.
Gardener boy Gabriel is once again in Veronica's car, oh my! He's a little mad at Veronica because he thinks she just used him for love squeezins (See? I'm down with the Boosh) She says the whole "I bought you a shitload of gardening tools, machines and other such implements only to have the check bounce and totally not fix it like I said I would by now" thing has a perfectly logical explanation. Santiago sees them together again, oh no! Luckily, he's on his bike this time, so he don't waste no time following them. He sees the two of them heading into their little booty call next and the look on his face was somewhere between :( and >O
Having once been rebuffed by some goons working for some dude named Don Comanche for trying to panhandle on the street, David's dad Rafael now has no choice but to ask Don Comanche himself for permission to beg for munny on his turf. Comanche man says he can beg in his territory, in exchange for 75% of whatever he earns. He looks pitiful enough, but he'll be nice and even give him a wheelchair to beg in so people can feel even more sorry for him. At the end of the day he collects around a hundred bucks (WHAT) and Comanche gives him, like, twenty. He says he's including the wheelchair and costume rental. Haw!
Lola apparently don't have shit to do, so she goes to her local head of thuggery again. She says she needs help finding her dad. Still harboring a soft spot (not to mention a raging boner) for our dear Lola, he tells her not to worry, he'll have his best men looking for her dad.
And they do. They spot him panhandling in Don Comanche territory. Thuggeriffic is displeased.
I smell gang war. Yeah!
Esteban and Isa are in the boss's office at the country club and he's not very thrilled with what they were caught doing. He even calls Isa's dad and lets him know his daughter was found in a compromising position. Isa's dad says he'll be right over to straighten this whole mess out.
Now fully dressed, the two of them don't really feel like sticking around anymore and they tell the dude they're leaving because he can't really do anything about it if they want to leave. He says they can't leave, he just called Isa's father and he's on his way. Isa's like, "Look, you. I'm leaving, don't even think I'm going to wait around. My father's a busy man, so you'd better not waste too much of his time." And with that, they're gone.
When Isa's dad gets there, the first thing he does is grab the dude by the collar and says, "Listen, you're going to keep your trap shut about what happened with my daughter today or I'm going to have to let slip how you've been sexually harrassing all the waitresses, you got that?"
Is that dude really boning waitresses? Did Eduardo just make that shit up 'cause he knows he's got enough sway at that club that everyone will believe him?
Interesting shit!
Because Esteban can't stay from her, he drops by to see Alex. She says she ain't got no time to be sufferin' fools, she's got to go to work. Esteban: "You've got a job?" More pissed by the second Alex: "That's right. We can't all be waited on hand and foot." Verbally bitchslapped Esteban: "I didn't mean it like that, so where do you work?" Alex says she's working at a bar and Esteban's like whoa, you shouldn't be working at a bar. Alex don't give a shit, as a matter of fact, she thinks it's effing tits. But if she doesn't leave right now she's gonna be late, so get the fuck out the way!
Back at his house, Esteban kicks it with Matías. Mati tells him all about the student uprising for Manuel's benefit that ended with everyone just pretty much leaving. Esteban's like, "I'm gone for one day and the students are already showing solidarity? Aw, hell naw. It looks like we're going to have to remind them who's in charge of things." 'Even your lovely little Alex?' "Her most of all."
Alex gets to her worky work job and she gets a call from lesbian girl Laura! She's all, "Hey, friend! What are you up to?" 'I'm at work, so I can't talk right now. And since when are you and I friends?' "Oh, you have a job? Where do you work?" 'I work at Hard Bar.' "You work at Hard Bar? That's great! Well, I guess you're busy so I'll let you go, then. Bye!<3" Alex hangs up the phone and is all, "Annoying." She finds boss man and he says it's time for her to get changed 'cause he needs her out there right away. Alex is confused by the whole 'get changed' thing and boss dude's like, "Oh! I forgot to tell you. We do theme nights and our waitresses dress up accordingly. Tonight's cat night." Alex sees one of the waitresses walk by and she's all, "You want me to wear that? No way! What if some guy tries to get fresh with me?"
"Relax, it's not that bad. We don't have those kind of customers here, but it somebody tries to start anything with you or any of the girls I'm right here and so is security. You've got nothing to worry about."
Back at casa de bitch, lesbian girl Laura is like, "Omg! You'll never guess who's working at Hard Bar! Alex!" And Isa's like ugh i hate that bit-really? Right away she's on the horn with Esteban saying they should hit up Hard Bar tonight. Esteban agrees but immediately tells Mati to tag along with them or else Isa will think it's supposed to be some kind of date or some shit. Mati is all too willing to come with, "Hell yeah! Tonight is cat night, man! Yummy yum yum!"
The four of them make it to Hard Bar and order some drinks. Wouldn't you know it, the waitress that brings them over is none other than Alex, now sporting a little pink dress and kitty cat ears. She's not happy to see them, o'course! Also, she's like, "I can't serve alcohol to minors. I'm going to have to see some ID."
Aw shit, son!
If you've managed to read this far down again, hooray! And I promise you Friday is going to be the greatest ep of all time! Even better than lesbian girl Laura and cat night at Hard Bar, I promise!
Here, I'll even give you a hint even though you won't be reading this until next week anyway. And there's no suspense because you don't have to wait a whole 'nother night to read for Friday's ep. I'm telling you anyway. The preview for Friday shows our favorite curly haired so-and-so and a flashback of his FANTASTIBAD MISADVENTURES IN VAGINAL SPELUNKING. Plus Diego declaring his love for Santiago once and for all. And moving in for a kiss.
I guess that'll keep you with a modicum of suspense for at least a few paragraphs.
-
Fucking eh, it's Friday! And all that shit I just wrote about? That shit right up there? Totally didn't happen. No. Well, not the wanton declarations of homosexual affection, unless you count lesbian girl Laura licking her lips at Alex in her pink kitty dress. But you'll see.
I didn't break my promise! Telemundo broke theirs!
I'm so disillusioned by this that my brain is all bamboozled, so some of tonight's recap may be erratic and out of order, if not driven completely from my mind.
Hard Bar! Alex repeats to Isa that if they want the drinks they ordered they're going to have to show some ID. They all whip out their fake IDs and she's like.....okay. Whatever. Isa tries to talk shit about the way she's dressed, but Matías doesn't seem to have any complaints, and lesbian girl Laura, as I said, actually licks her lips at her. She tries calling Alex friend again and she's all, "I already told you, I'm not your friend." Oh, lesbian girl Laura! You're going to get yourself into trouble one of these days. Meow.
Hey, lookit that, Santiago's back at home. What's the first order of business, Santi? Yellin' at your mom, the whore, of course! Oh, they have it out. Santiago can't believe she would stoop to that. Daddy pisses away the family fortune and mom's a lush who loves certain other pleasures as well. Veronica gets mad and says she doesn't deserve to be disrespected like that, he counters that, saying he doesn't deserve a mother like her. "Don't be so cynical, I saw you! You're sleeping around with the fucking gardener!" You tell her, Santi! Having kicked some ass at the game of "Call your mom an alchie and a whore." Santi takes a victory lap. By which I mean, he leaves again.
Manuel's over at Juan's house, 'cause aw they're still friends. Juan shows him his dad's bedroom- because you've heard this before- where the magic happens. Only the magic isn't what you might think. No. In this case, the magic is a revolving bookcase revealing a secret room with all sorts of recording equipment, oh gasp! Juan is super excited, considering he's in his dad's masturbatorium and all. He even says he's got a special guest of his dad's that Manny would be interested in. He plays the DVD and oh shit no, it's Vanessa, his daddy's lawyer. Know he knows she got a favor out of him when she got him out of jail. Manny's pissed because she told him she was in love with her daddy, and she's pretty much the closest thing to a mom the poor kid's got. Juan's like, "Hey, don't let it get to you! Adults are scum! We already know all women are whores. Except for our moms, of course! Haha!" Aaaaaand I guess now we know how Juan's supposed to get photographic evidence of his daddy's minor-banging.
Speaking of! Cesar and Amelia are gettin' down and dirty until they hear a cell phone ringing and they freak out. There's a dude with a drink in his hand just sitting at Cesar's desk totally watching them! The guy fumbles around with his phone to shut it off and Cesar's like, "Senator! I thought our meeting wasn't until seven!" Senator dude says, "Oh, it is! But your door was ajar and I thought I'd uh...have a seat." Cesar and Amelia get up and try and make it look like like they weren't about to have sex before Cesar introduces Amelia to the senator. He just says something like, "They get younger every year!"
Back at titty bar! I mean, back at Hard Bar, the kids are dancing the night away when Alex walks by with a tray of drinks and Isa trips her. She gets some on her dress and she's all, "You stupid bitch! Look at this, you've ruined my dress!" Isa tries to make a big enough stink to get her fired but Alex says she can go ahead and keep her threats to herself because she isn't afraid of her. Isa knows it so she can do nothing but scowl. Esteban actually smiles at this. Not his "I'm better than you" smile, even. An actual smile. I think this is his first real smile in...ever.
Over at Diego's house, I realize just how tiny his room is in proportion to the enormity of the rest of the house. At least he has a cool balcony. And it's on this very balcony that Diego stands with his headphones and a glass of mysterious amber liquid. He's groovin' to his tunes when Santiago comes in. He actually tip toes over to him, taps him on the shoulder and goes "Hey!" to scare him. It was very playful and cute considering what a tight ass (haw) he usually is with Diego. He says "Hi! Christina let me in, what are you doing?"
Diego pours Santi a drink, "Oh, I was just listening to some music. Here, listen!" and he takes out one of his earbuds to share with Santi so they can stand there with their heads an inch apart (aw!) Santi's all, "Ooh, this is cool. What's it called?" Diego said the song was called something like "Aceptarlo" (Read: Accept it/Admit it. INTERESTING!)
Then Diego looks a little serious and asks, "So, are you going to tell me why you were acting so weird before you left last time?"
'What do you mean? I wasn't acting weird.'
"Yeah you were. You looked like you were mad about something. You were fine until Manuel came over. Are you sure it didn't bother you that Manuel stayed the night, too?"
And Santi comes clean! "Okay, fine. It did bother me a little. I felt weird.* You invited Manuel to stay the night with you, just like that."
Comprehension dawning, Diego smiles, "You were jealous!"
AND THE SHOW LEAVES YOU HANGING. The shit we saw in the preview didn't even happen! Unless it happens on Monday, which it better. I'm also hoping for more lesbian girl Laura action. Yay!
*Yeah, I know, "I felt weird" sounds like a weak translation, but here's a fun fact! In Spanish the line is "Me sentí raro." Ok. Raro = rare, strange, weird, unusual. So what's the big deal? Raro is a very common word used in association with teh gays. Ha, rare is common! So Santi was, in a way, saying "I felt gay" Don't you enjoy learning with Serge?
What else happens? Dorotea gets a call from PSP kid Miguel. He says he's waiting outside and when she lets him in he says he, too, would like some love squeezins! Dorotea's plan to seduce one of the GMS boys to get to the bottom of the rape case seems to be working. With sexy results! Is she going to bang him? Oh, shit! Stay tuned!
And finally, back at Hard Bar, Alex apologizes to her boss Pipe (That's pi-peh, not pype) for almost getting in a fight with Isa and for breaking those glasses. Pipe says she's got nothing to apologize about because he saw the whole thing happen and knows it wasn't her fault. Other than that, she had a great first day. Hooray!
David's outside waiting for her, as promised, but Esteban shows up, too. "What the hell are you doing here?" David's like, "What the hell are you doing here?"
'I'm giving Alex a ride home.'
"That's funny, I'm giving Alex a ride home."
'She won't be needing your services tonight, David. So get the hell out of here.'
There's more to it than that, but BORING! LET'S FIGHT!
David gets a good punch in when Alex comes out and is all :O
That's it! Another week!
¡Pásatelas super duuuper!
Every one of you, at some point, will be raped
Mint in box
Serge
I wish I could have been there, and I hope you don't hold it against me that I wasn't! I'm still a little sad over it.
The following is a short list of things I wish we could have done before you ruined your life (haha, jk):
-Punch some smelly slytherins in the face
-Comb the streets of San Fransisco with a video camera and find out, once and for all, what the homosexual agenda really is. Here is my guess: Go to gym. Buy milk. DESTABILIZE CHRISTIAN RIGHT AND SPIT ON INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE. Tivo Grey's Anatomy.
-Go to a movie and not forget my wallet at home
-Almost kill more pedestrians. Oh, no wait! You told me not to ever tell anyone about that. You can ignore that, everyone.
-Tell your brother not to go down on himself
-Where is it
Really, though, all my best! Much love and all that.
Last night I was walking from my room to the kitchen and I stepped right into a spider web. Don't you hate that? I do. Especially since it caught on my bare leg. That's how low it was, it caught on my fucking leg. It was, like, parallel to the ground and it caught my leg around my shin. What the hell kind of spider does that? Like I didn't have reason enough to hate spiders as it was. Fuck you, parallel web-spinning, leg-catching spider. Fuck you and all your brethren. And sistren. And brother-in-lawthren. Fuck all of you. Plus your fuckin' mother.
I don't really use my computer too often anymore, mostly because it's eleven years old and does little more than take up space and hold the poor music files I have left hostage because I have no means of getting them out. But since I've taken up writing the recaps for Niños Ricos, I've spent a lot of time just sitting around listening to what I still have clanking around in here. I recently found I still have Kibou no kane ga naru asa ni by The Alfee! Why should any of you care? You shouldn't, so don't worry about it. It was the theme song for Salaryman Kintarou, which was my very first J-drama! As such this song is dripping with what I understand is called sentimental value. It still gives me the warmest of warm fuzzies when I listen to it. Sure, to this day I have no idea what any of the lyrics mean, but so what? People all over the world listen to music in English with no idea what it means and they don't enjoy it any less.
If Nigga (No, really, that's what he calls himself.) says ROMANTIC STYLE IN DA WORLD one more time I will find him. I will find him and punch him. N-n-n-n-na-nai-not joking. I will move heaven and earth to find him and smack him one right in the face.
Maybe just a strongly worded email? I'm not a violent person by nature. Plus it saves me a roadtrip.
It's been a slow week. I'm feeling very blahful right now, but at the same time very hopeful because I know of a few places in town that are hiring. I need a job. You all know this. You're probably all sick of me bitching about this, as well you should be. Especially since getting a job means buying a new computer and getting internets and getting to talk to all of you again! Then you can all be sick of me for an entirely different set of reasons! Hooray!
To tide me over in the meantime, I went to work with Dad last weekend. It sucked but I did get some spending money. I haven't spent it yet because I really want to buy Juan Son's Mermaid Sashimi CD, among other things. The only problem is that I'd have to go to LA to find it, if not TJ. Eugh. Chava says he'll burn a copy for me but my mail carriers are notoriously suckful. So if he sends it and it gets lost I'll have to find a way to buy it anyway. He had a concert last Saturday and everyone was encouraged to wear costumes, I wish I could have gone! Stupid Mexico. Next time I go to Cuernavaca I'm looking up any and all music venues in the surrounding area. The only one I know of at the moment is called Krishna bar, I think.
I didn't know Midi from Moenia was in Jot dog! Chava, did you know this? And Jot dog isn't so named so that people like me accidentally say joto, is it? 'Cause that's kind of embarrassing. Especially if someone thinks I'm calling them a fag and I get smacked in the mouth. Boy, would my face be red. And not just from the busted capillaries.
Act now! Final full week of Niños Ricos updatery! This one's called, "Nothing happened!" or, "Santi's stiff drink!"
Just kidding. Go read now, Lor.
This is the last full week I'll write for you, Lor. I'd already written this out by the time we had our little chat and you said you pretty much just wanted Santiago/Diego goodness. There's some good stuff in here, but if you can't make it through, just chew on the stuff I wrote about the boys. You can do eet!
Back at the po-lice station, Manuel and Matías are getting a stern talking to by Manny's guardian/daddy's lawyer. Manuel doesn't really care, he's just mad she can't do anything to get the girls out of jail. She says they'll be fine as soon as a member of their family comes and sees them.
Esteban's chillin' in his room when he gets a visit from Matías. He says he's had quite a day, since, as you know, he wasn't at school. Esteban says, "You know, I didn't even notice." Mati tries to regain Esteban's interest by making him guess who he was with, but he just says, "Either spill it already or get the fuck out." so spill he does, they were with David's little sister, and with the gardener's little sister, too. But before he could seal the deal the whole house is ambushed by the special service, which I again assume is, like, their equivalent to those cats in SWAT we have stateside. Esteban calls bullshit, why would the special service be poking around Manny's house? Mati says that's the thing...it turns out Manuel is none other than the son of alias Don J!
Esteban's like...wtf? Manuel is that guy's son? We have to kick him the fuck out of our school, then! We can't be associating mobsters.
Good friend, that Esteban.
And over at Manuel's, he's packed a bag because he gots to get the hell up out of that house. By now, daddy's lawyer says the cops have got bugs and taps all over the place and the house is no longer safe. He can't use his cell phone either so he's going to have to lay low for a few days. Manny's gonna have to ask a friend if he can stay over for a few nights.
Amelia is in Juan's dad, Cesar's office. She aspires to be a politician. Or at the very least bang one. She's been going on and on to Cesar about how she'd like to see his office and learn more about his workaday world. Cesar asks Amelia how much time she's got. She says she's got all afternoon, and most of the evening, unless he needs more time, then she's got all night. Cesar says she can help out with this and that around the office, and of course she'll be paid for her troubles. Amelia says she's not in it for the money. Ew.
Later, over lunch, Cesar asks Amelia what her relationship with his son is. She says she cares for Juan, but not as anything other than a friend, no matter how badly he might want something more. She asks what made him ask something like that and he just says he wanted to make things clear.
Hrm!
David's dad has left the house. Aside from being an alchie on the downlow, it seems he's become something of a burden on the family. He leaves them a note that says he'll give them a call when he can get his shit together. Really, I don't know what he's planning.
Lucía is still at school talking to Mr. Donnelly. She asks him not to fire David's mom because she believes the incident earlier wasn't her fault either. What's more, she's still looking for a job, so she asks if she might come on as the cafeteria's administrator. She thinks she and David's mom can do well together, and wouldn't you know... she gets the job!
She meets Esteban's dad, Guillermo outside and he asks if he can give her a ride. She accepts, 'cause she's got an apartment to find! Still!
While on the apartment hunt, Guillermo takes some time to chat Lucía up. He says he's finally getting seperated from Monica, and the first thing he wants to do is --but Lucía has to stop him there. She says she's got enough on her plate as it is, she can't be in a relationship right now.
Guillermo concedes, but says this isn't the last time they talk about this.
Hooray! Lucía finds an apartment within her budget! And Guillermo is quick to point out it's got three bedrooms, even! One for Alex, one for her, and one for...what have you. They share a laugh and Guillermo says he really should think about where he's going to live. Lucía asks him if he has any savings and he says he has absolutely nothing, it's what he gets for leaving Monica in charge of his finances since..forever. Her errands done, Guillermo takes Lucía back to the De La Torre household.
Meanwhile, Veronica makes a visit to Monica. She needs a loan. Monica's sorry to hear that, but says she should ask her husband because she just gave him one. This is the part where Monica lets Veronica know that Robert is pretty much indebted to pretty much everyone they know. Pretty much. Veronica's like, I need a @()*%&# drink.
David comes home and finds his dad's note, and is appropriately distressted. And kind of pissed. And then he gets the call that Lola's in jail. He's a little more pissed now. So he and mom go down to der station and get her ass out. She tries to apologize but before she gets very much out mom gives her the ol' telenovela BITCHSLAP! Mom says she has enough to go on worrying about with her father leaving home without having to come and bail her shit out of jail, too.
David's not any happier, and has to remind Lola of all the shit he had to go through to try and get her back into school. She's still on academic probation and it's a stunt like this that could get her ass kicked out again.
Don't worry, Rocío got out too, and her sister was just as pissed.
Lucía's back at the De La Torre household and gives Roberto the good news, she's found a job, aaaaand an apartment. Roberto is glad to hear it and he doesn't want to sound rude, but he thinks it might be a good idea for her and Alex to leave as soon as they can. Lucía knows all about Roberto's problems and she says she can't just leave after all he's done for her. Roberto says he has nothing to thank her for, and besides, her pay would be better spent covering her own and Alex's expenses. He'll think of a way to get out of this mess.
And just when you think we're going to have a third Santiago-free episode in a row...there he is! At the very end.
Veronica and Roberto are having a shouting match to end all shouting matches. Just then the door bell rings. It's Santiago. Why Santiago has to ring the door bell at his own house is a mystery to me. He hears what's goin' down and wants to know what the crap is going on...so he asks them what the crap is going on. Veronica says it's none of his damn business. "So stop screaming so everyone can hear." he says. But Roberto says Santiago has a right to know. It's not like he won't find out anyway. Roberto says, "Santiago, we're ruined. We've lost everything but the house, and I'm putting it up for sale."
Santiago doesn't actually seem all that shocked, which is weird.
Veronica starts in again, saying Roberto pissed away their fortune gambling. Not to be outdone, Roberto says Veronica could have helped by not giving in to her crazymad spend lust. Before they can bitch at each other some more, Santi interrupts them.
"Hey! Congratulations. Really! We've---well, you've finally managed to break our happy little family apart! You know what? I'm leaving. I'm not going to stick around to see what my two 'idols' make of this situation." And off he trots to his room.
Now, he could go to Diego's house, but my guess is he'll move in with aunt Lucía and Alex and live in that wondrous 3rd bedroom of hers. He already loves them more than his parents.
-
Tuesday! And Diego lives! More on that later.
Alex is going all over town looking for a job. No luck, until Anaís says she's friends with this dude who owns a bar downtown, she's sure he owes her a favor so maybe she can help. So they hit up the club, haaaay. Anaís says this'll be easy because she's this bar's best customer and worst nightmare. Haw. Long story short, just as Anaís expected, the guy is more than happy to accomodate Alex. She'll be working from six to midnight and she can start the next day. Huzzah!
David and family are freaking out because dad's left home. Still. Mom and Lola are praying their asses off.
Manuel makes the mistake of going to Esteban's house to ask for a place to stay. Esteban ain't too happy about this. He asks Manny why he never bothered to tell them he was Don Jorge's son. Not only is his dad a known felon, he's the most wanted COLOMBIAN DRUG LORD, YEAH! in the country. Manuel did it to keep him and his dad safe. That's all well and good for him, but that leaves all of his friends more or less exposed. Manuel says he never thought of it that way. So Esteban says if he'd had some consideration and been up front about this sooner he might have been able to help him. As it stands, he's not letting Manuel stay the night. And then Esteban even tells one of his bodyguards not to ever let his shit on the premises again. Aw.
We're at Diego's house and everyone's favorite curly haired something-or-other stops by! Santiago asks if he can maybe stay the night and obviously Diego's like, "Of course you can, Santi! You know you're welcome anytime." (Yes, I forgot to mention Diego is the only person who uses the diminutive form Santi) Cavalier though he were wif his mommy and daddy, Santiago actually seems sad now. He tells Diego he might have to stay for a few days or more on account of his family's ruined now. It turns out his dad is a compulsive gambler and he lost his family's entire fortune at der bettin' tables. Mom and dad are putting the house up for sale and he really can't be there right now. He says if he keeps breathing the air at his house, he's liable to be found hanging in his room. The doorbell rings and Diego goes to answer, as he goes he reiterates that it's not a problem, but says playfully to Santiago that if he tries to pull any of that shit here he's in for some trouble.
Wouldn't you know, it's Manuel!
He walks in, backpack in hand and asks if he can have a place to stay, adding, "And before the two of you say anything, yeah...I'm a drug lord's son."
Diego and Santiago just stare at each other.
David's dad is still cruising around town looking for work, handouts, et al. He ends up in a church begging a priest for help because he's become a burden on his family. Priest dude tries to level with him and says if his family still loves him he'll never be a burden --so go the fuck home. He calls up the family and they all want him to come home too, but he won't tell them where he is and he's not coming home yet. Still don't know what the shit he's up thinking.
Back at the Aguirre house, Diego says to Manuel that he doesn't care what his father is, and he'd be happy to help. However! He still has to ask his mom and see if she's okay with it, if she says no then there's not a whole lot he can do. Manuel understands and says he's just glad he wasn't turned away at the door. A somewhat insulted Santiago adds, "You know we're not like those shallow brats at school." and Manuel feels better, then realizes Santiago's over so late and asks, "Hey, I'm sorry. Were you two working on something?" Santiago goes, "Yeah. Diego was just cheering me up. It's become a hobby of his."
Diego comes back in and puts his arms around Santi and Manuel, "Guess what! It looks like the three of us are going to be bunking together!"
And you can almost hear the theme to Three's Company theme reverberating through the Colombian air.
Diego's mom comes in and says Manuel can stay a few nights, but he really should think of another place to stay. "I'm not kicking you out, and I'm not worried about our safety, I'm worried about yours." Manuel says, "I understand, ma'am. I'm grateful for you letting me stay, and I'll do my best to stay out of your way while I'm here. If you don't mind, I'll be in the garden. I'd like to be alone for a while." After Manuel goes outside, Diego's mom thinks she should go out and talk to him, leaving Santi and Diego alone again. Santiago's like, "Um, Diego? Where are we going to sleep?" He thinks about it for a second and is all, "Don't even worry about that. We'll figure something out." And then it dawns on him, "Oh! I'm sorry! Does it bother you that Manuel is staying with us?" But Santi's like, "Of course not. This is your house, and if having Manuel here doesn't bother you then I'm not worried either." So off goes Diego, presumably to figure out the sleeping arrangements, leaving Santiago alone and looking kind of sad again. Aw.
Guillermo's on his way home only to find Monica waiting for him on the front steps. He spots some briefcases and asks, "What's this?" Monica says it's his severance package. Guillermo laughs it off and says that's fine, he's just going to go inside to check and see if there's anything he might have overlooked. But Monica's like, nuh-uh, bitch. "I've already told security not to let you inside without my authorization." 'So give me your authorization.' "I won't." And then she takes his housekeys, oh shit. Still not altogether surprised or pissed, Guillermo says, "Let me guess. You've drained my bank account, haven't you?" 'Heavens, no! I'm not a monster, you know. I've left you a little something. I think its enough for you to find someplace to lay your head. Oh, and tell that lover of yours that she's next.'
Still laughing, Guillermo says, "Oh, I will! I'll let her know." Monica tries to get the last word in by saying she knows he'll come crawling back. He says, "No. I don't think I will. Goodbye! Whore." And off he drives!
It's kinda funny, I guess. Considering Lucía kinda doesn't want anything to do with Guillermo at the moment.
(Fun fact! What he actually calls monica is 'zorra' which is the female genitive of fox. Unlike in English, calling somebody a fox in spanish is NOT a compliment. Do not call a woman a fox. What you are doing is calling her a slut. Unless she IS a slut, in which case, go crazy)
So a little later, Esteban finds Monica and asks where Guillermo is. She tells him that he's left to go with his lover. Esteban's like, "That's funny. I thought the one who was all about the partying and extra-marital affairs was you." Monica is displeased. "I suppose you're going to take his side, then?" He says, "Monica, I really don't have any interest in taking sides, but now that I think about it, you did mention something to me about a military school in the states? Let's just say I'm on your side and we can forget all that ugliness, yeah?"
Monica thinks it over and agrees to his terms. "Aren't we clever?" Esteban lays his head in Monica's lap and says, "Well, I am your son. Aren't you proud of me? I do feel sorry for dad, though. You're going to destroy him, aren't you?"
Lucía's in Alex's room, telling her that uncle Roberto and aunt Veronica are going bankrupt now, so the best thing for the both of them is to leave as soon as they can. Alex is like, where the crap are we going to go? So mom's like...I found a job! And an apartment! We. Are. Fucking. Set! Alex is kinda mad she waited so long to let her know, but she's glad. Still, she feels bad. She wants to help her aunt and uncle out 'cause they've done nothing but help since they came to their door. Lucía agrees but she says they'll have plenty to be going on with, what with their new expenses.
Alex is all, "Oh, don't worry, I'll help! I got a new job too!" Lucía is displeased.
She wants to know what binnis Alex has getting a job without her permission when she should be studying. She also wants to know where this place is, and she wants to check it out herself. Alex begs her not to, 'cause that shit would be embarrassing.
So where does Guillermo go when he's down and out? Why, to Eduardo's house! Otherewise known as Isa's daddy. Guillermo is grateful for having a friend like Eduardo to count on. Eduardo says he can stay as long as he needs. What a pal!
Guess who's at Amelia's house? Yep. Juan's dad. Amelia wants it bad, and Cesar wants to give it to her. Kind of. He keeps thinking her parents are going to come home but she keeps telling him they won't be home for months. So he finally starts getting into it until the doorbell starts ringing. Cesar freaks out, and with good reason, because it's Juan at the door. And he is livid. He's disgusted by his dad, and thinks he got Amelia drunk so he could fuck her. Not that he's any happier with Amelia, he still calls her a whore (Zorra! There's that word again!) Cesar gets up and tries to explain and Juan's like, "Oh! What! Are you going to hit me or something? 'Cause that's really all that's left, isn't it? Come on! Hit me!"
Oh, silly Juan. Daddy doesn't want to hit you! He just wants to fuck your girlfriend.
This scene here disturbs me. Because Isa's dad creeps me the fuck out. It's late and he's come to call at Monica's house, he's just heard she and Guillermo split up and he's come to console her. Which is novela speak for "Let's fuck on the dining room table. Now." So they totally do. No subtle nuance like with your main gays, no. Just incredibly creepy relations. And kind of graphic considering neither of them took any of their clothes off during the scene. Ew.
-
It's Wednesday! That means it's hump day. Here and on NR, too! Oh wait. That was last night.
The morning is here, and Esteban is up bright and early as Isa's dad is gettin' up out of Monica's room. Ever the cheerful young man, Esteban says, "Good morning, Eduardo! I was just wondering. What's Isa's father, my would-be father-in-law doing sneaking out of Monica's room like he was a teenager? Also, I was wondering why you look like you've just showered?" Eduardo don't appreciate this lip, he says he heard Guillermo and Monica had just split up and he thought she could use a friend. He only showered there because they were up all night talking and he's got to go to work. Esteban's like...yeah, that's nice, 'cause he doesn't believe his story at all.
After he leaves, Esteban goes to mommy dearest's room, where she is just waking up.
"My, don't we look tired? Long night?" Then comes the part where Esteban shows how good he is at saying some really nasty things while sounding perfectly casual and friendly. Kid doesn't even bat an eye. Followed by the part where mom brings the telenovela BITCHSLAP! but oh! Instead of standing there and taking it like people in telenovelas do, like, 98% of the time, Esteban catches her, mid-bitch. Pride-obliterating BITCHSLAP! deflected, Esteban reminds mommy how disgusted he is by her, and is off on his merry little way.
It's breakfast time at Casa de Diego! The boys are in their unis and mom is all dressed and ready to go. Diego's mom tells the boys to hurry and finish breakfast so she can get going too. Manuel gets up and says again how grateful he is for the two of them letting him stay. Diego once again tells him he doesn't blame him for what his father does, it's not like he chose it. He tries to get it through Manny's head that that's what friends are for and gives him a very sweet hug.which Manny is only too happy to return. Santiago thanks them again, too, and he hopes that he won't have to bother them again. Diego's mom, Aura is all like, pfft, you dumb bitches know you're always welcome. She asks if they're ready to go to school yet because she's got to go.
Diego asks why she's so dressed up so early in the morning and she says it's because she starts her new job today. An excited Diego gives mommy a kiss and wishes her good luck. She says she'll wait for the boys in the car and leaves, with Manny running behind to follow her, leaving Diego alone with Santi. Now, the look that Diego gives Santiago, I cannot even describe to you, Lor. It would have been a good time for their theme song of forlorn secret gay yearning. If you could have seen it it would have broken you. I tried to warn Iván but I think it broke him, too.
David and Alex are suspended, as you know, so David is off to comb the city looking for his father. Alex is such a sweetie she says she wants to go with and help him look. Isn't that cute?
As for pop, he's still at the church he spent the night in. The priest is once again trying to get him to go home. Dad says he's already called home and says they didn't even notice he was gone. "Don't you see my family doesn't even miss me? You've got to help me!" Priest dude is like, even so---you need to go home and get the hell up out of here. And then, oh shit. His flask falls out of his pocket and now priest dude is pissed. Dad tries to explain that he really is sick, even if he exaggerated a little. Priest dude ain't havin' this and kicks him out of the Lord's house.
Time for school! Esteban's in Mr. Donnelly's office. He's still under suspension too, but it's ok, he's not attending class. He's got more important shit to take care of, anyway. Like telling Mr. Donnelly that he needs to kick Manuel De la Rosa the fuck out of GMS. -- Have I told you the name of their school yet? Because I'm not exactly sure, up until now it's always blurred. I thought it maybe contained a word that was perfectly acceptable in Colombia, but maybe considered a vulgar term to a predominantly Mexican/Puerto Rican/Cuban/whatever, stateside audience. Because that happens, believe it or not! I can't think of any examples off the top of my head, but a word considered completely benign in Mexico can be a horribly vulgar term in, say, Argentina. "Hello!" = "Suck my dick, person of ill-repute!" It's not unlike how in the UK and Australia they say bum bags instead of fannypacks because over there fanny means pussy. Learning is fun!
Another reason their school name has been blurred up until now might be 'cause they just plain fucked up. During the times I've managed to find their school name un-blurred it says Gimnasio Moderno San Simon. Okay. But the other night they didn't bother to blur it and it said Gimnasio Mixto San Simon. So maybe someone fucked up what the school was supposed to be called and just blurred that shit until they could fix all the signs? I don't know. Gimnasio Moderno San Simon or Gimnasio Mixto San Simon? I don't know! "Elite Way School" was so much easier and in English. Enough of my rambling! --
So like I was saying, Esteban wants Manuel out. He says Manuel De La Rosa isn't actually Manuel De La Rosa. He's really Manuel Cervantes, son of Jorge Cervantes, also known as Don Jorge, the most wanted man in the country. Never mind the fact that daddy's a COLOMBIAN DRUG LORD, YEAH! it means that Manuel enrolled using bogus documents and that alone should be enough to kick him the fack out.
If that's not enough, he knows that a lot of the students and parents are already talking about it, and they already want him out, too.
Recess time is heeeeeere! Matías and PSP kid Miguel sneak off to THE BROAD-ASS SIDE OF A BUILDING to smoke some gonj! This next part gets a little fuzzy because my attention was elswhere at the time (it takes a lot to distract me from NR, but that's neither here nor there!) but the gist of it is, Miguel's thinking about trading up, he's tired of his car and he's had his eye on...wow! The same exact model Mati drives! Matías says he'll be more than willing to help in exchange for say....some piccies of Miguel's sister? PSP kid Miguel looks offended for, like, less than a second before he's all, "Sure!" But wait, on second thought, Mati wants some video footage of his sister. Whatever will she be doing in said video footage? I wonder! But it looks like Miguel is getting a new car.
Just then, Juan comes running to join them, "Heeeeey! Don't smoke it all without me, gimme a puff!"
With the three of them now nicely toasted, Juan says he's got an idea to run by them. Remember when I told you Juan likes to take pictures? You 'member! Well! He wants to take a picture of his daddy gettin' it on with Amelia, a minor, and post the shit out of it on the interwebs! Thus, ruining daddy's political career, and totally stickin' to Amelia.
After all this hooplah with Esteban, Mr. Donnelly has to call Manuel into his office. He says that as of tomorrow, he is to be expelled from GMS forevar and evar. Manuel thinks this is bullshit. It's not his fault how his father makes his money, he didn't inherit his father's crimes. Mr. Donnelly actually agrees with Manny, and he doesn't want to expel him, but his hands are tied on the matter. The students and their parents have already started complaining.
Back in class, the kids are making a great mess of noise like they usually do when Manuel busts in on them and asks for everyone's attention. He's pissed and he wants to know who's been talking le shit. Nobody says anything, so Manny continues the attack. "That's fine. But before I go I just wanted to let you know that you're no different! Your parents are just as shady, just as crooked, just as corrupt, if not worse than my dad!"
Juliana pops up and says he's absolutely right, and she doesn't think it's cool that they're kicking him out. Diego and Santiago, of course, also stand up. Anaís gets up and says, "Yeah, I'm with them, everyone knows our parents should'v been locked up long ago for all the shit they pull." Eventually, everyone's on their feet, all hot with righteous anger.
Mauro comes in when it's time for class and he asks what's going on. PSP kid Miguel's like, "Can't you see we're in the middle or something?" and when Mr. Donnelly comes in the kids all boo him and huck wads of paper at him. Diego tried to throw a paper airplane and it was the most pitifully adorable thing I've ever seen. He whips his arm out of nowhere and it hits PSP kid Miguel in the back before it can go anywhere.
Mr. Donnelly tries to calm the kids down and says the situation is out of his hands. He doesn't want Manuel expelled either but he's got orders to follow.
Meanwhile, Esteban joins Isa in the country club's sauna. I only mention this boring scene because it ends with Isa once again, going down on Esteban. And I mention that because my question is this: If Esteban responds to this, then why not just shut Isa the hell up by fucking her after she gets him all hotted up that way? I think about these things. Does erectile disfunction not apply to dick suckery? I don't know! Do you know? 'Cause I don't know.
And we've reached the end of Wednesday with David and Alex. David gets a phone call from the po-lice. He goes white and when he hangs up Alex asks what's wrong. David says they've found his father. And he's dead.
Oh!
-
You've made it to Thursday! I hope! Here's what happened, hard and fast!
With a lump in his throat the size of a small woodland creature, David gallantly makes his way to the hospital morgue with Alex by his side. He's asked to identify the body and....OH MY GOD! Oh, wait. It's not his dad. False alarm, false alarm! Sorry, everybody! Having braved the sights of random dead guy with David, Alex says she's got to go now, she really has to get ready for her first day at work. David's so glad Alex came with him he offers to drive her home after work. She tries to say no but he insists. What a sweetie.
The kiddies at school are all out in the hall now, still yelling for Manuel to be reinstated. That is, until Juliana takes a few steps up the stairs and goes. ".......Well. We've all done what we came here for. Now that we've gotten out of class I think we can stop." Juan jumps up next to her and is pretty much like, "Are you shitting me? That's all you did this for?" and she's like, bitch, please. This is boring. I'm done. So Anaís hops up to join Juan. "Well, you're not alone. I wasn't joking, I want to help Manuel, too!" But one by one, the other kids just turn around and leave. Gasp! Even Santiago and Diego. What the shit? That pissed me off.
Meanwhile, Santiago's dad Roberto is getting punched in the stomach by some hired goons at one of the many casinos he owes a shitwad of money at. That's right, shitwad.
The owner wants to discuss Roberto's wowbig debt and Roberto assures him that he's going to pay every last cent he owes.
But the guy already knows this. Because he knows Roberto wouldn't want anything to happen to his son.
Oh noes!
Outside the school campus, Manuel is havin' in out with his lawyer. He wants to know why she isn't doing a better job of getting his ass back in school. She already tried reasoning with Mr. Donnelly, but he said She'll have to take it up with somebody parental comitte (Their answer to the PTA? I don't know.) She doesn't understand why Manuel wouldn't rather go to some other school, anyway. She says she can even get him into some school in the states but Manny ain't havin' it. He says he won't give the other kids the pleasure, he's staying riiiiiight here. Besides, he's still got a score to settle with whoever's behind him getting the boot. Whoever it was still has to pay. in blood.
Oh snap!
Esteban and Isa are still gettin' all hot and bothered in the sauna when they get caught by this scandalized woman who works at the country club. She demands they get out and get dressed, she's calling their parents! Esteban's like, "Lady, you don't scare us. I don't make a point to do what underlings tell me to. Now, if you don't mind, Isa and I are going to go and continue elsewhere. Unless you'd like to join us and watch, that is?" Bitch looks affronted and --wait for it-- gets all appropriately ape-faced! "Some other time, then."
Roberto goes to Manny's lawyer's office asking for her to lend him some money. He needs it bad. Roberto fills her in on his current financial situation and she agrees. But there's a catch. Roberto's in the parental comittee thinger and in exchange for her monies, she wants him to make a case for Manuel to be re-enrolled at GMS. Mmm, money troubles.
Manuel is leaving school when Juan catches up to him to stop him. He tells him about the scene all the students made on behalf, and how badly it ended. "Look, the only kids who really stood up for you were Anaís and me. That means any one of the other kids could be in on the whole thing. Any one of them could have gotten you kicked out!" Manuel isn't surprised, "I don't trust anyone anymore. I'll tell you one thing, though. I don't have any proof, but I'm almost positive it was Esteban and Matías who got me expelled. Don't think this is over yet."
I like this scene. Why? 'Cause Juan calls Manuel Manuelín. Not exactly a diminutive form since it's actually longer than his name, but still a very sweet endearment. To me, at least. Just like Santi! It means Juan must really wuv Manuel! Aw.
Gardener boy Gabriel is once again in Veronica's car, oh my! He's a little mad at Veronica because he thinks she just used him for love squeezins (See? I'm down with the Boosh) She says the whole "I bought you a shitload of gardening tools, machines and other such implements only to have the check bounce and totally not fix it like I said I would by now" thing has a perfectly logical explanation. Santiago sees them together again, oh no! Luckily, he's on his bike this time, so he don't waste no time following them. He sees the two of them heading into their little booty call next and the look on his face was somewhere between :( and >O
Having once been rebuffed by some goons working for some dude named Don Comanche for trying to panhandle on the street, David's dad Rafael now has no choice but to ask Don Comanche himself for permission to beg for munny on his turf. Comanche man says he can beg in his territory, in exchange for 75% of whatever he earns. He looks pitiful enough, but he'll be nice and even give him a wheelchair to beg in so people can feel even more sorry for him. At the end of the day he collects around a hundred bucks (WHAT) and Comanche gives him, like, twenty. He says he's including the wheelchair and costume rental. Haw!
Lola apparently don't have shit to do, so she goes to her local head of thuggery again. She says she needs help finding her dad. Still harboring a soft spot (not to mention a raging boner) for our dear Lola, he tells her not to worry, he'll have his best men looking for her dad.
And they do. They spot him panhandling in Don Comanche territory. Thuggeriffic is displeased.
I smell gang war. Yeah!
Esteban and Isa are in the boss's office at the country club and he's not very thrilled with what they were caught doing. He even calls Isa's dad and lets him know his daughter was found in a compromising position. Isa's dad says he'll be right over to straighten this whole mess out.
Now fully dressed, the two of them don't really feel like sticking around anymore and they tell the dude they're leaving because he can't really do anything about it if they want to leave. He says they can't leave, he just called Isa's father and he's on his way. Isa's like, "Look, you. I'm leaving, don't even think I'm going to wait around. My father's a busy man, so you'd better not waste too much of his time." And with that, they're gone.
When Isa's dad gets there, the first thing he does is grab the dude by the collar and says, "Listen, you're going to keep your trap shut about what happened with my daughter today or I'm going to have to let slip how you've been sexually harrassing all the waitresses, you got that?"
Is that dude really boning waitresses? Did Eduardo just make that shit up 'cause he knows he's got enough sway at that club that everyone will believe him?
Interesting shit!
Because Esteban can't stay from her, he drops by to see Alex. She says she ain't got no time to be sufferin' fools, she's got to go to work. Esteban: "You've got a job?" More pissed by the second Alex: "That's right. We can't all be waited on hand and foot." Verbally bitchslapped Esteban: "I didn't mean it like that, so where do you work?" Alex says she's working at a bar and Esteban's like whoa, you shouldn't be working at a bar. Alex don't give a shit, as a matter of fact, she thinks it's effing tits. But if she doesn't leave right now she's gonna be late, so get the fuck out the way!
Back at his house, Esteban kicks it with Matías. Mati tells him all about the student uprising for Manuel's benefit that ended with everyone just pretty much leaving. Esteban's like, "I'm gone for one day and the students are already showing solidarity? Aw, hell naw. It looks like we're going to have to remind them who's in charge of things." 'Even your lovely little Alex?' "Her most of all."
Alex gets to her worky work job and she gets a call from lesbian girl Laura! She's all, "Hey, friend! What are you up to?" 'I'm at work, so I can't talk right now. And since when are you and I friends?' "Oh, you have a job? Where do you work?" 'I work at Hard Bar.' "You work at Hard Bar? That's great! Well, I guess you're busy so I'll let you go, then. Bye!<3" Alex hangs up the phone and is all, "Annoying." She finds boss man and he says it's time for her to get changed 'cause he needs her out there right away. Alex is confused by the whole 'get changed' thing and boss dude's like, "Oh! I forgot to tell you. We do theme nights and our waitresses dress up accordingly. Tonight's cat night." Alex sees one of the waitresses walk by and she's all, "You want me to wear that? No way! What if some guy tries to get fresh with me?"
"Relax, it's not that bad. We don't have those kind of customers here, but it somebody tries to start anything with you or any of the girls I'm right here and so is security. You've got nothing to worry about."
Back at casa de bitch, lesbian girl Laura is like, "Omg! You'll never guess who's working at Hard Bar! Alex!" And Isa's like ugh i hate that bit-really? Right away she's on the horn with Esteban saying they should hit up Hard Bar tonight. Esteban agrees but immediately tells Mati to tag along with them or else Isa will think it's supposed to be some kind of date or some shit. Mati is all too willing to come with, "Hell yeah! Tonight is cat night, man! Yummy yum yum!"
The four of them make it to Hard Bar and order some drinks. Wouldn't you know it, the waitress that brings them over is none other than Alex, now sporting a little pink dress and kitty cat ears. She's not happy to see them, o'course! Also, she's like, "I can't serve alcohol to minors. I'm going to have to see some ID."
Aw shit, son!
If you've managed to read this far down again, hooray! And I promise you Friday is going to be the greatest ep of all time! Even better than lesbian girl Laura and cat night at Hard Bar, I promise!
Here, I'll even give you a hint even though you won't be reading this until next week anyway. And there's no suspense because you don't have to wait a whole 'nother night to read for Friday's ep. I'm telling you anyway. The preview for Friday shows our favorite curly haired so-and-so and a flashback of his FANTASTIBAD MISADVENTURES IN VAGINAL SPELUNKING. Plus Diego declaring his love for Santiago once and for all. And moving in for a kiss.
I guess that'll keep you with a modicum of suspense for at least a few paragraphs.
-
Fucking eh, it's Friday! And all that shit I just wrote about? That shit right up there? Totally didn't happen. No. Well, not the wanton declarations of homosexual affection, unless you count lesbian girl Laura licking her lips at Alex in her pink kitty dress. But you'll see.
I didn't break my promise! Telemundo broke theirs!
I'm so disillusioned by this that my brain is all bamboozled, so some of tonight's recap may be erratic and out of order, if not driven completely from my mind.
Hard Bar! Alex repeats to Isa that if they want the drinks they ordered they're going to have to show some ID. They all whip out their fake IDs and she's like.....okay. Whatever. Isa tries to talk shit about the way she's dressed, but Matías doesn't seem to have any complaints, and lesbian girl Laura, as I said, actually licks her lips at her. She tries calling Alex friend again and she's all, "I already told you, I'm not your friend." Oh, lesbian girl Laura! You're going to get yourself into trouble one of these days. Meow.
Hey, lookit that, Santiago's back at home. What's the first order of business, Santi? Yellin' at your mom, the whore, of course! Oh, they have it out. Santiago can't believe she would stoop to that. Daddy pisses away the family fortune and mom's a lush who loves certain other pleasures as well. Veronica gets mad and says she doesn't deserve to be disrespected like that, he counters that, saying he doesn't deserve a mother like her. "Don't be so cynical, I saw you! You're sleeping around with the fucking gardener!" You tell her, Santi! Having kicked some ass at the game of "Call your mom an alchie and a whore." Santi takes a victory lap. By which I mean, he leaves again.
Manuel's over at Juan's house, 'cause aw they're still friends. Juan shows him his dad's bedroom- because you've heard this before- where the magic happens. Only the magic isn't what you might think. No. In this case, the magic is a revolving bookcase revealing a secret room with all sorts of recording equipment, oh gasp! Juan is super excited, considering he's in his dad's masturbatorium and all. He even says he's got a special guest of his dad's that Manny would be interested in. He plays the DVD and oh shit no, it's Vanessa, his daddy's lawyer. Know he knows she got a favor out of him when she got him out of jail. Manny's pissed because she told him she was in love with her daddy, and she's pretty much the closest thing to a mom the poor kid's got. Juan's like, "Hey, don't let it get to you! Adults are scum! We already know all women are whores. Except for our moms, of course! Haha!" Aaaaaand I guess now we know how Juan's supposed to get photographic evidence of his daddy's minor-banging.
Speaking of! Cesar and Amelia are gettin' down and dirty until they hear a cell phone ringing and they freak out. There's a dude with a drink in his hand just sitting at Cesar's desk totally watching them! The guy fumbles around with his phone to shut it off and Cesar's like, "Senator! I thought our meeting wasn't until seven!" Senator dude says, "Oh, it is! But your door was ajar and I thought I'd uh...have a seat." Cesar and Amelia get up and try and make it look like like they weren't about to have sex before Cesar introduces Amelia to the senator. He just says something like, "They get younger every year!"
Back at titty bar! I mean, back at Hard Bar, the kids are dancing the night away when Alex walks by with a tray of drinks and Isa trips her. She gets some on her dress and she's all, "You stupid bitch! Look at this, you've ruined my dress!" Isa tries to make a big enough stink to get her fired but Alex says she can go ahead and keep her threats to herself because she isn't afraid of her. Isa knows it so she can do nothing but scowl. Esteban actually smiles at this. Not his "I'm better than you" smile, even. An actual smile. I think this is his first real smile in...ever.
Over at Diego's house, I realize just how tiny his room is in proportion to the enormity of the rest of the house. At least he has a cool balcony. And it's on this very balcony that Diego stands with his headphones and a glass of mysterious amber liquid. He's groovin' to his tunes when Santiago comes in. He actually tip toes over to him, taps him on the shoulder and goes "Hey!" to scare him. It was very playful and cute considering what a tight ass (haw) he usually is with Diego. He says "Hi! Christina let me in, what are you doing?"
Diego pours Santi a drink, "Oh, I was just listening to some music. Here, listen!" and he takes out one of his earbuds to share with Santi so they can stand there with their heads an inch apart (aw!) Santi's all, "Ooh, this is cool. What's it called?" Diego said the song was called something like "Aceptarlo" (Read: Accept it/Admit it. INTERESTING!)
Then Diego looks a little serious and asks, "So, are you going to tell me why you were acting so weird before you left last time?"
'What do you mean? I wasn't acting weird.'
"Yeah you were. You looked like you were mad about something. You were fine until Manuel came over. Are you sure it didn't bother you that Manuel stayed the night, too?"
And Santi comes clean! "Okay, fine. It did bother me a little. I felt weird.* You invited Manuel to stay the night with you, just like that."
Comprehension dawning, Diego smiles, "You were jealous!"
AND THE SHOW LEAVES YOU HANGING. The shit we saw in the preview didn't even happen! Unless it happens on Monday, which it better. I'm also hoping for more lesbian girl Laura action. Yay!
*Yeah, I know, "I felt weird" sounds like a weak translation, but here's a fun fact! In Spanish the line is "Me sentí raro." Ok. Raro = rare, strange, weird, unusual. So what's the big deal? Raro is a very common word used in association with teh gays. Ha, rare is common! So Santi was, in a way, saying "I felt gay" Don't you enjoy learning with Serge?
What else happens? Dorotea gets a call from PSP kid Miguel. He says he's waiting outside and when she lets him in he says he, too, would like some love squeezins! Dorotea's plan to seduce one of the GMS boys to get to the bottom of the rape case seems to be working. With sexy results! Is she going to bang him? Oh, shit! Stay tuned!
And finally, back at Hard Bar, Alex apologizes to her boss Pipe (That's pi-peh, not pype) for almost getting in a fight with Isa and for breaking those glasses. Pipe says she's got nothing to apologize about because he saw the whole thing happen and knows it wasn't her fault. Other than that, she had a great first day. Hooray!
David's outside waiting for her, as promised, but Esteban shows up, too. "What the hell are you doing here?" David's like, "What the hell are you doing here?"
'I'm giving Alex a ride home.'
"That's funny, I'm giving Alex a ride home."
'She won't be needing your services tonight, David. So get the hell out of here.'
There's more to it than that, but BORING! LET'S FIGHT!
David gets a good punch in when Alex comes out and is all :O
That's it! Another week!
¡Pásatelas super duuuper!
Every one of you, at some point, will be raped
Mint in box
Serge