Tired of things
So I am really just kind of tired of starting to think things are turning around and then getting kicked in the nuts so hard it makes me feel just empty. I am tired of putting forth effort to try to make things better. It just seems that every time I take a step forward I am kick back down, but this one might have snapped something. I am at work right now and even told the boss I am working with today, "I might work today, I just don't know if I feel like it." Well she understands what is going on and really isn't technically my boss, but is kind of in charge of me....really long story. Well two days ago I applied for an IT job at my job. YESTERDAY, I got a call for them wanting to set up an interview. I was extremely excited because damn I had just put in my application. Well she was asking about me and things, but then asked me about the DML I was on. DML = Decision Making Leave. I am on one for a bull shit reason that in all honesty everyone I talk to says I should take them to court on, but I really don't want to go into it right now. She tells me that I am unable to transfer due to corporate having a rule that they won't take anyone that is on a DML. She said when I am off of my DML to for sure reapply. That is great they seem like they really want me.....now here is the kick in the nuts that broke me. DMLs last 1.5 years.....I have been on it for about 6 months, so that means for one year I can't even apply to jobs in corporate. I am just so frustrated and unsure with how things are. I understand in my past I have done some pretty bad shit and yes Karma can be a bitch, but damn I have been trying to make up for past mistakes for way too long now. Just wish the ball would fall in my court and when I pick it up to run with it, I don't get stopped by some wall that I can't even see to get around. I guess that is it.