Boy, this has been a colorful year
My dad is in hospital, basically dying of cancer. I got a call a few days ago, and I feel sad and like I should do something... more than I can. If I didn't have the job I have now, I probably would quit and move with my mum for a while, to be there, to not let her be alone.
He's had a cancer for a while, and was operated a few weeks back, but it hit back, and mum thinks he will not make it for long.
I live a few thousand miles from them, and can't make it to see them this Xmas. Mum will be alone for the holidays... and eventually.
When she called, I cried. Mum took it better than I did.
And I had problems sleeping that night. Memories and thoughts...
My grandma died a few days before Xmas, when I was four. She had called my mum just before, and she was expecting us for Xmas holidays. She fell on the floor, and as they lived far from the civilization, did not have nor phone neither electricity (she walked to a neighbor when she had to call or be called), there was nothing to do, the help came hours late. My mum fell to depression for quite a while.
At least on the funerals they had all family and cousins and uncles etc.
When my other grandma died, I was very young too. Again all her children were there, all their children, friends and family.
Now my parents are the oldest of their clans.
Mum said since dad was taken to hospital, none of his siblings (and it's not a small number) has called him. The closest one, by distance from the hospital (perhaps 1 mile) hasn't seen him for a while (the story goes he loaned money from my dad, and does not want to pay back. This would according to my mum and cousin have pissed off another uncle, but the bottom line isn't that - it's their brother being dying). The others... once the time will be, I don't think any of the siblings living more far than 20 miles will be there. Friends and others living close by, hopefully. (I hate funerals, as they are lots of sad people being too late to realize what they could have done when their friends and relatives were there still amongst them. But sometimes people aren't there even before.. or after).
Living where she or they live alone is something I could never do. I'm urban, living in the middle of nothing and no neighbors around scares me. Sleeping alone scares me. And the thought of her being there alone scares me.
When you were most of your life with someone and you know they won't be there for long with you is sad.
He's had a cancer for a while, and was operated a few weeks back, but it hit back, and mum thinks he will not make it for long.
I live a few thousand miles from them, and can't make it to see them this Xmas. Mum will be alone for the holidays... and eventually.
When she called, I cried. Mum took it better than I did.
And I had problems sleeping that night. Memories and thoughts...
My grandma died a few days before Xmas, when I was four. She had called my mum just before, and she was expecting us for Xmas holidays. She fell on the floor, and as they lived far from the civilization, did not have nor phone neither electricity (she walked to a neighbor when she had to call or be called), there was nothing to do, the help came hours late. My mum fell to depression for quite a while.
At least on the funerals they had all family and cousins and uncles etc.
When my other grandma died, I was very young too. Again all her children were there, all their children, friends and family.
Now my parents are the oldest of their clans.
Mum said since dad was taken to hospital, none of his siblings (and it's not a small number) has called him. The closest one, by distance from the hospital (perhaps 1 mile) hasn't seen him for a while (the story goes he loaned money from my dad, and does not want to pay back. This would according to my mum and cousin have pissed off another uncle, but the bottom line isn't that - it's their brother being dying). The others... once the time will be, I don't think any of the siblings living more far than 20 miles will be there. Friends and others living close by, hopefully. (I hate funerals, as they are lots of sad people being too late to realize what they could have done when their friends and relatives were there still amongst them. But sometimes people aren't there even before.. or after).
Living where she or they live alone is something I could never do. I'm urban, living in the middle of nothing and no neighbors around scares me. Sleeping alone scares me. And the thought of her being there alone scares me.
When you were most of your life with someone and you know they won't be there for long with you is sad.