(no subject)
"we are all all weve done
we are all all weve done
we are all all weve done"
echoing and echoing like a mantra
sick and dying? or just mad as hell and wishing crying meant anything anymore? who am i and whatve i done worth knowing me for or worth being or worth regarding myself as? was i ever a faggot like i see myself as, some days, like a broken kind of a nostalgia for something i almost once was or almost once knew or almost once experienced or whatever or whatever else or whatever the fuck else?
i feel like im just screaming and shitting and yelling and pissing and angry and hungry and pulling just always fucking pulling myself around or being pulled or whatever, i dont know what the fuck what, but like theres a yanking from my heart out through my back like im dangling by a hook. like im hanging on a rope from heaven on high dragged by god or martians or a fucking asshole in a plane circling and circling and circling twisting the rope all up just enough that day by day it feels just tighter enough that im starting to notice.
its so fucking easy to cut your dick off and you cant fucking do it! its so goddamn easy to cut your balls off and you can never fucking do it! every dumb fuck thinks you cant eat too much soy itll cause too much estrogen blah blah blah fuck you! like the shit isnt too expensive for that to be the goddamn truth! like im not swallowing enough soy that i should have 12 cunts by now that i should have 8 fat leaking tits like a nursing hog like i should have an ass like kim or theresa or whatever! fuck my ass!
i dont fucking care about december embers and i dont miss looking down hallways, running down hallways, sitting in hallways, i dont fucking miss hiding underground and i dont love who i am and im not fine and i dont want to go back to anything i once was or almost was i just wish i had fucking anything to be right now!
i cant think of any angels i wish id seen or boys id wanna be a boy kissing and i dont know who the fuck i ever almost once was and i dont know what the fuck ive done to be who i am or who i am by what ive done or AM doing its just all spun up like ropes like tangled yarn like guts like a ball of writhing, fucking snakes in a pit in the woods in fall, its rotten like the wood in my granddads basement or half the teeth in my mouth or old rags full of cum or like berries that sat a month in the sun its all fucked up and foul and rotten and i dont know what the fuck im supposed to do or be and im just all fucking angry about it!
like words like water like weird fucking idiots its natural maybe but confusing and sharp and horrible! ache ache ache ache ache ache ache ache its a word its a stupid fucking word and its all ive got to say its all i have to write over and over for years time and time again and im sick of being that type of sick that its the only fucking thing i have to say like im fucking chicken little shrieking at the sky like i saw a puzzle piece fall from a cloud like i saw stars falling from the sky like shards and nobody cared because nobody saw because it didnt happen because im just insane and just insane and just insane and just insane and its over and over and i have to repeat things to be sure of them and i have to tell stories of who ive been over and over so i dont forget who i am or was or might have been if i even remember right anymore because all i am is all ive done and i have to repeat even that to be half sure to be half sure to be half sure i have to be certain of who i am or who I should be or who i am to those around me who im seen to be by what ive done and i keep thinking it
"we are all all weve done
we are all all weve done
we are all all weve done"
we are all all weve done
we are all all weve done"
echoing and echoing like a mantra
sick and dying? or just mad as hell and wishing crying meant anything anymore? who am i and whatve i done worth knowing me for or worth being or worth regarding myself as? was i ever a faggot like i see myself as, some days, like a broken kind of a nostalgia for something i almost once was or almost once knew or almost once experienced or whatever or whatever else or whatever the fuck else?
i feel like im just screaming and shitting and yelling and pissing and angry and hungry and pulling just always fucking pulling myself around or being pulled or whatever, i dont know what the fuck what, but like theres a yanking from my heart out through my back like im dangling by a hook. like im hanging on a rope from heaven on high dragged by god or martians or a fucking asshole in a plane circling and circling and circling twisting the rope all up just enough that day by day it feels just tighter enough that im starting to notice.
its so fucking easy to cut your dick off and you cant fucking do it! its so goddamn easy to cut your balls off and you can never fucking do it! every dumb fuck thinks you cant eat too much soy itll cause too much estrogen blah blah blah fuck you! like the shit isnt too expensive for that to be the goddamn truth! like im not swallowing enough soy that i should have 12 cunts by now that i should have 8 fat leaking tits like a nursing hog like i should have an ass like kim or theresa or whatever! fuck my ass!
i dont fucking care about december embers and i dont miss looking down hallways, running down hallways, sitting in hallways, i dont fucking miss hiding underground and i dont love who i am and im not fine and i dont want to go back to anything i once was or almost was i just wish i had fucking anything to be right now!
i cant think of any angels i wish id seen or boys id wanna be a boy kissing and i dont know who the fuck i ever almost once was and i dont know what the fuck ive done to be who i am or who i am by what ive done or AM doing its just all spun up like ropes like tangled yarn like guts like a ball of writhing, fucking snakes in a pit in the woods in fall, its rotten like the wood in my granddads basement or half the teeth in my mouth or old rags full of cum or like berries that sat a month in the sun its all fucked up and foul and rotten and i dont know what the fuck im supposed to do or be and im just all fucking angry about it!
like words like water like weird fucking idiots its natural maybe but confusing and sharp and horrible! ache ache ache ache ache ache ache ache its a word its a stupid fucking word and its all ive got to say its all i have to write over and over for years time and time again and im sick of being that type of sick that its the only fucking thing i have to say like im fucking chicken little shrieking at the sky like i saw a puzzle piece fall from a cloud like i saw stars falling from the sky like shards and nobody cared because nobody saw because it didnt happen because im just insane and just insane and just insane and just insane and its over and over and i have to repeat things to be sure of them and i have to tell stories of who ive been over and over so i dont forget who i am or was or might have been if i even remember right anymore because all i am is all ive done and i have to repeat even that to be half sure to be half sure to be half sure i have to be certain of who i am or who I should be or who i am to those around me who im seen to be by what ive done and i keep thinking it
"we are all all weve done
we are all all weve done
we are all all weve done"