Why so serious?

[pun_princess]

Ø  Make up gross secret family traditions and tell them your family stealthily still follows it. Make sure your face brims with contorted sincerity. My favourite is that we (I and my family) drink blood of the human/animal being sacrificed on the Amavasya Nights. :D We are bongs after all.

Ø  Keep a collection of Prankies handy.  Guide to buying the ultimate scary Pranky for dummies 1.0 :

§  The pranky should spook you out sometimes despite the fact you know it is a pranky.

§  The pranky should be extremely touch sensitive. It should wiggle and wiggle for longer stretches of time upon being touched. Even better if it wiggles with change in speed of breeze.

§  Throw the pranky on the shopkeeper, does he / she run away leaving the counter for you to get away without paying? If not, then the pranky ain’t good enough.

 Ø  Talk to people with ear phones plugged in their ears (where else, their nose?), as a variation you can also choose to mime and not say thing. They would reply back in a volume greater than the music they are listening to, completely ignorant of the raised decibels. FUN. :D

Ø  Start singing some other song while any of your (especially those who sing off key yet never say never!) friends is singing with an unwavering dedication. Sing until his/her song gets deluged by yours (you might have to scream too). If you can’t sing, just say lalalala...in different variations, which would suffice! :P

Ø  Your boyfriend/girlfriend is not calling you back even after a zillion missed calls? You don’t have enough balance to say more than hello? Do not worry. Call up the person, scream “bachao bachao” for no reason at all and hang up abruptly. He/she would call you back.

Ø  Someone is cribbing on phone and you do not have the heart to ask him/her to hang up? Start snoring/sneezing/coughing while still on phone. Tell them, these are the symptoms of a disease called boredtodeathia.

Ø  I have a stack of memories ready to be popped out onto this blog; all pertaining to calling up wrong numbers intentionally. Agreed, I was a kid when I last tried that. [Every girl gets her share of blank calls, missed calls, prank calls, wacko calls which keep her busy in her post childhood days.] But if you haven’t dialled any random number and small talk-ed with strangers [trying hard not to giggle], you’ve missed out a lot in life!

Ø  Name yourself something royal [like punk princess], fantasy or fancy and make everyone call you by that name. Shhhh. Don’t tell them your real name, what other option do they have? You could also, go a step further and name yourself officially like Phoebe did - Princess Consuela Banana Hammock. However, I must caution you to research well before you name anything that sounds fancy.

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Ø  No matter who rings you, even if it is your boyfriend/girlfriend - always answer with *who is this?* in a gruff annoyed voice. Tell them your cellphone suffers from selective amnesia just like you do. You both remember only one name from the pool of your boyfriends/girlfriends/friends/cousins per day.

Ø  Wish to trouble the smart aleck at your work place or the Know-it-all?

·         Act dumb.

·         Act dumber.

·         Act dumbest.

·         Well just be yourself. That would be the worst torture.

You have more to add to this list? Chirp in the comments. I’ll edit the post with your suggestions accredited to your name.

PS: These ideas are original and if they work well for you, do flag me.
PPS: I suffer from split personality syndrome and I am being treated medically for it, if any of these ideas backfire, you know you were warned.
PPPS: Must watch Asari Chan!

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