born a listener.

[pumpkintoast]

I hate that the world doesn't satisfy its own requisites. You're kind of thrown into a positively uncomfortable position when you have all these people that are supposed to be your friends, but you can't pour yourself into them, so there's this barricade that remains. But even with those people that you feel most secure, you still can't tell them everything for fear that their feelings will be hurt. You can't mention how lonely you feel, or that you don't feel pretty enough, smart enough, good enough, because the people you've surrounded yourself with either don't care, would think that they're supposed to respond and make it all better, or it would provoke some sort of stronger self-loathing in themselves. Then your problems are exacerbated by the fact that you're lonely but can't tell them that. Lonely for something they can't provide, and you don't want them to. You just want someone to listen to you. Know that someone else is there, with you, and understands, and will let you be, but be with you. But no one can provide that, because they don't know how.

so then you become isolated, unable to share. and pretty soon you'll forget how to interact with people all together and you'll never find those people or that person that could actually understand what you want or need from them. Someone to just sit and listen, but there for you, but not try to solve your problems.