It Just Is
Title: It Just Is
Disclaimer: Not real, not in the slightest.
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1, 428
Notes: This was started as a little drabble that was going to be surrounded by other drabbles but they never happened so I extended this a little and am posting it as it is. I am working on the Adam/Anoop fic for susysunflower but rl is a lot of fun right now (when I'm not complaining about it :D) so might just take a little while longer.
Summary: Just a little argument, nothing more, nothing less.
Adam held Kris’s hand as they walked to the car, conscious of the paparazzi that were lurking nearby, but as soon as they reached the vehicle he pulled away. He climbed into the car and heard the other door slam shut. The engine started and the car moved away from the curb.
“I was only doing what I thought would…”
“When we get home.”
Adam tried to keep the strain out of his voice when he spoke but he wasn’t sure he succeeded. Kris would know just how much this was affecting him. He knew that for all Adam loved the big showdown he hated the fighting; hated that while he knew his behaviour bothered Kris at times he didn’t know whether he should be angry at the other man or at himself. Should he try and change, was he being unreasonable? Or should Kris just learn to accept it? And was this how Kris felt when he sometimes let slip about things Kris did that he didn’t like? Should he just accept that at times Kris was always going to get too caught up in doing something, especially music, and forget the rest of the world, including Adam? Or that he would never learn how to not leave his shoes in the middle of the hall? Should Kris have to accept that he was a little more extroverted than most people and always would be? Or should he stop leaving his makeup lying around the house like Kris wanted?
As the thoughts ran through his head Adam didn’t turn to see Kris’s reaction to his words, instead focusing on the passing scenery outside.
“Adam, I just…”
“I’m not arguing you while you’re driving Kristopher.”
He could feel the tension vibrating off of Kris but that meant he also felt it when it slipped away. Kris always did find it easier to let go of things. Not that Adam was one for holding a grudge but Kris seemed entirely incapable of it. Adam secretly thought that it had something to do with Kris’s history of being nearly perminently stoned; that much weed had to have left some lasting calm surely! He felt the moment the tension rushed out of Kris and knew that he should do the same but to be quite honest he didn’t care. The more he thought about Kris’s reaction to his behaviour the more annoyed he got.
The radio in the car started playing and he heard Kris adjust the station to something he wanted to hear. Adam knew that Kris was just trying to fill the silence, and probably hoping to pull him out of his snit by getting him singing, but the idea that Kris felt he could manipulate him into submission just fuelled his anger. Reaching over he pressed the button to turn the radio off. He may have used more force than was needed, and the button probably wouldn’t thank him for it, but he currently had no draws to slam, no rooms to stomp around and no phone to hang up so this was the best he could manage.
Kris’s sigh let Adam know that once again he had done something Kris would consider overly dramatic; judging him again. So he was a little dramatic! Who cared? It didn’t make his feelings any less valid. Why the fuck shouldn’t he express them any damn way he wanted to! Sometimes he wondered what he would have to do, or not do, for Kris to actually take his emotions seriously and not dismiss them just because they sometimes came with their own Greek Chorus. Would not expressing them make them more real to Kris? If he had to prise them out of Adam would they mean more? Just because he wasn’t a passive aggressive little shit like someone he knew! How dare he tell him how to act! Okay, so tonight hadn’t really been that bad but it was the icing on a day filled with “remember to give yourself enough time to get ready”, “honey I don’t think that outfit’s gonna work for tonight” and “don’t forget that you need to blah blah blah...”. And if Kris hadn’t actually told him how to behave, if he’d simply suggested that maybe standing on the chair and singing a karaoke version of ‘No Boundries’ with Alli was not safe and likely to get them both in TMZ tomorrow, then...
But the tone of voice, oh Adam knew that tone of voice. That tone said ‘you’re embarrassing me even if you’re not embarrassing yourself so will you please stop now’. It said, ‘I’m more mature and adult than you and sometimes I’m not sure how I put up with it, with you’. Which was a stupid thing to think because of course Kris wanted to put up with him! This was a ‘forever’ thing, not an ‘until I get bored of you’ thing. Adam would be buying Kris plaid slippers when they got older, even if Kris had gone off of plaid by then Adam would still buy them to make him laugh. And Kris would help Adam find another way of dancing when he got old enough that his hip movements became creepy. Because that’s who they were. But it didn’t make Adam hate that tone of voice any less.
As the car got closer to home Adam could feel his anger and humiliation fading. He wanted to hang onto his righteous indignation, how dare Kris try to tell him what to do, but he also wanted to crawl into bed, curl up with him, and fall asleep.
When the car pulled up outside their house Adam didn’t say anything as he got out but neither did he rush ahead. He waited for Kris and they walked to the front door together. Entering the house Adam left Kris in the hall as he headed into the bathroom to take off his makeup. He used the time and space to get a hold of his emotions and realised that he was no longer angry at all. He was just tired now. Tonight wouldn’t even bring makeup sex; he just wanted to sleep.
He might have worried that there would be a ‘conversation’ waiting for him in the bedroom when got there and he might have procrastinated a little but eventually Adam made his way towards their room. Kris was already sat in bed reading, the room lit only by the bedside lamp. A glass of water stood on the table Adam’s side of the bed and the covers had been turned down a little. Adam silently changed out of his clothes and into a pair of pyjama trousers. Crawling into the bed next to Kris he picked up his glass and took a drink. It was their nightly routine and when, after the last fight, Kris had not brought a glass up for Adam it had been a statement. The glass being there this time was just as big a one, Kris had produced an olive branch and it was now his move to make.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
Adam looked over at Kris who put down his book. A small smile appeared on Kris’s face and Adam lent in and kissed him, he felt Kris’s hand go into his hair and pull him closer. When it ended they barely pulled away, their foreheads still resting on each other.
“I hate fighting.”
“Not a big fan of it myself.”
“And I’m too tired for makeup sex.”
“Oh thank god I am so ready for sleep!”
Kris and Adam both started laughing at the utter relief in Kris’s voice. Adam pulled back to look at Kris.
“Does this mean we’re old and boring?”
“I think darlin that it means we work too hard.”
“But makeup sex...it’s a time honoured tradition!”
“And it’s a great one but if we both fall asleep during it’ll be less fun. How about this, we pretend we’re still fighting and makeup in the morning when we’re more awake?”
“Oh, roll play, I like it.”
Adam gave Kris another quick peck on the lips.
“But let’s pick it up tomorrow because I’m not going to bed even pretending to be angry at you, it’s bad karma, and I am not sleeping on the sofa.”
Kris laughed as he turned to put his book away. He turned off the lamp and then pulled Adam till they were both laying down and his head was resting on Adam’s chest. Adam barely had time to wonder how Kris always fell asleep so easily before he joined him.
Disclaimer: Not real, not in the slightest.
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1, 428
Notes: This was started as a little drabble that was going to be surrounded by other drabbles but they never happened so I extended this a little and am posting it as it is. I am working on the Adam/Anoop fic for susysunflower but rl is a lot of fun right now (when I'm not complaining about it :D) so might just take a little while longer.
Summary: Just a little argument, nothing more, nothing less.
Adam held Kris’s hand as they walked to the car, conscious of the paparazzi that were lurking nearby, but as soon as they reached the vehicle he pulled away. He climbed into the car and heard the other door slam shut. The engine started and the car moved away from the curb.
“I was only doing what I thought would…”
“When we get home.”
Adam tried to keep the strain out of his voice when he spoke but he wasn’t sure he succeeded. Kris would know just how much this was affecting him. He knew that for all Adam loved the big showdown he hated the fighting; hated that while he knew his behaviour bothered Kris at times he didn’t know whether he should be angry at the other man or at himself. Should he try and change, was he being unreasonable? Or should Kris just learn to accept it? And was this how Kris felt when he sometimes let slip about things Kris did that he didn’t like? Should he just accept that at times Kris was always going to get too caught up in doing something, especially music, and forget the rest of the world, including Adam? Or that he would never learn how to not leave his shoes in the middle of the hall? Should Kris have to accept that he was a little more extroverted than most people and always would be? Or should he stop leaving his makeup lying around the house like Kris wanted?
As the thoughts ran through his head Adam didn’t turn to see Kris’s reaction to his words, instead focusing on the passing scenery outside.
“Adam, I just…”
“I’m not arguing you while you’re driving Kristopher.”
He could feel the tension vibrating off of Kris but that meant he also felt it when it slipped away. Kris always did find it easier to let go of things. Not that Adam was one for holding a grudge but Kris seemed entirely incapable of it. Adam secretly thought that it had something to do with Kris’s history of being nearly perminently stoned; that much weed had to have left some lasting calm surely! He felt the moment the tension rushed out of Kris and knew that he should do the same but to be quite honest he didn’t care. The more he thought about Kris’s reaction to his behaviour the more annoyed he got.
The radio in the car started playing and he heard Kris adjust the station to something he wanted to hear. Adam knew that Kris was just trying to fill the silence, and probably hoping to pull him out of his snit by getting him singing, but the idea that Kris felt he could manipulate him into submission just fuelled his anger. Reaching over he pressed the button to turn the radio off. He may have used more force than was needed, and the button probably wouldn’t thank him for it, but he currently had no draws to slam, no rooms to stomp around and no phone to hang up so this was the best he could manage.
Kris’s sigh let Adam know that once again he had done something Kris would consider overly dramatic; judging him again. So he was a little dramatic! Who cared? It didn’t make his feelings any less valid. Why the fuck shouldn’t he express them any damn way he wanted to! Sometimes he wondered what he would have to do, or not do, for Kris to actually take his emotions seriously and not dismiss them just because they sometimes came with their own Greek Chorus. Would not expressing them make them more real to Kris? If he had to prise them out of Adam would they mean more? Just because he wasn’t a passive aggressive little shit like someone he knew! How dare he tell him how to act! Okay, so tonight hadn’t really been that bad but it was the icing on a day filled with “remember to give yourself enough time to get ready”, “honey I don’t think that outfit’s gonna work for tonight” and “don’t forget that you need to blah blah blah...”. And if Kris hadn’t actually told him how to behave, if he’d simply suggested that maybe standing on the chair and singing a karaoke version of ‘No Boundries’ with Alli was not safe and likely to get them both in TMZ tomorrow, then...
But the tone of voice, oh Adam knew that tone of voice. That tone said ‘you’re embarrassing me even if you’re not embarrassing yourself so will you please stop now’. It said, ‘I’m more mature and adult than you and sometimes I’m not sure how I put up with it, with you’. Which was a stupid thing to think because of course Kris wanted to put up with him! This was a ‘forever’ thing, not an ‘until I get bored of you’ thing. Adam would be buying Kris plaid slippers when they got older, even if Kris had gone off of plaid by then Adam would still buy them to make him laugh. And Kris would help Adam find another way of dancing when he got old enough that his hip movements became creepy. Because that’s who they were. But it didn’t make Adam hate that tone of voice any less.
As the car got closer to home Adam could feel his anger and humiliation fading. He wanted to hang onto his righteous indignation, how dare Kris try to tell him what to do, but he also wanted to crawl into bed, curl up with him, and fall asleep.
When the car pulled up outside their house Adam didn’t say anything as he got out but neither did he rush ahead. He waited for Kris and they walked to the front door together. Entering the house Adam left Kris in the hall as he headed into the bathroom to take off his makeup. He used the time and space to get a hold of his emotions and realised that he was no longer angry at all. He was just tired now. Tonight wouldn’t even bring makeup sex; he just wanted to sleep.
He might have worried that there would be a ‘conversation’ waiting for him in the bedroom when got there and he might have procrastinated a little but eventually Adam made his way towards their room. Kris was already sat in bed reading, the room lit only by the bedside lamp. A glass of water stood on the table Adam’s side of the bed and the covers had been turned down a little. Adam silently changed out of his clothes and into a pair of pyjama trousers. Crawling into the bed next to Kris he picked up his glass and took a drink. It was their nightly routine and when, after the last fight, Kris had not brought a glass up for Adam it had been a statement. The glass being there this time was just as big a one, Kris had produced an olive branch and it was now his move to make.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
Adam looked over at Kris who put down his book. A small smile appeared on Kris’s face and Adam lent in and kissed him, he felt Kris’s hand go into his hair and pull him closer. When it ended they barely pulled away, their foreheads still resting on each other.
“I hate fighting.”
“Not a big fan of it myself.”
“And I’m too tired for makeup sex.”
“Oh thank god I am so ready for sleep!”
Kris and Adam both started laughing at the utter relief in Kris’s voice. Adam pulled back to look at Kris.
“Does this mean we’re old and boring?”
“I think darlin that it means we work too hard.”
“But makeup sex...it’s a time honoured tradition!”
“And it’s a great one but if we both fall asleep during it’ll be less fun. How about this, we pretend we’re still fighting and makeup in the morning when we’re more awake?”
“Oh, roll play, I like it.”
Adam gave Kris another quick peck on the lips.
“But let’s pick it up tomorrow because I’m not going to bed even pretending to be angry at you, it’s bad karma, and I am not sleeping on the sofa.”
Kris laughed as he turned to put his book away. He turned off the lamp and then pulled Adam till they were both laying down and his head was resting on Adam’s chest. Adam barely had time to wonder how Kris always fell asleep so easily before he joined him.