Where Do I Start?
So many things to say, yet so little time.
I'm very tired, but what I have to rest my head on is this huge pile of homework to complete by tmrw. Dead. So dead.
Sometimes I really do believe our teachers are out to kill us. Especially Lijing. She gives us work & she doesn't mark?! Use class periods, give us answer key tell us to mark it ourselves? Wow. Best teacher on earth. I totally need her guidance if not I'll fail my O levels. (Note: In case you can't tell, I am being sarcastic.)
Great time yesterday cheering the Volleyball team on! B Girls did so well. Adeline, Bong, Simin, Jermaine were the bomb. Then Lincoln couldn't play anymore cos he dislocated & fractured his pinky. Poor boy. Who ask him keep on disturbing me. But yeah, the joy, excitement, adrenaline rush I felt on that day was simply... indescribable. That's some experience that's worth it. So well done. So proud of @applebomber07 and @bongbongzxc <33
Somehow, I've been in this really low state this whole week. I don't know why. But this sucks. Thank God at least I managed to survive uptill now without any mental breakdowns. I'm amazed at how differently I behave when I'm with people, & when I'm alone in my room.
Took Physics & Amath test today. I really thought I was not going to make it. I prayed so hard. I needed God so much. Yet, I didn't manage to complete my Amath test. I'm so worried. What if I don't do well? I may never be able to go to lifegroup anymore. What is this? Furthermore, Ms Lee said this test is really passable, & if you don't she doesn't know what to say to you. I actually think I may fail. I'm such a letdown. So disappointed with myself. Really. I'm starting to believe what Ms Lee said "I have no math sense". So what's the point of trying really?
Right after that, I did my physics paper. The whole time I was constantly telling God, I really need Him to show up. Please just help me with this. I've already screwed up Amath, I don't wanna screw Physics up. So thank God, it was a really manageable paper & I finished it without much difficulty.
Then had dance. I tell you, my whole day's exhaustion started to just crash down, & I really wanted to like just hide in the toilet & cry my lungs out. But Thank God I didn't. Well, Ms Lim took me out of my favourite part of the entire choreography. The part which I longed to do so much. Practised my butt off, danced my heart out, put in every single part of my soul to do, & she took me out. Just like that. It may seem no biggie to you, but let me tell you, what she did was like blowing over my pyramid I pain-stakingly built with a deck of poker cards. It felt like somebody threw cow poop onto your face after swmimming through a pool of goat urine. It felt that horrid.
I can't even type down how horrid I feel right now. I don't know what I'm good at. I don't feel like there's anyone I can depend on. Everyone in my lifegroup is going upwards, am I the only one falling down? Who can I lean on? God? Of course! But I need that faith, that courage, that strength. I need something to happen before I get drained out & lose it.
I'm very tired, but what I have to rest my head on is this huge pile of homework to complete by tmrw. Dead. So dead.
Sometimes I really do believe our teachers are out to kill us. Especially Lijing. She gives us work & she doesn't mark?! Use class periods, give us answer key tell us to mark it ourselves? Wow. Best teacher on earth. I totally need her guidance if not I'll fail my O levels. (Note: In case you can't tell, I am being sarcastic.)
Great time yesterday cheering the Volleyball team on! B Girls did so well. Adeline, Bong, Simin, Jermaine were the bomb. Then Lincoln couldn't play anymore cos he dislocated & fractured his pinky. Poor boy. Who ask him keep on disturbing me. But yeah, the joy, excitement, adrenaline rush I felt on that day was simply... indescribable. That's some experience that's worth it. So well done. So proud of @applebomber07 and @bongbongzxc <33
Somehow, I've been in this really low state this whole week. I don't know why. But this sucks. Thank God at least I managed to survive uptill now without any mental breakdowns. I'm amazed at how differently I behave when I'm with people, & when I'm alone in my room.
Took Physics & Amath test today. I really thought I was not going to make it. I prayed so hard. I needed God so much. Yet, I didn't manage to complete my Amath test. I'm so worried. What if I don't do well? I may never be able to go to lifegroup anymore. What is this? Furthermore, Ms Lee said this test is really passable, & if you don't she doesn't know what to say to you. I actually think I may fail. I'm such a letdown. So disappointed with myself. Really. I'm starting to believe what Ms Lee said "I have no math sense". So what's the point of trying really?
Right after that, I did my physics paper. The whole time I was constantly telling God, I really need Him to show up. Please just help me with this. I've already screwed up Amath, I don't wanna screw Physics up. So thank God, it was a really manageable paper & I finished it without much difficulty.
Then had dance. I tell you, my whole day's exhaustion started to just crash down, & I really wanted to like just hide in the toilet & cry my lungs out. But Thank God I didn't. Well, Ms Lim took me out of my favourite part of the entire choreography. The part which I longed to do so much. Practised my butt off, danced my heart out, put in every single part of my soul to do, & she took me out. Just like that. It may seem no biggie to you, but let me tell you, what she did was like blowing over my pyramid I pain-stakingly built with a deck of poker cards. It felt like somebody threw cow poop onto your face after swmimming through a pool of goat urine. It felt that horrid.
I can't even type down how horrid I feel right now. I don't know what I'm good at. I don't feel like there's anyone I can depend on. Everyone in my lifegroup is going upwards, am I the only one falling down? Who can I lean on? God? Of course! But I need that faith, that courage, that strength. I need something to happen before I get drained out & lose it.