Madness
Sometimes I do think of giving up. I try so hard for everything yet I don't see myself doing well for anything.
I fail geog, I fail chem, I fail amath. I dance my ass of which made myself look like some muscular monkey, yet I feel SO inferior next to them. When I dance with them, all I hear is "Carissa! Not like this", and "xxx, very nice! Well done!"
And all I hear is "need to wok harder for amath, never practise!", "you keep studying last minute leh you!", "your piano is getting from bad to worse you know!"
I am sick and tired of this. And my mom tells me to not go lifegroup so often and don't leave HER church. I don't wish to elaborate in this.
I am so tired and upset and disappointed and discouraged. I don't know God, what should I do? I don't even know what I'm doing.
I try to put on a smile daily, but my facial muscles are defying me. I wanna be positive and happy. Where do I find the courage and strength but in God? But sometimes it's just so hard I don't even wanna try.