(no subject)
I'm normally happy, you know. Not really happy, just in a normal mood. Then I find myself all alone again, and my mind stops a little, thinking of him. I haven't think about him in days... I tried to forget. As usual, hehe, melancholic songs just bring me back to him again. All the mixed chords and the perfect moment in the night (yes, always in night) make me think about everything... my disintegrating family, my crush, my friends... everything that I think its wrong. I wonder if someday I would hug him... or really talk to him. Sometimes I feel that I don't love him anymore... and sometimes I can feel this will never end. Its really messed up.
I can imagine, that if I see him again, someday, and I will nto feel special, then we can be friends. Maybe he can be my best friend... No, wait, I got a best friend already. And I'm sooo attracted to him... I'm just confused. I know, and I'm sure, that I do not love him. I love him, yes, as my friend. But I'm really attracted. Like physically, but I'm not sure. His body/face it is not as perfect as some other friends I've seen. It is like (ok, this sounds weird) the scent. Somewhat.
I usually feel like meeting someone new for me. But when I meet someone, the same day I lose the interest in him. Someone new means, a new friend. But I don't really like girls very much. It is weird, but most of my real friends are males. Why? I don't really know. Its like you can trust in them very well.
And well, months ago I knew two new people, but as usual, the same day I lost interest in one of them. The other one is my friend =) and his life is really messed up )=. We both always have like the same problems. Well, i knew someone new at least. His name is... oh wait I don't remember. He's pretty cool. I thought he was like those fuckheads, like most of the boys here. I think he is the one who teach me to respect the other music. I mean, I always criticize my friends, not the unknown people for me. But I like to bother punks =D And with one phrase he knew how to make me respect him. He is not that bad, though. We had a really nice conversation. I think he likes me =) I like him. He is a friend of my friend though. Long story. My "friend" is not my friend, though. I never liked him. And he is like "Wow, I'm your fan! you know a lot of music" yeah... and I'm like "I can't tell the same about my feelings towards your band!" Lol. He is pretty cute, though.
I can imagine, that if I see him again, someday, and I will nto feel special, then we can be friends. Maybe he can be my best friend... No, wait, I got a best friend already. And I'm sooo attracted to him... I'm just confused. I know, and I'm sure, that I do not love him. I love him, yes, as my friend. But I'm really attracted. Like physically, but I'm not sure. His body/face it is not as perfect as some other friends I've seen. It is like (ok, this sounds weird) the scent. Somewhat.
I usually feel like meeting someone new for me. But when I meet someone, the same day I lose the interest in him. Someone new means, a new friend. But I don't really like girls very much. It is weird, but most of my real friends are males. Why? I don't really know. Its like you can trust in them very well.
And well, months ago I knew two new people, but as usual, the same day I lost interest in one of them. The other one is my friend =) and his life is really messed up )=. We both always have like the same problems. Well, i knew someone new at least. His name is... oh wait I don't remember. He's pretty cool. I thought he was like those fuckheads, like most of the boys here. I think he is the one who teach me to respect the other music. I mean, I always criticize my friends, not the unknown people for me. But I like to bother punks =D And with one phrase he knew how to make me respect him. He is not that bad, though. We had a really nice conversation. I think he likes me =) I like him. He is a friend of my friend though. Long story. My "friend" is not my friend, though. I never liked him. And he is like "Wow, I'm your fan! you know a lot of music" yeah... and I'm like "I can't tell the same about my feelings towards your band!" Lol. He is pretty cute, though.