Men are from Uranus not Mars
After work yesterday, the boy and I sat out the front having a glass of wine and chatting about his new boss Brendan. Brendan was telling Duncan how his marriage has seen better days and that he's basically not coping well with the change in his wife of late. He feels that she's not interested in him anymore and he's feeling neglected. Brendan told Duncan that when he gets home from work he beeps the horn and his four year old daughter comes running out to greet him. Brendan couldn't understand why his wife doesn't do that. Why she doesn't seem happy to see him when he returns home from work. His next complaint was in regards to her not cleaning the house enough. He claims that it's always untidy and bordering on dirty. His wife isn't employed, she's a stay-at-home Mum who isn't paid while he works six days a week and granted, he does work long hours.
Anyway, the boy and I got talking. The boy said that he told Brendan that 9 out of 10 times I'm sitting out the front if he gets home after me. The boy also told Brendan that I'm bordering on obsessive compulsive with cleaniness. According to the boy, Brendan thought this was great - that I would 'eagerly' wait for my husbands arrival upon his return to our home.
You know part of me got a bit angry with this. It's almost submissive type expectations that a 'good' wife will be waiting out the front, will run up to her husband with arms open then carry his work bag for him. She'll also have cookies baking and will be wearing an apron which she would happily take off to satisfy her husband in the bed. Oh and don't forget the shackles around her ankles and the kitchen sink she's tied to. Are we living in the 50's?
I don't sit out the front waiting for the boy - we don't smoke in the house and we sit out the front when we light up. It's just a coincidence that most of the time when he arrives home I'm sitting outside. If he wants to think I'm waiting for him then let him, I'm not about to burst his bubble or his ego.
As for the cleaning, my standards of what a clean house consists of has dropped dramatically. I only vacume once a week now, I don't pick up after the boy, I don't care if he leaves dishes out on the sink and if I want to come home and do nothing then that's exactly what I do. He's noticed the drop in the standards of how clean our house is of late and he's actually started to pull his weight a bit. But does having a clean house make a woman a good wife? Like really, isn't there more to what makes a good wife than how clean the house is? God I hope so!
At the end of our discussion last night, I asked the boy what Brendan thinks about our setup. According to the boy, Brendan told him that he's very lucky and that he'd like it if his wife was more like me. My response to the boy was something along the lines of realising how lucky he is - tongue in cheek of course because as much as I bag him, he does do a fair bit around the house and he does do all the cooking.
I think I was just in shock that Brendan would get so upset over such trivial things. Obviously there's other issues that aren't quite right in their marriage but does something as simple as not greeting your husband after a days work justify such strong insecurities? I know the simple gestures are the ones that mean the most but seriously, is something as insignificant as this worth even mentioning to your partner?
Hmm, I don't know...it's all too puzzling for me. I could think of more serious things to get my knickers in a knot about but perhaps it's just a symptom of something bigger, who knows. I just find it really odd that boys would talk about stuff like that.. Yet another insight into the mind of males that I find perplexing and possibly another reason why I do like men - where's the challenge in something that you understand? ;)
Anyway, the boy and I got talking. The boy said that he told Brendan that 9 out of 10 times I'm sitting out the front if he gets home after me. The boy also told Brendan that I'm bordering on obsessive compulsive with cleaniness. According to the boy, Brendan thought this was great - that I would 'eagerly' wait for my husbands arrival upon his return to our home.
You know part of me got a bit angry with this. It's almost submissive type expectations that a 'good' wife will be waiting out the front, will run up to her husband with arms open then carry his work bag for him. She'll also have cookies baking and will be wearing an apron which she would happily take off to satisfy her husband in the bed. Oh and don't forget the shackles around her ankles and the kitchen sink she's tied to. Are we living in the 50's?
I don't sit out the front waiting for the boy - we don't smoke in the house and we sit out the front when we light up. It's just a coincidence that most of the time when he arrives home I'm sitting outside. If he wants to think I'm waiting for him then let him, I'm not about to burst his bubble or his ego.
As for the cleaning, my standards of what a clean house consists of has dropped dramatically. I only vacume once a week now, I don't pick up after the boy, I don't care if he leaves dishes out on the sink and if I want to come home and do nothing then that's exactly what I do. He's noticed the drop in the standards of how clean our house is of late and he's actually started to pull his weight a bit. But does having a clean house make a woman a good wife? Like really, isn't there more to what makes a good wife than how clean the house is? God I hope so!
At the end of our discussion last night, I asked the boy what Brendan thinks about our setup. According to the boy, Brendan told him that he's very lucky and that he'd like it if his wife was more like me. My response to the boy was something along the lines of realising how lucky he is - tongue in cheek of course because as much as I bag him, he does do a fair bit around the house and he does do all the cooking.
I think I was just in shock that Brendan would get so upset over such trivial things. Obviously there's other issues that aren't quite right in their marriage but does something as simple as not greeting your husband after a days work justify such strong insecurities? I know the simple gestures are the ones that mean the most but seriously, is something as insignificant as this worth even mentioning to your partner?
Hmm, I don't know...it's all too puzzling for me. I could think of more serious things to get my knickers in a knot about but perhaps it's just a symptom of something bigger, who knows. I just find it really odd that boys would talk about stuff like that.. Yet another insight into the mind of males that I find perplexing and possibly another reason why I do like men - where's the challenge in something that you understand? ;)