Exposed.
I've put alot of thought into this, and I've realized that maybe things will be different if I go to college in Texas. Like, they don't really know me anymore, they just know the old me. I mean, they'd be shocked if they knew how I am now:
First of all, I'm sick minded. I know this. I write sex scenes in geometry class, I'm constantly looking at literotica online to get ideas for the sex scenes I write in geometry class...stuff like that that I like doing. I love dirty jokes, especially the ones in Playboy. Those are funny. Stuff like that that's "not normal" or appropriate for me to be doing. But I'm not hurting anyone by it. Like, at least I'm putting that energy into writing instead of actually doing it, right?
And second of all, a BIG no-no, I smoke. I dont really have much more to say on that subject. All I know is that they're not gonna like that.
Another thing, I'm not religious. At all, actually. I'm not anti-religion, I just don't really feel the need to go to church every week. Once in a while is good, though. But I do alot of things that would be considered "ungodly." Sex scenes, smoking... I'm not going to get into EVERYTHING, but yeah, there's quite a few things.
Actually, I'm probably going to get a phone call or a comment about this. Eep. I hope I know what I'm doing posting this. I just want the truth to come out. I don't want to hide anything now, because if I do, things will be worse if they dont know. And also, I'm not so sure I want to go to Tx for college. I mean, I do, but in a way, I can't. I want to be an english teacher, and if I go to college for teaching in Texas, it's going to make it difficult for me to get a job as a teacher in California because in NY and CA something about the teaching thing is different than other states. So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Blugh.
I cant help but to say it, I'm really attached to California. I have so many great things going for me here. My friends are here, my future job is here...but then it's like, I promised I'd go to Texas for college. And even though that was a long time ago, it's still a promise. And I hate to break promises. But if I don't break my promise, I won't be able to do what I want to do when I'm older...
Life's complicated.
I need to think about this.
First of all, I'm sick minded. I know this. I write sex scenes in geometry class, I'm constantly looking at literotica online to get ideas for the sex scenes I write in geometry class...stuff like that that I like doing. I love dirty jokes, especially the ones in Playboy. Those are funny. Stuff like that that's "not normal" or appropriate for me to be doing. But I'm not hurting anyone by it. Like, at least I'm putting that energy into writing instead of actually doing it, right?
And second of all, a BIG no-no, I smoke. I dont really have much more to say on that subject. All I know is that they're not gonna like that.
Another thing, I'm not religious. At all, actually. I'm not anti-religion, I just don't really feel the need to go to church every week. Once in a while is good, though. But I do alot of things that would be considered "ungodly." Sex scenes, smoking... I'm not going to get into EVERYTHING, but yeah, there's quite a few things.
Actually, I'm probably going to get a phone call or a comment about this. Eep. I hope I know what I'm doing posting this. I just want the truth to come out. I don't want to hide anything now, because if I do, things will be worse if they dont know. And also, I'm not so sure I want to go to Tx for college. I mean, I do, but in a way, I can't. I want to be an english teacher, and if I go to college for teaching in Texas, it's going to make it difficult for me to get a job as a teacher in California because in NY and CA something about the teaching thing is different than other states. So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Blugh.
I cant help but to say it, I'm really attached to California. I have so many great things going for me here. My friends are here, my future job is here...but then it's like, I promised I'd go to Texas for college. And even though that was a long time ago, it's still a promise. And I hate to break promises. But if I don't break my promise, I won't be able to do what I want to do when I'm older...
Life's complicated.
I need to think about this.