Kneel before Zod
Genealogy is a curious thing. Aside from having a murderer in the family who smashed his wife’s head against the sink leaving her to die with her brain hanging out two days later (in the mid 19th century I hasten to add), I have found out many an interesting thing about my forefathers.
I know next to nothing about ‘Four fathers’ the follow up to the popular TV show ‘My 2 days’ with Greg Evigan or Paul Reiser. I digress.
The most intriguing thing about my past is that theoretically I have a claim to the throne. Before you get excited it would take a hell of a lot of people to die before I would be crowned. To be precise, or as precise as we’ve been able to calculate, I am something like 7,450th in line. Although, even more interestingly, because of the incestuous nature of Royalty across Europe, I would be only 3500th in line to be Tsar of Russia and 3200th to be Kaiser of Germany had those institutions still existed. In fact, writing this its just occurred to me that the Belgian Royal family are also linked to ours so presumably I have a tenuous claim there as well.
There is one photograph left which sort of provides a link, and that is of my great-great-great Grandfather at Balmoral (the Royal Family’s Scottish residence) as part of a Royal Hunting party. This proves, if nothing else, that the family were in the royal circle of acquaintance as recently as the mid 19th Century, not to mention that some of them were murdering people (see Para 1).
One of the most frustrating things for me is that there was another photograph which has been destroyed which apparently showed a paper bag filled to the brim with glue. It was surrounded by some sort of wooden frame and placed up inside a Matron every night. Each morning, when it was pulled back out, it was topped up again with glue (the Matron would ingest some of it during the dark hours) whilst a boy with long plaited hair would balance on a stool and unbutton exactly half of the 250 clasps that held together the Royal face.
I know next to nothing about ‘Four fathers’ the follow up to the popular TV show ‘My 2 days’ with Greg Evigan or Paul Reiser. I digress.
The most intriguing thing about my past is that theoretically I have a claim to the throne. Before you get excited it would take a hell of a lot of people to die before I would be crowned. To be precise, or as precise as we’ve been able to calculate, I am something like 7,450th in line. Although, even more interestingly, because of the incestuous nature of Royalty across Europe, I would be only 3500th in line to be Tsar of Russia and 3200th to be Kaiser of Germany had those institutions still existed. In fact, writing this its just occurred to me that the Belgian Royal family are also linked to ours so presumably I have a tenuous claim there as well.
There is one photograph left which sort of provides a link, and that is of my great-great-great Grandfather at Balmoral (the Royal Family’s Scottish residence) as part of a Royal Hunting party. This proves, if nothing else, that the family were in the royal circle of acquaintance as recently as the mid 19th Century, not to mention that some of them were murdering people (see Para 1).
One of the most frustrating things for me is that there was another photograph which has been destroyed which apparently showed a paper bag filled to the brim with glue. It was surrounded by some sort of wooden frame and placed up inside a Matron every night. Each morning, when it was pulled back out, it was topped up again with glue (the Matron would ingest some of it during the dark hours) whilst a boy with long plaited hair would balance on a stool and unbutton exactly half of the 250 clasps that held together the Royal face.