I have realized that I haven't lived an all exciting life.

Feb 21, 2005 23:42

Today I spent the whole day with Jennifer. So we were hanging out and she's like
hey let's go on my roof and I'm like okay sure, but ONCE i get on the roof
I start freaking out. Like I made up excuses to get off, like a gust of wind would pull me down
or that I would slip, I was seriously so scared.
I didn't think I was scared of heights, I'm not scared of climbing a ladder, or flying on
an airplane, but I am scared of roller coasters. Truth, I have never ridden on one ever.

I've come to realize my whole life I have lived a shelterd lifestyle. The latest absolutely latest I've ever stayed over at a friends house was probably 12 am, and that was only because my phone didn't
get reception so my mom couldn't reach me to get home. And when I got home boy did I get yelled at.
And it sucks so bad, because like hte only way I ever get to hang out with people is if I tell my
dad ahead of time and when I do he'll bribe me so I can't go. But on my brothers oh gosh they can go wherever they want and whenever just because in my moms words "they're boys". What if they're boys, who cares. And to top that I've only been able to sleep at TWO friends houses Jaimie and Stephanie, my mom doesn't trust other parents but she says they can sleep at my house because we won't try and kill them at night. My mom's crazy, all asain parent's are crazy.
I remember one time I was talking to my mom and we were talking about colleges and I was like yah I want to apply to a lot of out of state colleges like down in california, and my mom was like what do you like in california huh, just stay here go to evcc. And it's like she has the whole family wrapped into it cause it's like everyone in my family don't want me to apply anywhere that isn't at least 30 minutes away from them. It's mainly like I want to apply to USC, I know there's not a chance in hell that I'll get in after this year's grades, and when I told my aunt that all she said was what do you wanna do there huh it's bad down there there's only mexican's. you don't need mexican's.
. . .what if I do need mexicans.
They even laughed at me when I said I wanted to become a dentist. I don't see what's funny about it. They laughed even harder when I wanted to become a CIA agent, now I can see how that's funny.

- - - - -
now what i really wrote before

I was supposed to go running with Lisa this morning, at 9 but I didn't wake up until 9:17. I was gonna
be a bad friend and not show up at all but I thought that
was too mean, so I hurried as fast as I can and I showed up at Jennings Park.

But she wasn't there. . .I was soo mad at myself for being late
I called her but to my suprise, SHE DIDN'T EVEN WAKE UP.
All she said was like oh yah I couldn't go sorry, and that's it.
It was okay though, I kinda ran on my own.
Like I mean just a little bit till I got out of breath (like 2 minutes of running)

Gosh, getting back into running is so hard. I remember anna telling me
like getting out of shape is so easy but getting back into it is the hardest thing, and yeah
it is.

TOMORROW.
After school, Nicole and I will play tennis together, that sounds like fun.
We'll also run too, for some reason, although she NEVER run's she never
like get's out of breath when she runs and it bothers me. Man just pretend at least.
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