Worky work work stuff
Grumble. That's where I'm at right now. About to get very busy, but then learning that I will get considerably less busy after the new year, possibly getting much more busy fourth quarter but not certain....it's very frustrating. Mostly, I want to not work any longer. Thank you promoters for women's equality and all that, but being the head of household since before the birth of my son is NOT all it is cracked up to be. I would, I think, rather stay at home and raise my child, possibly homeschool since I'm disillusioned with a good deal of things mainstream, grow food stuffs in a garden plot and tend to my home. I would. I don't identify myself by my doings in the work place, rather see the workplace as yet another place to subject the unwary to my games and nonsense, so it isn't as if I would lose a part of myself by giving that up.
Wait a minute...here, in lj land, I am able to express all sorts of wonderful things since it isn't tied to the fb any longer. Gasp. I can gush with wild abandon. Sometimes, I am really an idiot.
So, I think I am actually in love. No, really. I do not fear the progression of this relationship like I held reservations for relationships in the past. I find him comfortable. He gets my geekiness, and references, and accepts that I am a dork. He plays Euchre. Come on!!!
What I find strange is this thing that men reference, called 'the list'. He has one as well, and possibly I do too, but just don't label it as such. I don't know. As far as I know, with him, I am perfect. Scary. Knowing me and my imperfections as well as I do...I think he probably lowered the bar a little.
What makes him awesome? He speaks with me, not at me. He very clearly is hiding nothing, there is no mask I need to peel away in order to find out what lies beneath. Once I can convince the other me's of this, then we will be golden. They are so accustomed to the hiding and posturing that not having that present just means to them that he is a better liar. Which is pretty darned depressing, but we move on. We've been officially dating for 6 weeks and half of those weeks have seen fresh flowers and romantic cards, a night looking for meteors, cards, days IM-ing, and random moments here and there, an exciting weekend get away, and camping. That's a lot to have going on in 6 weeks time, but then, we have been talking for a couple of years. Granted I was seeing someone else during that time, but it did not hinder the friendship from growing. Once again I am surprised by my heart, but at least this time, I'm not scared of it.