Planning
I have been working on wedding arrangements...on paper...and a little leg work.
I have a brilliant plan, but if I invited everyone to it I would never be able to pay it off...ever. Not so brilliant you say? I still like the concept.
Which means, I will need to cut my list WAY DOWN to make this brilliant plan even remotely feasible. Which further means, I might be looking at the "intimate wedding group" and the "let's celebrate with all the friends group". This latter group is possibly in Aledo...and Chris is working his way through that.
Chris is a social butterfly. I mean it. By comparisson I'm nearly a hermit - if you know me, then you have a bit of an understanding of the magnitude of his circle. If I can make the intimate celebration thing work within a reasonable budget, I'm thrilled as most everything will be handled in one place at one time...YAY. Easy. I like easy. (that's what he said)...that was a joke.
So - in line with making things difficult I'm also looking at September, Saturday evenings of either the 10th or the 17th...or BOTH ifn there is the two group possibility. This is difficult because it is typically the busiest of wedding months aside from June. Great.
I'm rambling. Mostly this ramble is to inform those who may not make it on the intimate list, the reason for this is simply that I am cheap (more pc to say frugal) and since we are footing this wedding bill...there it is.
Have I mentioned that I find coordinating anything a bit of a trial? I should. When faced with the enormity of the planning and timelines and budgets and social factors and reprocussions I want to bury my frizzed out head in a hole and ask someone to tell me when it's over. I shouldn't feel overwhelmed, not yet...but I do. Go me. ACK. I mean it.
Anyway, aside from the above sounding like I'm annoyed with everything already, I'm looking forward to this next step in my life. Weird...I know. I was so set on going solo, and just as thrilled at that notion with the passing fancy that it would be really cool if I could share it with someone else...someday; mostly for financial reasons, and house upkeep, and such (sue me, I'm quite the robot sometimes...it made more sense), but I wasn't in line for a roommate (small house) and had no real prospects out there. I just suck the life out of romanticism don't I?
I am very much in love with him. I didn't know I was capable of it. Frankly, there are still a number of trust-issue walls, all belonging to me, that need to be broken down...I feel them crumble and a surge of greatfulness and affection envelopes me and I can't help but let him know how much he means to me. Unfortunately, those walls crumble slowly and when I feel compromised they build up lightning quick because I'm so terrified of hurting again. I am what I am, and that is one who will survive regardless of the cost to ME - and we dive back into the robot who functions and takes care of the needs of her child and makes things go and survives...but doesn't really live. He would call it "business mode." He has felt it and really doesn't like it any more than I do. Thank God he is smart enough to back up, back off, and let my brain do what it needs to do to work through the issue, consolidate the feelings, learn from the experience and hopefully grow.
I'm still thrilled...even if it doesn't sound like it. :)
I have a brilliant plan, but if I invited everyone to it I would never be able to pay it off...ever. Not so brilliant you say? I still like the concept.
Which means, I will need to cut my list WAY DOWN to make this brilliant plan even remotely feasible. Which further means, I might be looking at the "intimate wedding group" and the "let's celebrate with all the friends group". This latter group is possibly in Aledo...and Chris is working his way through that.
Chris is a social butterfly. I mean it. By comparisson I'm nearly a hermit - if you know me, then you have a bit of an understanding of the magnitude of his circle. If I can make the intimate celebration thing work within a reasonable budget, I'm thrilled as most everything will be handled in one place at one time...YAY. Easy. I like easy. (that's what he said)...that was a joke.
So - in line with making things difficult I'm also looking at September, Saturday evenings of either the 10th or the 17th...or BOTH ifn there is the two group possibility. This is difficult because it is typically the busiest of wedding months aside from June. Great.
I'm rambling. Mostly this ramble is to inform those who may not make it on the intimate list, the reason for this is simply that I am cheap (more pc to say frugal) and since we are footing this wedding bill...there it is.
Have I mentioned that I find coordinating anything a bit of a trial? I should. When faced with the enormity of the planning and timelines and budgets and social factors and reprocussions I want to bury my frizzed out head in a hole and ask someone to tell me when it's over. I shouldn't feel overwhelmed, not yet...but I do. Go me. ACK. I mean it.
Anyway, aside from the above sounding like I'm annoyed with everything already, I'm looking forward to this next step in my life. Weird...I know. I was so set on going solo, and just as thrilled at that notion with the passing fancy that it would be really cool if I could share it with someone else...someday; mostly for financial reasons, and house upkeep, and such (sue me, I'm quite the robot sometimes...it made more sense), but I wasn't in line for a roommate (small house) and had no real prospects out there. I just suck the life out of romanticism don't I?
I am very much in love with him. I didn't know I was capable of it. Frankly, there are still a number of trust-issue walls, all belonging to me, that need to be broken down...I feel them crumble and a surge of greatfulness and affection envelopes me and I can't help but let him know how much he means to me. Unfortunately, those walls crumble slowly and when I feel compromised they build up lightning quick because I'm so terrified of hurting again. I am what I am, and that is one who will survive regardless of the cost to ME - and we dive back into the robot who functions and takes care of the needs of her child and makes things go and survives...but doesn't really live. He would call it "business mode." He has felt it and really doesn't like it any more than I do. Thank God he is smart enough to back up, back off, and let my brain do what it needs to do to work through the issue, consolidate the feelings, learn from the experience and hopefully grow.
I'm still thrilled...even if it doesn't sound like it. :)