(no subject)
im losing my grasp on reality.....sometimes im so close to throwing my world away...to losing myself to the dark...i pretend to beleive that i can get thru it.... but then they appear... and swallow me up.... my heart is immediately surrendered because they have simply appeared.... everythings ok again.. how could it not be?.... i mean they're standing right there arnt they?.....so for that short short time....you think ur safe again.. ur willing to give urself entirely to that one you love so much..they'll kiss you on ur foreheard... and whisper they love you... and u know they do....they'll hold you so tightly.....there love just wraps around you in a warm blanket...and you sink in happiness..... you are at peace...and the world will be right forever......
the night appears..... as u stare up at the sky... u smile at the stars..... you look around u to share the smile...but he isnt there....u turn in circles.... no where is he found...... running... u search for him....god where is he?.. how could u take him away from me again?...why isnt he here with me?.... dosnt he love me?..... dosnt he want to do anything and everything to be with me?.......y dosnt he understand that ur crazy......that u need to see him..u need to prepare to say goodnight...to say goodbye....u need to leave on good terms.......u need to breathe into him one last time.........why dosnt he understand the insane amounts of love within you?...y dosnt he understand ur tears.... ur fear... ur loneliness...ur shaking nightmares....
u hope he understands u...and soon... because ur gettin sick... ur getting scared more and more every day..... ur losing ur mind at the most unfortunate moments...the world turns on u unpredictably....pushing u to the ground....crushing ur lungs.... racing ur heart..... SCREAMING IN YOUR MIND THAT YOU WILL DIE!!!....... all from fear... from loneliness... from him not wanting you first....
u want the love... to heal you... to take away the nightmares... not pills,,... no meds.... the love you want his love so much... its all u want.....everything u want is simply that.... he controls ur heart......in his palm... it lies.... not daring to move.. not daring to live for itself... its so inlove with him
the night appears..... as u stare up at the sky... u smile at the stars..... you look around u to share the smile...but he isnt there....u turn in circles.... no where is he found...... running... u search for him....god where is he?.. how could u take him away from me again?...why isnt he here with me?.... dosnt he love me?..... dosnt he want to do anything and everything to be with me?.......y dosnt he understand that ur crazy......that u need to see him..u need to prepare to say goodnight...to say goodbye....u need to leave on good terms.......u need to breathe into him one last time.........why dosnt he understand the insane amounts of love within you?...y dosnt he understand ur tears.... ur fear... ur loneliness...ur shaking nightmares....
u hope he understands u...and soon... because ur gettin sick... ur getting scared more and more every day..... ur losing ur mind at the most unfortunate moments...the world turns on u unpredictably....pushing u to the ground....crushing ur lungs.... racing ur heart..... SCREAMING IN YOUR MIND THAT YOU WILL DIE!!!....... all from fear... from loneliness... from him not wanting you first....
u want the love... to heal you... to take away the nightmares... not pills,,... no meds.... the love you want his love so much... its all u want.....everything u want is simply that.... he controls ur heart......in his palm... it lies.... not daring to move.. not daring to live for itself... its so inlove with him