(no subject)
I had a flash back of the mother dying today...kinda sucked, and I don know where the hell it came from...i remember listening from the top bed on my bunk bed the sound of my mother breathing, and then i couldn't hear her breathing for a while so i got up to check her and she was sky-blue and bloated. When I grabbed her arm it was cold so I started yelling as i turned to run out the door. I was screaming for my father as i dashed down the stair to head for the phone. As i got to the phone my father had run out of his room and looked at me and asked what was wrong. I kept screaming "MOM MOM" as i dialed 911, so he ran upstairs and I heard him say "oh god, jeanne" the phone only rang 3 times and someone answered in a uncaring dull voice. I said "my mom, my mom, have to help mom" so she told me to calm myslef and asked for directions. " After i gave her directions i handed my father the phone and he ran up the stairs with it, as I walked out the front door and waited for the flashing lights to arrive. it seemed like enternity for the lights to arrive, but when they did I was jumping and waving my little arms and screaming "over here" They stopped in front of my mailbox and a team rushed past me. A police officer stopped next to me and said something, but I was too confused to hear him...we walked down the hallway together and he sat me down on the couch and went upstairs. I was sitting there for 10 minutes, not making a single movement. The cop came back, sat down and started making small talk with me. He asked what my name was, where i go to school and do i play any sports. As he stood up a short, middle aged stocky officer stood across from me and told a group of people who were in that general area that they needed to start picking up, and that it was over. Confused as I was I became angry and started shouting "what does that mean? SHES NOT DEAD, SHES NOT DEAD." That didn't last long because the stocky officer told me to sit down and chill out in a irritaed voice. I went upstairs to see what happpend and I saw a big dark bag, people started yelling at me to get down, and i did, but not before i saw. The officer who was talking to me before called me over and we stood outside. I was angry, aggrivated, sad and confused. There seemed to be a calm in the house. The officer was talking again. He said "its not easy. It's really not easy, but you should be ok." The people started leaving and I went back inside and sat on the same spot on the couch i was on before. My father told me to go sleep at my neighbors house across the street, and i did.