Seriousness.....when does it end?
Wow...something actually worth putting in a journal. All drama of course. Lets start from the beginning shall we. I met someone....someone special. My soul mate. A person I can actually say that I loved. Time goes by. Communication becomes crippled. BUt I dont know why. Maybe it was because of the distance. She is after all a good drive away. No. That wasnt it. The excuse was....It went to far. Her feelings were too strong for me, and it just couldn't work. Thats fine. I can accept that. Honesty is after all, the best way to go. But she continues on to tell me that she feels something for me..a very strong and mysetrious happiness that she loves. Do you know what its like when a guy hear's that from a girl he loves. Its like Heaven. SOme more time passes. Of course the fool that I am doesn't let go. Falling more and more into her grip with each minute that passes. This can be easily done given the fact I was in love. And suddenly, all commmunication stops. Why? I don't understand? Today i finally get the answers. I get "the call" Not just any call. Words spoken that you have nightmares about. Words that can only do harm to the ones they are spoken to. Why even speak them to me? What I don't know can't hurt me. She tells me that a man ripped her heart out when she first met me. So she "considered" herself single at the time. But soon after they picked up the pieces becuase she knew they fit together I guess. Turns out she was seeing him the whole time, during all the letters, and all the thoughts. During all of this time of pation, karma, and love, someone was in between, taking it all in. Don't you think I should have known about this lets saaay in September? When it all started? Don't you think this information could have saved me pain, and sadness? I'll never understand how the female gender thinks. I've tried and tried. I am so good helping everyone else, but I can't get myself together no way no how. I use to think it was me, but really, It's not. My head is clear. But yes, there is a such thing as being to nice. Of caring to much. Thats the story of my life. The next time I open up will be the last....