Awesomeness
As anyone who knows me can tell you. I care a lot about awesomeness. I must spend at least half of my day trying to decide what is awesome and what is not.
Awesomeness is something a lot like the force. It binds us and penetrates us. I can't imagine a world without awesomeness, and by God. I don't want to.
But what is awesomeness? Is there a universal definition? Can it be lost and re-acquired? I mulled over this for many hours; lost in a barrage of music, movies, art, literature and all the other things that make up life. I found a few things:
1. Awesomeness is cannot be bound to a particular medium: Beer is awesome, Batman is awesome, Homestar Runner is awesome. These things have little in common except for awesomeness.
2. Ideas and forms are frequently awesome more often than real objects, but something that is real and awesome is more awesome than the idea: Wow! What a confusing sentence! Here's what I mean by that: I can say that the first matrix movie was awesome. But it's just a work of fiction. It's awesomeness is a quality that is attached to the idea of the matrix, and nothing physical or concrete. That's fine and dandy, but when compared to something real like beer; it's quite clear that the Matrix just doesn't step up. So the moral is: I can imagine something that by it's own definition is awesome, but it doesn't become truly awesome until it is realized.
3. Awesomeness is in a state of flux: Nothing is awesome all the time. Not even Batman. I'm sorry to say it but Batman and Robin was a pox on humanity; however batman begins was a work of pure genius. The Red Hot Chili Peppers used to be awesome, but listen to their most recent album. if you survive (suicide is a common response to stadium arcadium) you'll say "That wasn't awesome, blood sugar sex magic was awesome".
4. Awesomeness is a personal perception for everyone but me: some people think that fall out boy is awesome. Obviously they aren't, but awesomeness is totally subjective to everyone but me. I'm the only person who knows what objective awesomeness is.
I've developed a scale of awesomeness. It's based off of the scale of hardness used in Geology. Anything with an awesomeness level of 1 is considered extremely low in awesomeness, and a score of 10 is extremely good.
Paris Hilton has an aggregate awesomeness score of 1. I can't think of anything awesome about her; I would call her polar opposite to be Batman. I can't really think of anything more awesome than Batman (I'm excluding the body of Batman's work here, and looking at Batman as a character).
Other examples of awesomeness are as follows:
Buffalo wild wings is a 7, if not for all the annoying basketball hype so many nights of the week it would be damn near perfect.
Aerosmith is a 2. They might have made it to a 6 if they had called it quits back before they totally sucked but they've dragged themselves down over the years of mindless shit rock.
Beer is a 9. Why not a perfect score you ask? Well, beer can be abused and will make you sick or you'll trip over you're dog. As much as I love beer, it's not without its downsides.
If you need help calculating the awesomeness of something, just drop me a comment and we'll sort it out.
Awesomeness is something a lot like the force. It binds us and penetrates us. I can't imagine a world without awesomeness, and by God. I don't want to.
But what is awesomeness? Is there a universal definition? Can it be lost and re-acquired? I mulled over this for many hours; lost in a barrage of music, movies, art, literature and all the other things that make up life. I found a few things:
1. Awesomeness is cannot be bound to a particular medium: Beer is awesome, Batman is awesome, Homestar Runner is awesome. These things have little in common except for awesomeness.
2. Ideas and forms are frequently awesome more often than real objects, but something that is real and awesome is more awesome than the idea: Wow! What a confusing sentence! Here's what I mean by that: I can say that the first matrix movie was awesome. But it's just a work of fiction. It's awesomeness is a quality that is attached to the idea of the matrix, and nothing physical or concrete. That's fine and dandy, but when compared to something real like beer; it's quite clear that the Matrix just doesn't step up. So the moral is: I can imagine something that by it's own definition is awesome, but it doesn't become truly awesome until it is realized.
3. Awesomeness is in a state of flux: Nothing is awesome all the time. Not even Batman. I'm sorry to say it but Batman and Robin was a pox on humanity; however batman begins was a work of pure genius. The Red Hot Chili Peppers used to be awesome, but listen to their most recent album. if you survive (suicide is a common response to stadium arcadium) you'll say "That wasn't awesome, blood sugar sex magic was awesome".
4. Awesomeness is a personal perception for everyone but me: some people think that fall out boy is awesome. Obviously they aren't, but awesomeness is totally subjective to everyone but me. I'm the only person who knows what objective awesomeness is.
I've developed a scale of awesomeness. It's based off of the scale of hardness used in Geology. Anything with an awesomeness level of 1 is considered extremely low in awesomeness, and a score of 10 is extremely good.
Paris Hilton has an aggregate awesomeness score of 1. I can't think of anything awesome about her; I would call her polar opposite to be Batman. I can't really think of anything more awesome than Batman (I'm excluding the body of Batman's work here, and looking at Batman as a character).
Other examples of awesomeness are as follows:
Buffalo wild wings is a 7, if not for all the annoying basketball hype so many nights of the week it would be damn near perfect.
Aerosmith is a 2. They might have made it to a 6 if they had called it quits back before they totally sucked but they've dragged themselves down over the years of mindless shit rock.
Beer is a 9. Why not a perfect score you ask? Well, beer can be abused and will make you sick or you'll trip over you're dog. As much as I love beer, it's not without its downsides.
If you need help calculating the awesomeness of something, just drop me a comment and we'll sort it out.