Now I Know What I’m Gonna Do. (1/1)
Title: Now I Know What I'm Going to Do. (1/1)
Author: Pulpobsessed
Pairing: Dave Karofsky/Kurt Hummel
Characters: Kurt Hummel, Dave Karofsky.
Rating: R
Summary: Sometimes dreams need a little help to happen…sometimes, dreams come true.
Genre: FriendshipFic, Romance.
Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Glee.
A/N: I was disgusted by what happened on the finale, so much so that I was inspired to write this little One Shot…I hope you like it! The title is a line from Elton John's A Dream Come True.
It was only eleven in the morning and it already had to be high 80s…which might not mean much, but it certainly was making Dave sweat. Especially since he was standing in the middle of his front yard with only a Blue Jackets baseball cap to keep him cool.
His eyes started to water as a bead of sweat slid down his forehead and fell into his eye. Dave grumbled in annoyance as his eye started to sting. He paused, yanked off his sunglasses and wiped his face. Then, after slipping his brand new Ray-Bans back on - they had been a graduation present from his uncle - he continue to push the lawn mower across the front lawn.
Dave hated cutting the lawn. Hated it. It was the one chore that he despised most of all and it was always the one that his dad got him to do. All his dad had to do was frown at him in that pathetic way, pout a little and point to his bad knee - which actually hadn’t hurt him in years - and Dave found himself sweating to death in the bright hot sun.
Today had been no different. He’d gotten up. Had breakfast and was just sitting down to read this month’s issue of Detective Comics when his dad had started rubbing his knee.
One look at his dad’s face and Dave knew he was a goner.
So he’d changed into an activewear cut off tee, a pair of basketball shorts, and his favorite Blue Jackets hat, he’d popped in his earbuds and went outside to unearth the mower from the depth of their incredibly unorganized garage.
And so, here he was, with the new Garbage album blaring in his ears, shoving this demonic beast of a lawnmower across the front yard.
At least he’d managed to convince his dad to make steak for dinner…if he had to mow the damn lawn, he’d better get something out of it.
Plus, being out here gave him a little time to think…and he did have a lot to think about.
The last couple of months had been good to him. He’d gone back to school - transferring to Lima Senior, where he’d made no real effort to hide his sexuality and had actually found some small measure of acceptance. And sure, it had been fucking hard to get people to see him as someone other than the gay kid who tried to hang himself, but his grades and his prowess at sports got people’s attention…so slowly, he managed to overcome that particular stigma.
And he actually had friends.
Not a lot of friends, mind you. But friends nonetheless.
Sarah. Mark. Simon.
And Kurt.
Yeah…Dave might not be completely out of that dark pit of depression, but he was well on his way to it.
Plus, he had that acceptance letter.
A letter that only he and his dad knew about, so far. It was conditional on how his finals went, but he was pretty fucking confident that he was going to be college bound in September.
College bound with at least one of his friends.
But for now, he was stuck mowing the law and listening to Shirley Manson belt it out through his ear buds.
Of course, the sooner he was done, the sooner he could get back to the small pile of comics that he’d planned on reading today. So, in an effort to get to Avengers vs X-Men sooner, he picked up his pace and tried to ignore the next bead of sweat that fell into his eye.
All progress stopped, however, when he saw Kurt’s SUV pull up. Dave stood still, head cocked to the side, watching as the driver’s side door opened and the tall slim figure of his friend climbed out.
Kurt stood there for a second. Staring down at the pavement.
Dave opened his mouth to call out. Maybe make some stupid comment about Kurt forgetting how to walk…or something lame like that.
But then Kurt looked up at him.
And Dave knew something bad had happened.
He shut off the mower and stepped around it to walk towards the curb. His bare feet kicking up freshly mown lawn clippings and he hurried towards his friend.
Kurt took a few steps forward. His face started to crumble. He broke into a run and crashed into Dave.
Kurt’s arms flew around Dave, hugging him tightly.
Dave was all too aware that he’d been sweating for at least the past hour. That he stank of sweat and sunblock lotion. He was all too aware that his sweaty gross shirt was probably ruining Kurt’s expensive looking shirt and vest. Despite all that, he slowly brought his arms up and hugged Kurt back.
Dave suddenly remembered his earbuds.
He yanked them out and let them fall to the grass.
Kurt was crying.
No, not crying. Sobbing.
Dave started rubbing circles into his back.
Dave wasn’t exactly experienced at stuff like this. He didn’t really know how to deal with this…he had a hard enough time dealing with his own crazy emotions.
The only other time Kurt had ever been like this was back when Dave the Tormentor had been around…back when Dave’s only mission in life had been to torture and humiliate Kurt on a daily basis.
So, whatever was going on…it was really bad.
Should he say something? Should he try to communicate…what do people say in moments like this? Something comforting right?
“Shhh…it’s ok. Whatever’s wrong…it’ll be ok.”
He hoped that wasn’t too lame…but it only made Kurt cry harder.
After fifteen minutes, Dave noticed that Kurt’s breathing was starting to become labored. He needed to calm him down quickly or Kurt was going to start to hyperventilate.
“Kurt…” Dave pulled back from their embrace. “Listen to me. You need to calm down, ok. You need to calm down. Please. Take some deep breaths ok…just breath in and out.”
After forcing Kurt to do exactly that for a few minutes, Kurt’s breathing slowly started to calm down.
Dave smile at him in a way he prayed was reassuringly. “Let’s go inside and we can talk. Ok?”
Kurt took some large gulps of breath and nodded slowly. “Y-y-yeah.”
“Ok. Good. Come on.” Dave turned and started towards the house.
“Whataboutthemower?” It came out in a rush. One long string of letters that made up the question.
Dave paused and glanced at the demon beast. “Leave it…it someone steals it, means I don’t have to mow anymore today.”
****************
Dave placed a glass of lemonade in front of Kurt.
“Here…drink something. You’ll feel better.”
Kurt dutifully picked up the glass and took a sip. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome…” Dave sat down across from his friend. “Feeling better?”
“No.”
“Yeah. I hate it when people think that a glass of water or whatever will magically make everything ok.”
“Didn’t I do that to you that time you came over?”
“Probably. Can’t remember.”
“Oh.” Kurt frowned and stared down at the glass in his hands. He wiped at his eyes as fresh tears started to fall.
“Jesus, Kurt. What’s going on?”
“I…I..It’s just not fucking fair!”
“What’s not…”
A cough from the doorway interrupted him. Dave turned to see his dad, with a concerned look on his face. He was holding a mug and had his glasses pushed up onto his forehead. He’d probably been reading the paper when he heard their voices.
“Hey dad.”
“Is everything ok? What’s going on?”
“Kurt just needed to talk…we’re gonna hang out in here for a bit ok?”
“Ok. Kurt? Are you alright?”
“Not really…I didn’t know where else to go…I just wanted a friend.”
Dave’s dad stepped forward, he put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder and squeezed.
“Well…you’re always welcome here. No matter what, ok?”
“Thank you.” Kurt continued to stare at his glass.
Dave and his dad looked at each other and had one of their weird silent conversations.
The look in his dad’s eyes told him to come get him if it was really bad…Dave nodded.
“I’ll be in the living room…there’s um…those brownies from last night, if you’re hungry.”
“Thanks dad.”
Both boys were silent until Dave heard the TV get switched on and the sounds of CNN drifted out of the living room. A ruse, Dave knew, to give them the illusion of privacy, whereas Dave’s dad would use his supersonic hearing to listen to everything they said.
“Kurt…talk to me.”
“I…I didn’t get in.”
“To NYADA? Are you serious?”
“Yes…they said no.”
“Jesus…I’m so sorry.”
“But Rachel did.”
“Oh.”
“And today I had to go put her on a fucking train so she could go off and live out all of her dreams! She gets to fucking live my dream…it was supposed to be me. It’s just not fair! It’s not!”
“I know. I know…”
Dave reached out and slipped his hand into Kurt’s.
Kurt squeezed his eyes shut. His body shook slightly as tears seeped slowly from underneath the lids.
“What am I supposed to do now? Huh? I didn’t have a back-up plan. I have no idea what to do. And I had to act like this was the greatest thing ever…her getting on that train killed me! It killed me.”
Dave just nodded. He knew Kurt just needed to talk.
“I just thought that maybe…just maybe…this would be my turn to shine. That this would be my turn to get the thing I really wanted. That maybe my dreams would come true. And not just her…because she’s always managed to get everything. Every solo, every lead part…everything…and Kurt Hummel, he just gets to stay in the background, swaying like some pathetic backup singer. I thought it was my time! Mine! And what the fuck am I supposed to do now? Stay in Lima? Stay here in this backwards, ugly little town…I was meant for so much more! I was meant to do great things…”
“What about your other schools?”
“What?” Kurt looked up, sadness radiating from his eyes.
“Other schools?” Dave tried again. “The other colleges you applied to?”
“I didn’t apply to any?”
“Huh?”
“I’d been so focused on NYADA that I never thought to apply anywhere else. Even when dad and Carole told me to cover all my basis…I ignored them. I figured I didn’t need to do that. I was just so sure.”
‘So…you’re saying that you applied to just the one school?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.”
“I know. I really am the world’s dumbest person.”
“No. You’re not, Kurt. You wanted your dream so badly, that you ignored everything else.”
“Dad says that I can always go to Lima Community College or apply for late entry to OSU or something…but that’s not what I want. I want to go to a place where my dreams can come true. Why not me…”
Kurt squeezed his eyes shut again.
After a few moments, Dave allowed himself to break the silence. “What did Blaine say?”
Kurt glanced up, confused. It was no secret that Blaine and Dave did not really get along. There was a sense of mutual and grudging respect between the two - but on the whole, they just didn’t really like each other.
Which probably explained why Kurt looked confused at the question.
“Um…”
Dave sighed. “I know he and I aren’t exactly the best of friends, but that doesn’t mean I don’t recognize his existence.” Which was slightly ironic, seeing as how Blaine often chose to ignore Dave altogether.
“He had a few things to say…”
Ah, now they were getting to the heart of the matter.
“Such as?”
“That maybe I need to re-evaluate my dream. And that this way we didn’t have to be apart…”
“Exactly what does he mean by re-evaluate your dream?”
“I don’t know…I really don’t. I know he doesn’t mean to sound like a jerk, but…well he did. I guess…I just…”
“Wanted someone to tell you not to give up? Tell you to keep fighting? That you are good enough to do anything you wanted?”
Kurt looked at Dave. Nodded slowly.
Dave nodded back. Then, leaning forward on the chair, said in the firmest voice he could muster.
“You are good enough to get out of this fucking town. You will get out of this place. Don’t you dare give up on those dreams. You are one of the most amazing people in the world…you have to keep fighting, Kurt. Those dreams - and the way you helped me dream - and your drive…it saved me. I know it’s stupid, but it’s true. Just…don’t give up.”
Dave held Kurt’s hand even tighter, as if squeezing it would pump some more life and hope into the small boy.
And Dave watched as Kurt let the tears start to fall. His entire body starting to shake.
“N…n…not fair!”
“I know.”
The two boys sat in the kitchen for a long while while Kurt cried.
Dave had seen this before. He’d lived this before.
This was the moment when all of your hopes and dreams come under attack. Where the reality you have to live is so very different from the reality you created for yourself in your mind…the reality you wanted so desperately to be real.
Dave remembered the sheer unbridled desperation that came with this feeling…not knowing where to turn. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing how to deal with what was happening.
Not knowing where to turn.
And for Dave, when he got that desperate, the only place he could think of to turn to had been a chair and a belt in his closet…
That was not a reality that he would never let Kurt get to.
Not ever.
Slowly, Dave slipped off his chair. He shimmied on his knees over to Kurt, wrapping his arms around the sobbing boy.
“It’s ok, Kurt...I promise. This is just a hiccup. You’ll get there...I promise.”
Kurt responded by wrapping his arms around Dave’s neck and burying his face in Dave’s hair.
**********************
A few hours later, Dave watched as Kurt drove off in his SUV in the direction of his house.
He had no idea what waited for Kurt when he got home. No idea if there was unbridled support or just quiet resignation that Kurt would stay in Lima.
No idea if someone out there was going to step up and help Kurt find his dreams...step up and help change Kurt’s life in the way that Kurt had changed his.
Dave turned around and grabbed his iPod, sunglasses and hat off the small table in the front hallway and then started towards the mower again.
“Dave?”
His dad stepped out of the living room, looking worried.
“Yeah.”
“Everything ok?”
“Yeah...Kurt just needed a friend.”
“Are you ok?”
“I’m ok...I promise.”
“You’d tell me...right?”
“I would. I promise you, I’m ok. I just want to cut the lawn and think for a bit ok?”
“Ok.” Dave’s dad looked him up and down a few times. The worried expression on his face didn’t fade, but then he turned and went back into the living room.
Dave slipped his ear buds back in and scrolled through his music...Finally deciding on Lady Gaga.
Fuck...maybe Kurt’s having a bigger impact on him than he realized.
He pushed the mower through the grass, making even and symmetrical lines...until it looked immaculate.
And the whole time, Kurt was never far from his mind.
Once the lawn was done, he went up to his room, shed his clothes and went into his bathroom.
He turned on the shower, adjusting the water to cool him down a bit.
He let the water pound down onto his head. Finally, after letting the water bring down his body temperature, he reached out and grabbed his body wash.
Twenty minutes later, Dave, dressed in a pair of black cargo shorts and his Captain America t-shirt, sat down in front of his laptop.
He opened a browser and went to the first page he had bookmarked.
An hour later, he made a phone call.
He figured his dad wouldn’t mind the long distance charge…not when he explained why there was a forty-five minute charge to New York City.
Then he turned back to his laptop and started printing.
He glanced at his bedside clock. It had been three hours since Kurt had left. He wondered what Kurt was doing.
He wondered if Kurt was home.
Well…one way to find out.
He grabbed all the pages he’d printed out and put them into a folder and then added the notes he’d made during his phone call.
He ran downstairs, pausing by the living room, where his dad was reading.
“Hey dad?”
His dad looked up. “Hey! Ok, I get what you see in these books now…”
Dave smiled…he’d finally managed to convince his dad to read Game of Thrones…and so far the man had demolished the first three.
“I think you told me that after book two.”
“Book three and four are way better!”
“I know. Hey dad, I’m going out for a bit, ok?”
“Where are you going?”
“To Kurt’s…I…I want to give him something.”
“Does this have to do with what happened earlier?”
“Yeah…”
“Ok…” His dad paused for a moment…a shadow passed across his face. Then, he nodded and gave his son a small smile. “I’m going to make dinner around seven. Call if you’re going to be later than that…oh and can you pick up some tomatoes?”
“Yeah…text me so I don’t forget.”
“Do you have your phone?”
“I do.”
“Good. Be careful!”
Dave shouted a promise over his shoulder, shoved his feet into a pair of flip flops, and ran out the door. He jumped in his car, a hand-me-down from his dad, and pulled out of the driveway.
Ten minutes later, Dave was pulling up in front of the Hummel house.
He walked to the front door and rang the bell.
Burt Hummel opened the door.
“David?” The older man looked somewhat surprised to see him.
“Hi Mr. Hummel…can I see Kurt?”
“I keep telling you…Burt…and I’m not so sure he’s up for visitors today. He’s upset about NYADA.”
“I know…he came to see me earlier.”
“Ah…I wondered where he went.”
“It’s important.”
Burt paused for a moment, thinking. Then nodded and stepped back to let Dave in.
Like he did everytime he entered Kurt’s house, Dave was awestruck at how different their circumstances had become in a year…last year, Dave was quite certain that Burt would have called the police if Dave showed up on their doorstep. But ever since Dave’s…attempt…he’d become another member of their family.
Dave could still feel the hug Finn’s mom had given him the first time he’d come over…still with yellowing bruises on his neck and his voice hoarse and a look of fear and grief in his eyes.
Now, four months later, it seemed as though his presence was just commonplace.
“Kurt’s up in his room…you can just head up if you like. Although, maybe take him up something to eat…he hasn’t eaten all day.”
Burt disappeared into the kitchen and reappeared with a plastic wrapped sandwich on a plate.
Dave nodded as he took the plate and went up the stairs.
Kurt’s door was slightly ajar. He put the plate with the sandwich down on the floor and then knocked softly.
“Yeah?” Kurt’s voice was muffled.
Dave pushed the door open. “Hey…”
Kurt was curled up on the bed, clutching something to his chest.
“Dave?! What are you doing here?”
Kurt sat up and dropped whatever he was holding…Dave’s eyes immediately went to the object.
A stuffed monkey.
The stuffed monkey.
Kurt saw where he was looking and blushed.
“I, um, named him Mr. Banana. I was going to call him The Fury…but that just didn’t fit with the person who gave him to me…anymore.”
“I never expected you to keep him.”
“I never throw away a gift…especially from a friend.”
“Wow. Um…thanks.”
“But…why are you here?”
“I have something for you?” Dave wasn’t sure why he phrased it like a question.
“Do you?” Kurt smiled slightly.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you after you left…I just…I hate seeing you so sad and broken. And you’ve given me so much! I…I wanted…to…I want…um…here!”
Dave shoved the folder at Kurt.
Kurt reached up and took it. He opened it and flipped through it.
“What is all this?”
“It’s everything you need to apply to NYU and the Tisch School. You can still apply…I talked to the Dean’s office and Admissions…all my notes are there…they said you can still totally apply and get in to start in September. You might not be able to get a scholarship right away, but maybe next year, or even in second semester. It’s this really awesome school…all about the arts. Dramatic arts. Your…um…regular arts. Like painting and stuff. And film…or artistic criticism… But yeah…you can still do this.”
Kurt stared down at the papers in his hand. Then looked up at Dave, who was now feeling insanely awkward in the doorway to Kurt’s bedroom.
And for, what felt like the millionth time that day, Kurt started to cry.
“Oh shit…I didn’t mean to make you…”
Kurt launched himself off the bed and hugged Dave.
“Thank you…this…this is amazing.”
“You’re welcome…if you want help filling out the application, I…well I know how to do it.”
“No…no one’s ever done something like this for me before.”
“I just want you to realize your dream…that’s important to me.”
“Thank you.” Kurt pressed his face into Dave’s chest and let himself cry.
Dave hugged his loosely, he was all too aware that he was hugging Kurt with Kurt’s dad probably only a hundred feet away.
Kurt pulled back. “Come on…let’s start filling this stuff out!”
“Oh…your dad wants you to eat this.” Dave bent over and picked up the plate.
Kurt just smiled.
******************
As Dave opened the door to his house, the smell of bar-b-queuing steak filled his nostrils. He immediately started to salivate.
He walked into the kitchen and put the bag of tomatoes on the counter and the pint of ice cream, that he planned to eat later while watching a movie, went into the freezer. He opened the door to the deck and called out to his dad: “Hey! I’m back.”
His dad looked up from the grill, smiled at him, and yelled back. “Wanna come out and help me?”
“Sure.”
“Grab us each a beer…”
“Um…” Dave was certain he looked completely confused.
“One won’t kill you…”
Shaking his head, Dave grabbed a couple Samuel Adams from the fridge and went out to the deck. He handed one to his dad and took a swig from his own.
His dad nodded and took a long drag.
“So…” His dad started.
“Yeah…”
“You forgot to close your laptop today…”
“You snooped.”
“No…I learned my lesson after…after…that one time.”
“Can we not mention that, like ever again?”
“Deal…anyway, I went in to borrow the next book and saw your laptop…”
“It should have been asleep…”
“I bumped it.”
“You were snooping.”
“I’m proud of you.”
“…”
“I know what you did for Kurt…and I’m proud of you.”
“How did you…”
“Cause, you’re not going to the Tisch school.”
“Oh…”
“So yeah…I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks…”
“Did you tell Kurt?”
“Tell him what?”
“About NYU?”
“That was the whole point…”
“No…did you tell him that you got accepted there too?”
“I think he figured it out…I helped him with the application and pretty much knew exactly what to do.”
“Ah.”
“So…” Dave desperately wanted to change the topic, “what else are we having…”
He felt strangely and suddenly embarrassed.
“I made potato salad. You want to do a green salad?”
“Sure…” Dave moved to go back inside.
“Well…you might as well stay here and finish your beer first.”
Dave nodded and sat down on one of the patio chairs to watch his dad work the BBQ.
He smiled to himself.
Today had been a good day. It had been the kind of day that dreams were made of…or, rather it was the kind of day where dreams seemed to have the ability to come true.
And even though Dave hadn’t managed to sink himself into the world of Gotham City, he’d done something even better.
************
(Epilogue)
*2 Months Later*
Dave hovered the wii-mote over the play button for The Watchmen…he really loved this movie, but was still hesitating.
To be honest, he was having trouble deciding between this one and Limitless.
The Watchmen was…well, The Watchmen. But Limitless…had Bradley Cooper. A shirtless Bradley Cooper.
Of course, he could always do a double-feature. It was Saturday night…he had no real reason to get up early tomorrow. Except to hang out with Kurt.
Plus, his dad had long since gone up to his room to read and really didn’t really care how late Dave stayed up, so he could easily just watch both.
Deciding that he in fact did want a Saturday night double-feature, he picked The Watchmen first…cause if he was going to be totally honest, the only reason he wanted to watch Limitless was so he’d have some fantasy fodder for when he went to bed.
He pressed play and picked up his large bag of Doritos.
Just as The Comedian took his dive out the window, Dave’s phone announced the arrival of a text message. He grabbed the phone from the coffee-table and glanced at it.
Kurt.
Dave paused the movie.
Are you busy?
Without even thinking about it, Dave typed out a reply.
No.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah. Of course.
Are you staying in Ohio for college?
No. I’m not.
Dave sighed. He had hoped that Kurt would figure things out, but maybe he was just too emotionally wrapped up in his being reject to notice the hints Dave had dropped while they were filling out Kurt’s NYU application.
He knew he should have just told Kurt, but something held him back. Fear…maybe he’d been afraid that when Kurt found out that they shared the same dream, he’d be scared off.
Did you apply to NYU?
Yeah. I did.
And!?
Truth time.
Yeah, I got in. I applied back in January, before everything…I aced all my finals and got my final acceptance yesterday.
Why didn’t you tell me?
Honestly? I actually don’t know…
Well, I for one, am really really glad to know you’re coming to NYU…otherwise Mr. Bananas and I are going to be rather lonely.
Dave read that a few times…wait…what?
Does that mean…
Yeah. I’m in. I got an email yesterday…I’ve just been trying to figure out how to ask you if you got in before I told you.
Holy! Fuck!
Dave fist pumped the air.
So, you’ll be there…
With bells on.
Good…because I’ve kind of gotten used to you being around. And I don’t think you and I could do long distance…you’re good company for me and Mr. B.
Dave stared at Kurt’s last message for a very long time. There were a million different ways to interpret it. Could Dave read it as anything more than just the continuation of their friendship…one based on helping each other find and realize their dreams.
Or maybe, just maybe, could it mean that Dave’s dream…his dream of being with Kurt…might actually come true?
I like being around you…and what would my life be like without Mr. B in it. He’s very hug-able.
True. But I prefer cuddling up with a big soft bear myself.
Dave’s fingers paused. He had no idea how to take that…except…
Then…
Yeah…I meant it exactly the way you think I did…
Come over…please.
I’m bringing Mr. B…just so you know.
Author: Pulpobsessed
Pairing: Dave Karofsky/Kurt Hummel
Characters: Kurt Hummel, Dave Karofsky.
Rating: R
Summary: Sometimes dreams need a little help to happen…sometimes, dreams come true.
Genre: FriendshipFic, Romance.
Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Glee.
A/N: I was disgusted by what happened on the finale, so much so that I was inspired to write this little One Shot…I hope you like it! The title is a line from Elton John's A Dream Come True.
It was only eleven in the morning and it already had to be high 80s…which might not mean much, but it certainly was making Dave sweat. Especially since he was standing in the middle of his front yard with only a Blue Jackets baseball cap to keep him cool.
His eyes started to water as a bead of sweat slid down his forehead and fell into his eye. Dave grumbled in annoyance as his eye started to sting. He paused, yanked off his sunglasses and wiped his face. Then, after slipping his brand new Ray-Bans back on - they had been a graduation present from his uncle - he continue to push the lawn mower across the front lawn.
Dave hated cutting the lawn. Hated it. It was the one chore that he despised most of all and it was always the one that his dad got him to do. All his dad had to do was frown at him in that pathetic way, pout a little and point to his bad knee - which actually hadn’t hurt him in years - and Dave found himself sweating to death in the bright hot sun.
Today had been no different. He’d gotten up. Had breakfast and was just sitting down to read this month’s issue of Detective Comics when his dad had started rubbing his knee.
One look at his dad’s face and Dave knew he was a goner.
So he’d changed into an activewear cut off tee, a pair of basketball shorts, and his favorite Blue Jackets hat, he’d popped in his earbuds and went outside to unearth the mower from the depth of their incredibly unorganized garage.
And so, here he was, with the new Garbage album blaring in his ears, shoving this demonic beast of a lawnmower across the front yard.
At least he’d managed to convince his dad to make steak for dinner…if he had to mow the damn lawn, he’d better get something out of it.
Plus, being out here gave him a little time to think…and he did have a lot to think about.
The last couple of months had been good to him. He’d gone back to school - transferring to Lima Senior, where he’d made no real effort to hide his sexuality and had actually found some small measure of acceptance. And sure, it had been fucking hard to get people to see him as someone other than the gay kid who tried to hang himself, but his grades and his prowess at sports got people’s attention…so slowly, he managed to overcome that particular stigma.
And he actually had friends.
Not a lot of friends, mind you. But friends nonetheless.
Sarah. Mark. Simon.
And Kurt.
Yeah…Dave might not be completely out of that dark pit of depression, but he was well on his way to it.
Plus, he had that acceptance letter.
A letter that only he and his dad knew about, so far. It was conditional on how his finals went, but he was pretty fucking confident that he was going to be college bound in September.
College bound with at least one of his friends.
But for now, he was stuck mowing the law and listening to Shirley Manson belt it out through his ear buds.
Of course, the sooner he was done, the sooner he could get back to the small pile of comics that he’d planned on reading today. So, in an effort to get to Avengers vs X-Men sooner, he picked up his pace and tried to ignore the next bead of sweat that fell into his eye.
All progress stopped, however, when he saw Kurt’s SUV pull up. Dave stood still, head cocked to the side, watching as the driver’s side door opened and the tall slim figure of his friend climbed out.
Kurt stood there for a second. Staring down at the pavement.
Dave opened his mouth to call out. Maybe make some stupid comment about Kurt forgetting how to walk…or something lame like that.
But then Kurt looked up at him.
And Dave knew something bad had happened.
He shut off the mower and stepped around it to walk towards the curb. His bare feet kicking up freshly mown lawn clippings and he hurried towards his friend.
Kurt took a few steps forward. His face started to crumble. He broke into a run and crashed into Dave.
Kurt’s arms flew around Dave, hugging him tightly.
Dave was all too aware that he’d been sweating for at least the past hour. That he stank of sweat and sunblock lotion. He was all too aware that his sweaty gross shirt was probably ruining Kurt’s expensive looking shirt and vest. Despite all that, he slowly brought his arms up and hugged Kurt back.
Dave suddenly remembered his earbuds.
He yanked them out and let them fall to the grass.
Kurt was crying.
No, not crying. Sobbing.
Dave started rubbing circles into his back.
Dave wasn’t exactly experienced at stuff like this. He didn’t really know how to deal with this…he had a hard enough time dealing with his own crazy emotions.
The only other time Kurt had ever been like this was back when Dave the Tormentor had been around…back when Dave’s only mission in life had been to torture and humiliate Kurt on a daily basis.
So, whatever was going on…it was really bad.
Should he say something? Should he try to communicate…what do people say in moments like this? Something comforting right?
“Shhh…it’s ok. Whatever’s wrong…it’ll be ok.”
He hoped that wasn’t too lame…but it only made Kurt cry harder.
After fifteen minutes, Dave noticed that Kurt’s breathing was starting to become labored. He needed to calm him down quickly or Kurt was going to start to hyperventilate.
“Kurt…” Dave pulled back from their embrace. “Listen to me. You need to calm down, ok. You need to calm down. Please. Take some deep breaths ok…just breath in and out.”
After forcing Kurt to do exactly that for a few minutes, Kurt’s breathing slowly started to calm down.
Dave smile at him in a way he prayed was reassuringly. “Let’s go inside and we can talk. Ok?”
Kurt took some large gulps of breath and nodded slowly. “Y-y-yeah.”
“Ok. Good. Come on.” Dave turned and started towards the house.
“Whataboutthemower?” It came out in a rush. One long string of letters that made up the question.
Dave paused and glanced at the demon beast. “Leave it…it someone steals it, means I don’t have to mow anymore today.”
****************
Dave placed a glass of lemonade in front of Kurt.
“Here…drink something. You’ll feel better.”
Kurt dutifully picked up the glass and took a sip. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome…” Dave sat down across from his friend. “Feeling better?”
“No.”
“Yeah. I hate it when people think that a glass of water or whatever will magically make everything ok.”
“Didn’t I do that to you that time you came over?”
“Probably. Can’t remember.”
“Oh.” Kurt frowned and stared down at the glass in his hands. He wiped at his eyes as fresh tears started to fall.
“Jesus, Kurt. What’s going on?”
“I…I..It’s just not fucking fair!”
“What’s not…”
A cough from the doorway interrupted him. Dave turned to see his dad, with a concerned look on his face. He was holding a mug and had his glasses pushed up onto his forehead. He’d probably been reading the paper when he heard their voices.
“Hey dad.”
“Is everything ok? What’s going on?”
“Kurt just needed to talk…we’re gonna hang out in here for a bit ok?”
“Ok. Kurt? Are you alright?”
“Not really…I didn’t know where else to go…I just wanted a friend.”
Dave’s dad stepped forward, he put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder and squeezed.
“Well…you’re always welcome here. No matter what, ok?”
“Thank you.” Kurt continued to stare at his glass.
Dave and his dad looked at each other and had one of their weird silent conversations.
The look in his dad’s eyes told him to come get him if it was really bad…Dave nodded.
“I’ll be in the living room…there’s um…those brownies from last night, if you’re hungry.”
“Thanks dad.”
Both boys were silent until Dave heard the TV get switched on and the sounds of CNN drifted out of the living room. A ruse, Dave knew, to give them the illusion of privacy, whereas Dave’s dad would use his supersonic hearing to listen to everything they said.
“Kurt…talk to me.”
“I…I didn’t get in.”
“To NYADA? Are you serious?”
“Yes…they said no.”
“Jesus…I’m so sorry.”
“But Rachel did.”
“Oh.”
“And today I had to go put her on a fucking train so she could go off and live out all of her dreams! She gets to fucking live my dream…it was supposed to be me. It’s just not fair! It’s not!”
“I know. I know…”
Dave reached out and slipped his hand into Kurt’s.
Kurt squeezed his eyes shut. His body shook slightly as tears seeped slowly from underneath the lids.
“What am I supposed to do now? Huh? I didn’t have a back-up plan. I have no idea what to do. And I had to act like this was the greatest thing ever…her getting on that train killed me! It killed me.”
Dave just nodded. He knew Kurt just needed to talk.
“I just thought that maybe…just maybe…this would be my turn to shine. That this would be my turn to get the thing I really wanted. That maybe my dreams would come true. And not just her…because she’s always managed to get everything. Every solo, every lead part…everything…and Kurt Hummel, he just gets to stay in the background, swaying like some pathetic backup singer. I thought it was my time! Mine! And what the fuck am I supposed to do now? Stay in Lima? Stay here in this backwards, ugly little town…I was meant for so much more! I was meant to do great things…”
“What about your other schools?”
“What?” Kurt looked up, sadness radiating from his eyes.
“Other schools?” Dave tried again. “The other colleges you applied to?”
“I didn’t apply to any?”
“Huh?”
“I’d been so focused on NYADA that I never thought to apply anywhere else. Even when dad and Carole told me to cover all my basis…I ignored them. I figured I didn’t need to do that. I was just so sure.”
‘So…you’re saying that you applied to just the one school?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.”
“I know. I really am the world’s dumbest person.”
“No. You’re not, Kurt. You wanted your dream so badly, that you ignored everything else.”
“Dad says that I can always go to Lima Community College or apply for late entry to OSU or something…but that’s not what I want. I want to go to a place where my dreams can come true. Why not me…”
Kurt squeezed his eyes shut again.
After a few moments, Dave allowed himself to break the silence. “What did Blaine say?”
Kurt glanced up, confused. It was no secret that Blaine and Dave did not really get along. There was a sense of mutual and grudging respect between the two - but on the whole, they just didn’t really like each other.
Which probably explained why Kurt looked confused at the question.
“Um…”
Dave sighed. “I know he and I aren’t exactly the best of friends, but that doesn’t mean I don’t recognize his existence.” Which was slightly ironic, seeing as how Blaine often chose to ignore Dave altogether.
“He had a few things to say…”
Ah, now they were getting to the heart of the matter.
“Such as?”
“That maybe I need to re-evaluate my dream. And that this way we didn’t have to be apart…”
“Exactly what does he mean by re-evaluate your dream?”
“I don’t know…I really don’t. I know he doesn’t mean to sound like a jerk, but…well he did. I guess…I just…”
“Wanted someone to tell you not to give up? Tell you to keep fighting? That you are good enough to do anything you wanted?”
Kurt looked at Dave. Nodded slowly.
Dave nodded back. Then, leaning forward on the chair, said in the firmest voice he could muster.
“You are good enough to get out of this fucking town. You will get out of this place. Don’t you dare give up on those dreams. You are one of the most amazing people in the world…you have to keep fighting, Kurt. Those dreams - and the way you helped me dream - and your drive…it saved me. I know it’s stupid, but it’s true. Just…don’t give up.”
Dave held Kurt’s hand even tighter, as if squeezing it would pump some more life and hope into the small boy.
And Dave watched as Kurt let the tears start to fall. His entire body starting to shake.
“N…n…not fair!”
“I know.”
The two boys sat in the kitchen for a long while while Kurt cried.
Dave had seen this before. He’d lived this before.
This was the moment when all of your hopes and dreams come under attack. Where the reality you have to live is so very different from the reality you created for yourself in your mind…the reality you wanted so desperately to be real.
Dave remembered the sheer unbridled desperation that came with this feeling…not knowing where to turn. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing how to deal with what was happening.
Not knowing where to turn.
And for Dave, when he got that desperate, the only place he could think of to turn to had been a chair and a belt in his closet…
That was not a reality that he would never let Kurt get to.
Not ever.
Slowly, Dave slipped off his chair. He shimmied on his knees over to Kurt, wrapping his arms around the sobbing boy.
“It’s ok, Kurt...I promise. This is just a hiccup. You’ll get there...I promise.”
Kurt responded by wrapping his arms around Dave’s neck and burying his face in Dave’s hair.
**********************
A few hours later, Dave watched as Kurt drove off in his SUV in the direction of his house.
He had no idea what waited for Kurt when he got home. No idea if there was unbridled support or just quiet resignation that Kurt would stay in Lima.
No idea if someone out there was going to step up and help Kurt find his dreams...step up and help change Kurt’s life in the way that Kurt had changed his.
Dave turned around and grabbed his iPod, sunglasses and hat off the small table in the front hallway and then started towards the mower again.
“Dave?”
His dad stepped out of the living room, looking worried.
“Yeah.”
“Everything ok?”
“Yeah...Kurt just needed a friend.”
“Are you ok?”
“I’m ok...I promise.”
“You’d tell me...right?”
“I would. I promise you, I’m ok. I just want to cut the lawn and think for a bit ok?”
“Ok.” Dave’s dad looked him up and down a few times. The worried expression on his face didn’t fade, but then he turned and went back into the living room.
Dave slipped his ear buds back in and scrolled through his music...Finally deciding on Lady Gaga.
Fuck...maybe Kurt’s having a bigger impact on him than he realized.
He pushed the mower through the grass, making even and symmetrical lines...until it looked immaculate.
And the whole time, Kurt was never far from his mind.
Once the lawn was done, he went up to his room, shed his clothes and went into his bathroom.
He turned on the shower, adjusting the water to cool him down a bit.
He let the water pound down onto his head. Finally, after letting the water bring down his body temperature, he reached out and grabbed his body wash.
Twenty minutes later, Dave, dressed in a pair of black cargo shorts and his Captain America t-shirt, sat down in front of his laptop.
He opened a browser and went to the first page he had bookmarked.
An hour later, he made a phone call.
He figured his dad wouldn’t mind the long distance charge…not when he explained why there was a forty-five minute charge to New York City.
Then he turned back to his laptop and started printing.
He glanced at his bedside clock. It had been three hours since Kurt had left. He wondered what Kurt was doing.
He wondered if Kurt was home.
Well…one way to find out.
He grabbed all the pages he’d printed out and put them into a folder and then added the notes he’d made during his phone call.
He ran downstairs, pausing by the living room, where his dad was reading.
“Hey dad?”
His dad looked up. “Hey! Ok, I get what you see in these books now…”
Dave smiled…he’d finally managed to convince his dad to read Game of Thrones…and so far the man had demolished the first three.
“I think you told me that after book two.”
“Book three and four are way better!”
“I know. Hey dad, I’m going out for a bit, ok?”
“Where are you going?”
“To Kurt’s…I…I want to give him something.”
“Does this have to do with what happened earlier?”
“Yeah…”
“Ok…” His dad paused for a moment…a shadow passed across his face. Then, he nodded and gave his son a small smile. “I’m going to make dinner around seven. Call if you’re going to be later than that…oh and can you pick up some tomatoes?”
“Yeah…text me so I don’t forget.”
“Do you have your phone?”
“I do.”
“Good. Be careful!”
Dave shouted a promise over his shoulder, shoved his feet into a pair of flip flops, and ran out the door. He jumped in his car, a hand-me-down from his dad, and pulled out of the driveway.
Ten minutes later, Dave was pulling up in front of the Hummel house.
He walked to the front door and rang the bell.
Burt Hummel opened the door.
“David?” The older man looked somewhat surprised to see him.
“Hi Mr. Hummel…can I see Kurt?”
“I keep telling you…Burt…and I’m not so sure he’s up for visitors today. He’s upset about NYADA.”
“I know…he came to see me earlier.”
“Ah…I wondered where he went.”
“It’s important.”
Burt paused for a moment, thinking. Then nodded and stepped back to let Dave in.
Like he did everytime he entered Kurt’s house, Dave was awestruck at how different their circumstances had become in a year…last year, Dave was quite certain that Burt would have called the police if Dave showed up on their doorstep. But ever since Dave’s…attempt…he’d become another member of their family.
Dave could still feel the hug Finn’s mom had given him the first time he’d come over…still with yellowing bruises on his neck and his voice hoarse and a look of fear and grief in his eyes.
Now, four months later, it seemed as though his presence was just commonplace.
“Kurt’s up in his room…you can just head up if you like. Although, maybe take him up something to eat…he hasn’t eaten all day.”
Burt disappeared into the kitchen and reappeared with a plastic wrapped sandwich on a plate.
Dave nodded as he took the plate and went up the stairs.
Kurt’s door was slightly ajar. He put the plate with the sandwich down on the floor and then knocked softly.
“Yeah?” Kurt’s voice was muffled.
Dave pushed the door open. “Hey…”
Kurt was curled up on the bed, clutching something to his chest.
“Dave?! What are you doing here?”
Kurt sat up and dropped whatever he was holding…Dave’s eyes immediately went to the object.
A stuffed monkey.
The stuffed monkey.
Kurt saw where he was looking and blushed.
“I, um, named him Mr. Banana. I was going to call him The Fury…but that just didn’t fit with the person who gave him to me…anymore.”
“I never expected you to keep him.”
“I never throw away a gift…especially from a friend.”
“Wow. Um…thanks.”
“But…why are you here?”
“I have something for you?” Dave wasn’t sure why he phrased it like a question.
“Do you?” Kurt smiled slightly.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you after you left…I just…I hate seeing you so sad and broken. And you’ve given me so much! I…I wanted…to…I want…um…here!”
Dave shoved the folder at Kurt.
Kurt reached up and took it. He opened it and flipped through it.
“What is all this?”
“It’s everything you need to apply to NYU and the Tisch School. You can still apply…I talked to the Dean’s office and Admissions…all my notes are there…they said you can still totally apply and get in to start in September. You might not be able to get a scholarship right away, but maybe next year, or even in second semester. It’s this really awesome school…all about the arts. Dramatic arts. Your…um…regular arts. Like painting and stuff. And film…or artistic criticism… But yeah…you can still do this.”
Kurt stared down at the papers in his hand. Then looked up at Dave, who was now feeling insanely awkward in the doorway to Kurt’s bedroom.
And for, what felt like the millionth time that day, Kurt started to cry.
“Oh shit…I didn’t mean to make you…”
Kurt launched himself off the bed and hugged Dave.
“Thank you…this…this is amazing.”
“You’re welcome…if you want help filling out the application, I…well I know how to do it.”
“No…no one’s ever done something like this for me before.”
“I just want you to realize your dream…that’s important to me.”
“Thank you.” Kurt pressed his face into Dave’s chest and let himself cry.
Dave hugged his loosely, he was all too aware that he was hugging Kurt with Kurt’s dad probably only a hundred feet away.
Kurt pulled back. “Come on…let’s start filling this stuff out!”
“Oh…your dad wants you to eat this.” Dave bent over and picked up the plate.
Kurt just smiled.
******************
As Dave opened the door to his house, the smell of bar-b-queuing steak filled his nostrils. He immediately started to salivate.
He walked into the kitchen and put the bag of tomatoes on the counter and the pint of ice cream, that he planned to eat later while watching a movie, went into the freezer. He opened the door to the deck and called out to his dad: “Hey! I’m back.”
His dad looked up from the grill, smiled at him, and yelled back. “Wanna come out and help me?”
“Sure.”
“Grab us each a beer…”
“Um…” Dave was certain he looked completely confused.
“One won’t kill you…”
Shaking his head, Dave grabbed a couple Samuel Adams from the fridge and went out to the deck. He handed one to his dad and took a swig from his own.
His dad nodded and took a long drag.
“So…” His dad started.
“Yeah…”
“You forgot to close your laptop today…”
“You snooped.”
“No…I learned my lesson after…after…that one time.”
“Can we not mention that, like ever again?”
“Deal…anyway, I went in to borrow the next book and saw your laptop…”
“It should have been asleep…”
“I bumped it.”
“You were snooping.”
“I’m proud of you.”
“…”
“I know what you did for Kurt…and I’m proud of you.”
“How did you…”
“Cause, you’re not going to the Tisch school.”
“Oh…”
“So yeah…I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks…”
“Did you tell Kurt?”
“Tell him what?”
“About NYU?”
“That was the whole point…”
“No…did you tell him that you got accepted there too?”
“I think he figured it out…I helped him with the application and pretty much knew exactly what to do.”
“Ah.”
“So…” Dave desperately wanted to change the topic, “what else are we having…”
He felt strangely and suddenly embarrassed.
“I made potato salad. You want to do a green salad?”
“Sure…” Dave moved to go back inside.
“Well…you might as well stay here and finish your beer first.”
Dave nodded and sat down on one of the patio chairs to watch his dad work the BBQ.
He smiled to himself.
Today had been a good day. It had been the kind of day that dreams were made of…or, rather it was the kind of day where dreams seemed to have the ability to come true.
And even though Dave hadn’t managed to sink himself into the world of Gotham City, he’d done something even better.
************
(Epilogue)
*2 Months Later*
Dave hovered the wii-mote over the play button for The Watchmen…he really loved this movie, but was still hesitating.
To be honest, he was having trouble deciding between this one and Limitless.
The Watchmen was…well, The Watchmen. But Limitless…had Bradley Cooper. A shirtless Bradley Cooper.
Of course, he could always do a double-feature. It was Saturday night…he had no real reason to get up early tomorrow. Except to hang out with Kurt.
Plus, his dad had long since gone up to his room to read and really didn’t really care how late Dave stayed up, so he could easily just watch both.
Deciding that he in fact did want a Saturday night double-feature, he picked The Watchmen first…cause if he was going to be totally honest, the only reason he wanted to watch Limitless was so he’d have some fantasy fodder for when he went to bed.
He pressed play and picked up his large bag of Doritos.
Just as The Comedian took his dive out the window, Dave’s phone announced the arrival of a text message. He grabbed the phone from the coffee-table and glanced at it.
Kurt.
Dave paused the movie.
Are you busy?
Without even thinking about it, Dave typed out a reply.
No.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah. Of course.
Are you staying in Ohio for college?
No. I’m not.
Dave sighed. He had hoped that Kurt would figure things out, but maybe he was just too emotionally wrapped up in his being reject to notice the hints Dave had dropped while they were filling out Kurt’s NYU application.
He knew he should have just told Kurt, but something held him back. Fear…maybe he’d been afraid that when Kurt found out that they shared the same dream, he’d be scared off.
Did you apply to NYU?
Yeah. I did.
And!?
Truth time.
Yeah, I got in. I applied back in January, before everything…I aced all my finals and got my final acceptance yesterday.
Why didn’t you tell me?
Honestly? I actually don’t know…
Well, I for one, am really really glad to know you’re coming to NYU…otherwise Mr. Bananas and I are going to be rather lonely.
Dave read that a few times…wait…what?
Does that mean…
Yeah. I’m in. I got an email yesterday…I’ve just been trying to figure out how to ask you if you got in before I told you.
Holy! Fuck!
Dave fist pumped the air.
So, you’ll be there…
With bells on.
Good…because I’ve kind of gotten used to you being around. And I don’t think you and I could do long distance…you’re good company for me and Mr. B.
Dave stared at Kurt’s last message for a very long time. There were a million different ways to interpret it. Could Dave read it as anything more than just the continuation of their friendship…one based on helping each other find and realize their dreams.
Or maybe, just maybe, could it mean that Dave’s dream…his dream of being with Kurt…might actually come true?
I like being around you…and what would my life be like without Mr. B in it. He’s very hug-able.
True. But I prefer cuddling up with a big soft bear myself.
Dave’s fingers paused. He had no idea how to take that…except…
Then…
Yeah…I meant it exactly the way you think I did…
Come over…please.
I’m bringing Mr. B…just so you know.